17 comments

American Coming of Age Crime

Can u meet me @ Bix?

Sure. Todd, right?

Huh, yeah, Todd.

C you there in 10?

Good.

I'll be wearing red.

Me, too.

Been here for five where are you?

I'm sitting at a table by the door. You must've walked past me.

Heading back to the door now.

No, don't see you.

You sure you're in the right place?

Yep. You? Bix on Main at Fifth.

Oh, no. I'm at Bix on 32nd and Hall. Too far to meet now.

What's up, anyway?

I need to talk. I'm down.

Why? You are so talented and so beautiful.

Thanks. But I don't feel that way.

What do you feel like?

Like nothing. Like darkness.

What? Like darkness? What does that feel like?

I can't explain just trust me it's bad.

How do you mean bad? You feel bad. Or it's bad to feel darkness?

Okay, fuck off with your psychobabble questions.

I'm serious.

Serious about what?

About knowing what makes you feel that way and tick like that sometimes.

What are you saying? I "tick" like that when I feel like it? Is that it?

No. I never said any such thing. Is that what you think about yourself?

Get lost asshole.//

Hey. There's no need to be aggressive and rude. Why are you calling me an asshole? What did I do?

You don't get anything.

What should I get that I don't get?

This isn't about you. Remember? It's about me.

Oh, I thought this was a conversation between friends.

That's where you thought wrong. I'm not your friend.

What do you mean? Who is this?

Your worst nightmare.

Where are you again?

I take it you guessed by now.

You aren't Todd and you weren't at Bix on 32nd and Hall and you aren't wearing red. You probably see me right now, don't you?

Yes. Be careful when you leave. I'll be following you. No matter if you're in a group or not.

Stop. Please. Enough. You are scaring me.

Good.

We can try again tomorrow if you want and make sure we are closer this time.//

Todd? Are you there?

Hi, how's it going?

I could use some help.

Help?

Yeah, my mom and dad are yelling at me all the time. I need to get away from here.

How are you going to do that?

I need money.

How much do you have?

Not enough to get very far.

Well, how much is that?

$200.00

That's a lot of money. You could get a bus ticket pretty far.

Maybe. I want to disappear.

Why?

I hate them both.

Wouldn't it be easier to talk to them?

Maybe, but at times like this, they don't listen.

Why not? Did you say something to make them ignore you?

No. I just don't say anything.

What caused this?

You.

Me? What do you mean?

My parents don't like me texting you. They say you could be an old man or something like that. They want to meet you.

Yeah. I'm not cool with that. I don't like meeting parents. We barely know each other ourselves.

I guess.

I'd meet them but why? I don't have a reason to meet them.

Okay. It would just make my life a whole lot easier if you did.

I'm not comfortable with that.

It's an easy and quick fix.

Try to hang in there. I'll be here waiting for when you can go out again. Don't worry.

I'm not worried. Just wondering why you won't help me.

I can't help you because I'm not comfortable with that. I told you already.

Okay. Fine.

I'll be here waiting for your text. //Shannon, are you there?

Yes, I'm here. Waz up?

I had a fight with my parents today. They think I'm foolish to be texting with someone I've never met. They also would like to meet you.

I'll do it. When and where.

Are you serious? You'll meet my parents?

Yep. Why not.

It's stupid that's why not.

It's only stupid cuz you don't want to meet mine.

So. It's still stupid.

I don't think it is. So there.

Well, I do.

It's not.

It is.

It's time to go. Talk again soon.

Why? Where are you going?

I don't want to hear this stuff.

Okay. Fine. Just lose my number. //

No, wait. Sorry, Shannon, I didn't mean it.

I don't like games. We're supposed to meet to go on a real date and have some fun. You down still or what? It seems like you come up with excuses not to meet at Bix. What gives?

That's not true. Every time we were supposed to have met I was there. You were the one who didn't show.

Well, quite playing games then and get your shit together and meet me already.

Fine. // Todd? Can you tell me if you can meet? Let's try Bix again.

Okay. When?

Not tomorrow because I have to go with my parents to a recital. I'm playing the piano.

Nice. Where is it? I may have to stop by and give it a listen.

Yeah right. Do you even know what a piano is? Ha ha.

That's not funny. I play the guitar and sing.

Ooh, are you in a band? Ha ha.

I was in a band but we split up because my buddy's garage got taken over by his dad's car. Let's try tomorrow.

The Bix on Main? I'll say tomorrow at 5:00. I'm sneaking out. Do't worry. I'll be alone.

Me, too.//

I'm here. Waiting.

I'm on my way.

Okay. I'm waiting for you in a booth by the window.

I'm inside and I don't see you.

I'm not where I said I'd be. That's probably why.

I'm not where I said I'd be either.

Nice try. I can see you.

Yes, Todd, so you can. You finally found me. Please come and join me. Sit down. We've many things to discuss.

Sergeant Dixon waited for the man to sit down. "Todd" was supposed to be meeting a peer aged 14. They were supposed to be meeting for a date. The man was at least 30 and had less than honourable intentions with a 14-year-old girl. They caught him and took him down inside Bix and nobody knew it Two posers texting as 14 year olds who were looking for a connection.

February 11, 2025 01:30

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17 comments

A. Elizabeth
13:28 Feb 20, 2025

I thought this prompt was quite challenging, but you did a great job with it, Lily!

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Lily Finch
16:34 Feb 20, 2025

A. Elizabeth, I've never written a more challenging prompt than this one. Thanks for thinking I did a successful job with it. That helps me to know people at least understand why I wrote it the way I did. It posed a significant challenge. Thanks for reading and letting me know. I appreciate that so much. LF6

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Martin Ross
13:02 Feb 19, 2025

Wow, it takes more discipline than I have to write this style of narrative! You did such a great job, and got the characters across so well even with the minimalist requirements.😊😊

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Lily Finch
18:36 Feb 19, 2025

Thanks, Martin. The stories we are being asked to write with the prompts are becoming more and more challenging for me. They enable me to employ diverse voices and generate innovative thought processes. This one was no exception. LF6

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Martin Ross
18:41 Feb 19, 2025

I am seeing that challenge. Why I’m doing fewer mysteries, but it is stretching me.

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Lily Finch
18:45 Feb 19, 2025

Me too. Believe me, my friend. LF6

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Viga Boland
20:35 Feb 15, 2025

Well done, Lily. You know how much I admire writers who can get a story across using only dialogue…or in this case, text. Bravo!

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Lily Finch
02:19 Feb 16, 2025

Viga, thank you for reading. I am so happy that you admire the writer and like the story. Coming from you, that's a genuine compliment. LF6

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Viga Boland
14:58 Feb 16, 2025

And most deserved Lily ✌️

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Tom Skye
19:05 Feb 13, 2025

Chilling stuff, Lily! Well done

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Lily Finch
04:36 Feb 14, 2025

Thanks, Tom, I appreciate that. LF6

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Mary Bendickson
18:54 Feb 13, 2025

Scary reality.

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Lily Finch
04:36 Feb 14, 2025

Sad, but true. Thanks for reading. LF6

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Tommy Goround
23:34 Feb 12, 2025

thumbs up.

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Lily Finch
04:32 Feb 14, 2025

Thanks Tommy. What happened to Clapping? Sheez.

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Korinne H.
17:57 Feb 11, 2025

This was good!

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Luigi Conte
18:13 Feb 11, 2025

Thanks, Korinne. LF6

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