When I was 16 I wasn't very superstitious, I didn't believe in ghosts. A lot has changed since then. It started one day on the way home from school. Our last class had run late.
I walked along the sidewalk to the beat of the music coming from my headphones. Loud enough to drown out the sound of the idiots catcalling from across the street. I focused on my feet and tried not to draw any more unwanted attention to myself. I turned onto Foxwood drive and let out the air I didn’t realize I was holding in. Halfway up the street I slowed down. Houses lined the street and no one was sitting outside, or hanging out in parked cars. No one ever played on this street either. It was the only street where I felt comfortable enough to be myself. Especially the reason no one ever played on the sidewalks here.
Suspicion, and rumors. I didn't believe the hype, but it gave the street a creepy edge I wasn't comfortable with. For everyone to ignore this street, something terrible must have happened.
I should’ve taken another street home.
As I glanced up to make sure I was still going the right way, I saw a familiar building in my peripheral vision, and turned to look at the old house. I froze when I realized where I knew it from, my dream from the night before. I took a moment to try to remember what the dream was about.
I remembered flashes of the house from the outside, a hallway with a creaking door swinging open, and a thrill of fear down my spine. I took a short step towards the house and a hand hit my shoulder, a quick tap that startled me, and I jumped. I turned to the person responsible, and breathed a sigh of relief, pulling out one of my earbuds.
It was a girl. She was shorter than me by at least half a foot, and had bright pink hair that barely extended past her ears. She looked almost exactly like me, but she had more freckles across her nose than I did. I smiled.
“Sarah, You startled me!” I laughed. “What took you so long to catch up?” I paused when I realized she was sweaty, breathing hard, and had a look of annoyance plastered on her face. I instantly felt terrible.
“I’ve been yelling for you to slow down for the last three blocks.” She grumbled. I shrugged apologetically.
“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you.” I apologized quickly, full of remorse. She wiped at the sweat accumulating on her forehead, and glanced down at my sweatshirt.
“How can you wear that thing in this heat?” She asked, still grumpy. “It’s 104 out today!”
“I was hoping it would keep the idiots down the street from gawking and catcalling.” I grumbled, turning back to the house. “And besides, It’s really not that bad.” She glared at me for a moment before the sound of a door slamming shut echoed from inside one of the houses on the deserted street. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, There wasn’t a car in sight. No one seemed to be home. I shrugged it off.
“Why do we have to take this shortcut?” She whimpered, “You know this street is haunted right?” She was just as superstitious as everyone else I’d come across in this town.
Moving to a new city is always hard. Especially when you have to worry about not doing something, like walking under a ladder so people will leave you alone about 'bad luck'.
“I don't believe in ghosts.” I shrugged, full of confidence.
“You’ve only been here a few months. You haven’t seen the shit I’ve seen.” She stated walking past the house. I rolled my eyes and stayed staring at it. I turned to look at her.
“I’m going to go inside.” I stated. She froze immediately and turned sharply on her heel to stare at me. I laughed at the expression on her face.
“That place is haunted!” She sputtered as she swiftly marched back to my side. “And even if you don’t believe in ghosts, That’s still breaking and entering!”
“It’s not breaking and entering if you don't break anything.” I laughed. She gave me a horrified look.
“That’s not true!” She stated, definitely. “ All you have to do is open the door!”
“Oh come on, we can go tonight, It’ll be fun!” I laughed. She was shaking her head in defiance before the words were out of my mouth.
“No, no, no, no, no.” She stated grimly. “We aren’t doing anything. If you want to break in and die, then that’s on you.” She stated grabbing my arm and trying to drag me back on track. "I am not doing stupid shit!"
“I dare you to join me tonight.” I smiled. She never turned down a dare.
“I hate you so much.” She groaned, struggling with her bags.
“No you don’t.” I laughed, and continued on our way home. I glanced back at the house, one more time.
We got to my house quickly.
“We’re back!” We called into the house, 3 small children ran up to meet us at the door. One of them hugged my legs, while the other two were trying to tackle Sarah.
“Katie!” The 4 year old attached to my legs yelled happily.
“Hi Carrie!” I picked her up and hugged her tight, she started to wriggle in my arms so I set her down.
“Come on, let's play!” She tried to tug me into the living room where she’d been drawing.
“Sorry Bunny, we have to get ready for work.” I said. Sarah had already led Sally and Daniel back into the living room.
“Aww.” The kids started to cry. We calmed them down with promises of sweets from the bakery when we got home. As we were running up the stairs we ran into Mom.
“Why are you late?” She asked. Then she noticed Sarah and smiled.
“I didn’t know you were staying the night tonight Sarah.” She seemed a little suspicious. “I’ve got to call your mom to make sure she’s ok with it.” She passed us in the stairway, struggling to get past Sarah’s bags. We flattened ourselves to the wall. Mom laughed.
“Ok Mrs. Tate.” Sarah said.
“Come on, we’re going to be late for work.” I ushered her up the stairs and we ran to my room.
We quickly got ready for work and left. Mom was waiting in the entryway when we got downstairs. She was smiling.
“Mom, can we borrow the car?” I asked and she smiled and tossed me the keys. I hugged her tight and we ran out to the car.
***
“Well, that sucked.” I sighed as we climbed into the car. A bag of pastries in my hand.
“Work always sucks.” She laughed. The rain beat down on the car as I started it.
“Ok let's hurry back so we can get ready to investigate this so-called haunted house.” I laughed. She made a face. We warmed up for a minute by the heat in the car.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” She stated.
“We used a ouija board last week when I stayed the night.” I laughed and she turned scarlet.
“Yeah but those don’t actually work.” She tried to say.
“So we didn’t actually talk to the ghost of your grandmother last week?” I asked, raising my eyebrow at her as I pulled away from the bakery.
“I meant they aren’t dangerous.” She stated defiantly.
I rolled my eyes and put on some music. We sang loudly and laughed as I drove us back home.
When we got home, we walked inside.
“My feet are killing me.” Sarah whined as we kicked our shoes off. I nodded in agreement.
“Mine too.” I agreed.
“Welcome home,” Mom said as she passed. “There’s pizza in the fridge, everyone else is in bed so try to keep it down ok?”
“Ok mom.” I kissed her on the cheek as she headed up to bed. She always waited up for me to get home from work. We walked into the kitchen and got some pizza.
“So, what’s the plan?” Sarah asked after we started eating.
“Hold on.” I whispered and turned the tv on in the living room, turning it down.
We sat down in front of the TV and ate.
“Are you going to tell me?” She asked. I chuckled.
“We’re going to walk down there with flashlights and explore the house.” I stated.
“Katie, It’s raining, Foxwood drive is three blocks away.”
“So we’ll take the raincoats and umbrellas in the closet.”
“Katie..”
“Sarah, You can’t be afraid for the rest of your life.” I stated, standing up and walking back into the kitchen with my empty plate.
“Ok, fine.” She agreed and I beamed at her.
“Let’s get ready.” I smiled.
We quickly got ready, collecting flashlights, spare batteries, umbrellas, and raincoats. We snuck out the back door and started walking. As we walked we had to shine our flashlights so we could see. The lightning was as consistent as I had hoped. The thunder was unnerving to Sarah. By the time we arrived she was jumping every time the thunder sounded.
I smiled up at the big rickety house. We took a few deep breaths and started up the drive.
I pushed open the front door, the door sticking from the rain and several years of unuse.
“God, it smells in here.” Sarah groaned, disgusted and plugging her nose. I gagged and plugged mine as well.
“We should’ve brought nose plugs.” I groaned. “Let’s start upstairs.” We brought our umbrellas but left our raincoats on so we wouldn’t have to unplug our noses.
We headed upstairs, as we climbed the narrow stairway, we noticed the smell got worse.
“Holy shit, I think I’m gonna puke.” Sarah held her shirt up over the bottom half of her face. I followed her lead and did the same. I pointed at the first door at the top of the stairs, a big black door, and we headed over to it. She opened the door and then ducked behind me. I screamed and dropped my flashlight.
Inside the room was the most grizzly scene I had ever seen, in or out of a movie.
Sarah peeked around me and immediately threw up all over our shoes, her flashlight slipped from her hand into her vomit. I followed suit. When we straightened up I noticed with horror that something had changed.
‘GET OUT’ Was on the wall, written in the blood. We tripped over the vomit in our haste to leave and ended up falling in the sick. We struggled in the mess but managed to get up and run, leaving our flashlights behind where they fell. We slipped and slid down the stairs, falling down the last few steps. We immediately got up and ran to the door.
“It won’t open!” Sarah yelled, I pushed her hands aside and tried to pull the door open.
“Fuck!” I yelled and threw up again from the smell, which was getting worse.
“Lets try the back door!”
We bolted to the back door and I noticed with relief that it was glass. I tried to open it but lost hope quickly.
“Oh my god!” Sarah screamed. I turned to see a man standing at the end of the hallway, a giant hole in the top of his head. His skin was white as a sheet. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Sarah threw up again. I tried to open the door again and screamed in frustration when it wouldn’t open. I took my umbrella and bashed it against the door.
The man walked steadily closer as I bashed on the glass. A crack started and then the whole pane shattered. Glass cut into my hand when it shattered. I grabbed Sarah and we bolted into the backyard. We ran to the side gate and threw it open, rust almost keeping it shut. We ran all the way down Foxwood drive and halfway back to my house before we had to stop.
“Holy shit.” I gasped. I looked up into the rain to try to wash some of the sick off my face. Sarah followed my lead. I leaned over and started gagging and sobbing.
“What the fuck just happened?” Sarah yelled, the thunder drowned out her voice.
“That was a terrible fuckin idea.” I groaned when I could breathe again.
“NO SHIT!” Sarah screamed.
We jogged the rest of the way home.
When we got back we took turns in the shower trying to drown our fear.
Sarah and I stopped hanging out after that.
Now, 30 years later, I moved away, but when I hear that somewhere is haunted, I stay away.
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2 comments
I enjoyed reading this story. I like the dynamic you wrote between your characters - it's believable and fun to read. For feedback, the one thing that bothered me is all the dialogue tags. There always a new one when someone speaks (she groaned, she whispered, she started, etc) and it starts to add up, making the story less fluid to read. I'd reccomend just sticking to the simple 'she said, she asked', When you overuse the more vivid tags, they won't have as much impact for when you need them ('she screamed') and it starts to feel like ext...
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Thank you so much for your feedback! I love the constructive criticism and look forward to getting better. I'm glad you liked my story. I'm excited to keep writing and getting more feedback!
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