MISSIONARY STYLE

“Hello, this is Mary calling.” 

“Hi Mary, what’s new? Hang up, and I’ll call you back.” 

“Okay, Barnie, Thank you.”

CLUNK

RING RING RING LONGS RING RING RING RING SHORTS

“Hi Barnie, thanks so much for calling me back.”

“No problem. Is something wrong with someone?” 

“It’s Nick. I received another letter, and he needs money.” 

“Money for what this time?” 

“He’s building a mini hospital he’s calling a dispensary.” 

“What about the Jesuits? Can’t they help?” 

“They helped him with the church, and I know you paid for the altar to remember your daughter.” 

“Yes, that’s right.”

“But, I’d like you to consider that Nicholas has been working on the infrastructure of Patna for so long, and he needs so much help. It’s just something for you to think about. He’s doing the lord’s work. You know Barnie, our parents would be so proud.”

“Yes, Mary, I believe you are correct.” 

“I’ll call Joe and Charlie and Raymond, and I’ll suggest we each contribute $25,000. How does that sound to you, Mary? Acceptable?”

“Oh, Barney, yes, that would be wonderful. I’d love it if they all would contribute that amount of money.” 

“Okay, sis. Will do.” 

“Okay, Barney. I’ll let you go.”

“Right, bye for now.”

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“Hi, this is Barney. Who am I speaking with, please?”

“It’s Barbara Jean, Uncle Barney. How are you?”

“Just fine. I wonder if you might put your dad on the line, please?”

‘Sure, no problem. Nice talking with you, Uncle Barney.”

“Yes, and with you, Barbara Jean.” 

“Joe, how is it going?”

“Not bad, thank you. And you?”

“Great. I was just speaking with Mary about Nicholas.” 

“Oh, is this a money call?” 

“You got it. I’m putting in $25,000, and I’d like you to do the same.” 

“What? $25,000. That’s a lot of money.”

“Yes, it is. But Nicholas lives like a pauper and could use our support,” 

“Support for what? Didn’t he choose to live that way?” 

“Yes, he chose that life because he has a calling to help build infrastructure for the less fortunate of Patna. You surely would want to be a part of that, wouldn’t you? Think about Mom and Dad and how proud they would be of Nicholas. To know you had a hand in something so powerful and great. Wouldn’t that be great?”

“Fine. You had to bring up Mom and Dad, didn’t you? Where do I send the money?”

“Send it to Mary.” 

“Goodbye.”

“Goodbye for now.”

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“Hi, this is Barney. Who am I speaking with, please?”

“It’s Tim, Uncle Barney. How are things going?” 

“Not too badly, what about you?” 

“I’m going into grade seven. Can you believe it?”

“Wow! Isn’t that something you’re becoming a big man?”

“Thanks. I hope so. Do you want to speak with my father or my mother?”

“Your father, please.”

‘Charlie here. I heard this is Barney, and you called my son a man.”

“Yes, and yes. Guilty.” the men laughed. “The reason I’m calling is on behalf of Mary for Nicholas. Before you groan, Joe is on board.”

“Okay, how much is it going to cost me?”

“$25,000.”

“Okay, where do I send the money?”

“Send it to Mary.”

“Will do.”

“Oh. and Charlie, don’t make me come over there to remind you or get the cheque that won’t be acceptable.” 

“Got it.”

“Goodbye for now,”

“Goodbye.”

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“Hi, this is Barney calling. Is your dad at home, please?”

“One moment, please.

“This is Raymond; how are you, Barny? How’’s the family?” 

“Everyone is fine, and everything is going well, thank you. And yours?”

“Couldn’t be better.” 

“Your business with the calcium, how’s it getting on?” 

“It’s great. We’re making a killing.”

“Well, that’s excellent news. I’m calling on behalf of Mary, hoping you’ll match your contribution with the rest of your brothers of $25,000. It’s for Nicholas, who is building the infrastructure for something in Patna. You can send them to Mary.”

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“Hello, this is Mary.”

“Hi Mary, We’ve raised $125,000 for Nicholas. I didn’t bother to call Gerald, but I’ll leave that up to you.” 

“It is probably better that we just leave him alone. I’ll ask him if he wants to donate some money, but I’m not telling him the amount all of you donated. Barney, dear, you are the best.”

“Alright, Mary, I’m glad to have helped out.” 

“Goodbye, dear heart.”

“Goodbye for now.”

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“Hi, Geraldine, this is Mary. Can I speak with Gerald, please?”

“Hi, Mary. Yes, Of course, he’s right here.”

“Hi Mary, what’s new?”

“Hi Gerald, I’m calling on behalf of Nicholas. He needs money to help build his infrastructure for his beloved Patna.”

“How much are we talking?”

“Any amount is great. Whatever you think you can afford to give is perfect.”

“We’re giving $500.00.”

“Fine. We’ll do the same. Are you collecting the money?”

“Yes. I’ll be sending the money by wire transfer. With all the money I’ve raised, he should be able to work for a long while. That should make him happy. I am proud he can do God’s work in such a desolate area of India. He occasionally sees Bengal Tigers and other wild animals that come through the village. It is a scary work environment.”

“Yes. I don’t think that kind of work is cut out for me. I’d rather farm here at home. Besides, wild animals aren’t my thing. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. I’d be so scared. Fear can eat a person up.”

“Bill and I couldn’t do that either. Farming is in Bill’s blood.” 

“Yes. You’re right, and he’s good at it.” 

“Well, thank you, Gerald, for saying so. I’d better get going. I’ve got bread in the oven.”

“Oh, my, yes. You’d better get it.”

“Goodbye, Gerald”

“Goodbye, Mary.”