The Tea Rose Sun

When you woke up today, the Sun rose in the west. 

The bigger miracle was that you woke up without the assistance of your alarm. Soon, there was a brush in your hand and a smile on your face as you admired the view out of your window, not the usual half-toasted piece of bread in your mouth and a frown on your eyebrows in the kitchen because you were getting late. 

When the alarm finally went off, it seemed to be a serene score to your movements as you stepped out of your bath. You could not recollect the last time you spent so much time under a stream of water which was not too cold nor too hot. Neither did you did feel the need to remember. The day was going too well to question its progression. The rougher patches of your life have taught you that some things happen without reason. Even the good things. 

You pace around the house you live in alone. But as you sip on the cup of coffee you are holding, the apartment does not feel empty. Instead of yearning for another soul to share the space with, you feel proud - not many people would be able to afford living in a high-end flat like yours. Instead of yearning for someone to wake up next to in the morning, you feel peace. Again, it is impossible to recollect the last time you felt solitude and not loneliness. Again, you do not want to remember. 

Even what you do remember is not the cause for panic or breathlessness. You are going to lead a big presentation today. The clients will be foreigners. You are an excellent architect and recognised as such. The tag gives you confidence today, not the usual burden. Few people would imagine heading such a meeting at a top firm before reaching their thirties. Yet, here you are, and you have an intrinsic feeling it is going to go your way. 

You take out the best formals you own. They are not crumpled, nor do they have a stain leftover you need to wash again, which would have rendered the clothes unusable. Today, they are in perfect shape. You keep the clothes on the bed and go to take a bath. When you look into the mirror after coming out, you do not look so bad yourself. A‌ glow inhabits your cheeks. It has returned for the first time since forever, almost without explanation. 

The bread pops out of the toaster just in time as you enter the kitchen after putting your clothes. You collect it from the counter, place it on your plate, and apply butter on it with a sense of calm which comes with not being late for any meeting. After having a hearty meal which also consists of milk and fruits, you head out of the door. You close it with ease, and lock it in one motion. There are no fumbles, no insertions of the key in the wrong manner, no difficulties while dropping them into your pocket. 

You are able to hire a taxi as soon as you step out on the road. The breeze blowing across it is a pleasant one. It does not disturb your appearance, or the papers you review with the briefcase by your side. It makes you feel fresh, in spite of the fact that the air should be carrying more impurities than the men who breathe it. 

Rather than having to run into your office, you are able to step out of the taxi with five minutes in your hand. You pay him more than the meter, because an unexpectedly pleasant conversation ensued between the two of you on the way, about unexpected things as well. You stop at the gate for a few moments to catch up with the watchman. His wife was indeed ill as you had heard, and now, she is indeed healthy again. He will take a week’s leave to go his village for his sister’s wedding next month. You wish her the best of luck for married life, him for the journey, and the world for existing before striding into the office. 

Your posture has never been good enough for another to write home about, but the confidence you feel today lends a certain touch of authority as you enter the office. A colleague compliments you, then wishes you the best of luck. After making the appropriate response, you enter your personal space, which you were upgraded to after taking on the current project. 

There is nothing on the agenda until the clients came to visit at around half past ten. This allows you some time by yourself in the space where you usually cannot look up. Now that you can, a sense of pride inhabits the space as well. There are two acrylic landscapes on the wall, a prototype of the model your team had been working on in the corner, and a variety of furniture which please the eye with subtlety more than anything else. In short, it is an office you do not mind spending time in. 

A look out of the window also shows a glimpse of the world, moving along at its pace. You do not know whether it is because you feel calm yourself, or if everyone else does too, but the vehicles seem to be moving along at a pace of leisure. You lean back on your chair and enjoy the sight at hand. It is not magnificent, certainly not one which would catch the eye of even the aesthetic-endorsing. But in that moment, you find rare beauty in the asymmetry of the world, which still manages to connect in ways just out of your grasp. If someone would have asked you to conjure up the words to describe the serenity you felt at that moment, it wouldn’t be possible to do so. All the same, there is serenity. 

Time does not come to a standstill, neither do you. Yet, it feels to be so for a long time. It is only when the phone on your desk rings once, then twice, that you realise the cars travelling on the road in the front of you are not the only elements of the world which have moved along. 

“It is time for your meeting”, your assistant tells you from the other side of the line. You thank her, get up, and pick up your notes, glancing over them once more. The presentation is perhaps the least important aspect of the project, since it’s a mere condensation of the hard work you and your team have put in over the past few months. Yet, as you walk towards the conference room where the high-profile clients have gathered, you know this might be the most crucial aspect of the project too - the pitch is what makes or breaks the deal. 

When you enter the room, you expect negativity for the first time in the day. Usually, the sight of slides ready to be talked about in front of suited businessmen with less than ideal affinity towards innovation would cause an internal fit of disarray. Today, even as you look down at the floor and gulped to expect the feeling, you feel nothing. The light headedness is soon substituted by a regaining of confidence. 

You breeze through the presentation. But it not a rush. There are merely no hesitations, nor no interruptions. At the end of it, you hold your breath. The head of the delegation looks at you. He nods with a smile on his face to acknowledge what he has just seen. Then, the questions began. 

The interest in the project is genuine, as it is ought to be. The deal, if completed, would not be for an insignificant amount. You answer all the questions with diligence, providing additional details about the project which your team has spent the better half of their time for past six months ironing out. And at the end of it all, with the final question having been answered, you let out the slightest of sighs which catches no one’s eyes or ears. The sigh is not exhaustion, nor just relief, but a holistic pleasure. You cannot remember when you last felt this good. 

The visiting leader looks at the other members on the team. It is a formality, going by the visible approval on their faces. He turns to his right, where your boss has been sitting to observe the presentation. The man extends his right hand towards him. They shake hands. “We are satisfied with the plans,” he says. “Shall we discuss numbers?” 

And with that, the two get up, gather their papers, and leave to have a conversation in your boss’ office. One of your team members comes up to you after the formality has left from the meeting, even if some of the visitors pack up. “Today is a day for celebration.” 

You spend your time in the office, working on a minor project handed over to you because the regular leader has taken a leave. You do not mind doing the work - the project is fairly simple, and in its last phase of revisions. The project has been given to you as a way of ensuring you give your own valued inputs on the project now that the chance has presented itself. 

Your own project’s rough contract is already prepared. The chief executives would discuss it over a video conference in the evening to set it in stone. You will be needed throughout the construction, but for the time being there would be only celebrations. 

You are able to leave the office at five in the evening for the first time in weeks, if not months. Every team member accompanies you. Your boss does not mind, and says he would have accompanied the team if it were not for the paperwork he has to get through. He wishes you the best of times for the evening, which you somehow know is what you will have. 

Neither you nor your team bother taking a vehicle. There is a restaurant on the corner right around your office which you go to whenever there is any cause of celebration. Everyone seems to be in a good mood. 

The world has never stopped, and neither have you. But at that moment, the serenity washes over you like the wind which continues to be pleasant. And as you feel solace walking down the middle of the street with your closest associates, you would not want to be anywhere else. A‌ sense of calm is accompanied by the joy of achievement and the pleasure of approval. 

In the distance, you look up at the sky again. It has never looked more beautiful. The Sun is a brilliant shade of tea rose, appearing as a confident streak running across the canvas coloured by the pallets of the city underneath. You take a moment to appreciate the brilliance of it all, even though you know an entire comprehension of it will always escape one. At that moment, you know there is no need to fully comprehend things in life to appreciate its beauty. A satisfaction of just being there, not needing to comprehend, not needing to achieve, not needing to live - but to just exist. 

Then, you notice that the Sun is setting in the East. Once more, this miracle is not the most important aspect of a day which has transcended perfection. But as the Sun subsides beneath the towering skyscrapers, you know it is time to question your reality, your ideals, your goals. You close your eyes and feel the breeze comfort you for a final time. 

When you open your eyes again, you feel good. There is no upsurge of energy – you simply feel at peace. You find yourself looking out of the window, where you stood in the morning. But this time, you see the Sun rising from the east, as it should. The day has been perfect in your head. So what if the celestial beings are governed by laws which cannot be manipulated? You feel confident once more. The future lies ahead, its possibilities endless. There is a momentary desire to live out the day which you just did. But then, you take away its greatest lesson. It is essential to just be where you are sometimes. And as you get ready to begin your day, you feel good about whatever is to come.