New Year's Resolution

“Are you mad?” Linette scrunched her brows up in disbelief. “That’s your New Year’s resolution?”

“What? Why do you sound so surprised?” Bridgette took a sip from her wine.

“Bridgette, are you being blackmailed or something?”

“What? No. Why would you think that?”

“Uhm, maybe because you sound ridiculous and not at all like yourself.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Bridgette puffed in defense.

“No, what’s ridiculous is what you just told me.”

“All I said was that I want to have a baby.”

“With Rex?”

“Yes.”

“And tell me. What has your New Year’s resolution been for the past five years?”

Uncomfortably Bridgette shifted from one foot to the other.

“It’s different . . .”

“No, please indulge me. What has your New Year’s resolution been for the past five years?”

“That I will leave Rex,” Bridgette mumbled as she took another sip from her wine.

“I’m sorry?” Linette leaned forward with raised eyebrows.

“That I will leave Rex.” Bridgette enunciated rolling her eyes.

“So how did your yearly resolution of determination to leave him, end with you wanting his babies?”

“It’s not as simple as . . .”

“It’s pretty simple. For years you’ve been complaining about him; how lazy he is, that he doesn’t appreciate you, that he flirts with anything that has a skirt.”

“Sure, I’ve complained about him every now and then . . .”

“Try every single day.”

“But that’s just what us girls do, you know. Complain here, have babies there.”

“Did I mention you threatening to leave him every year?” Linette tried again.

“I know, but the thing is I’m not getting any younger, and my parents are pressuring me to give them grandbabies and Rex is not all that bad. I know he can be lazy and isn’t the most romantic man in the world, but we all have our flaws. I mean look at you.”

“What about me?”

“You’re a prostitute . . .”

“Excuse me . . .”

“But I don’t judge you for it.”

“I am not a prostitute, thank you very much. I am an escort.”

“Same difference.”

“No, not ‘same difference’ and you know it. And we are not talking about me right now, so stop trying to change the subject.”

“I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it. I’m just . . . I’m so tired of everyone else’s lives looking like a fairy tale with the big house, nice car, cushy job and 2.5 children. Then I look at my life and what do I have? I am a cashier at the grocery store, I live in a rented one-bedroom apartment, I have a boyfriend that I hate and I feel like such a failure.” Bridgette sank down in the nearest chair, hanging her head in her hands.

“Oh, Bree. You’re not a failure.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Just because everyone around you has all these things, doesn’t mean they are happy.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m guessing that all these big boats and nice cars popped up on your social media?”

“Yes and?” Bridgette lifted her head away from her hands.

“Social media is so far away from the truth it’s not even funny. People use it to make themselves feel better, by making others feel bad, by posting a fake life for everyone to see.”

“You’re not making sense.”

“Have you ever seen someone post how they lost their job, that they hate their kids or that they are being cheated on?”

“No, but I don’t see the . . .”

“Exactly. Nobody wants everybody to know how bad their life is. So they only post pictures of their great vacation or the awesome food they are eating or selfies of how happy they are. But we all have things we would like to change of ourselves or of our lives. Someone who has 2.5 children and a big house might look at your life and wish for the freedom you have of not being stuck in one place or being responsible for other human beings.” Linette took a breath.

“Are you happy with your life?”

“Sometimes. I love the life I have. I have great friends, a beautiful apartment and not to mention the great sex, but there are times when I wish I had the courage to go out there and do what I really want to do.”

“And that is?”

“I want to be a game ranger.”

There was silence for a while as Bridgette’s mind ran a thousand miles a minute, before asking.

“A what?”

“A game ranger,” Linette repeated refilling both their glasses.

“Since when?”

“Since always.”

“Really? How come I’ve never known?”

“You’ve never asked,” Linette stated matter of fact, to which Bridgette could not actually disagree with.

“Huh. A game ranger?” Bridgette said as she took a sip from her glass.

“Yup.”

“So why aren’t you a game ranger?”

“The same reason you are still with Rex.”

“You made a New Year’s resolution that you never went through with?”

“No.” Linette rolled her eyes, but her lip curled up into a smile. “Procrastination . . . Afraid to get out of my comfort zone . . . Frightened of trying and failing . . .”

“I can’t believe you never told me.” Bridgette referred back to her previous statement.

“You never asked.” Linette reminded her.

“True.”

“So do you really want to have a baby?” Linette claimed the seat next to Bridgette.

“No.” Bridgette confessed. “I guess you’re right. I’ve been feeling so stuck in my own life and looking at other people’s social media hasn’t helped either. I just thought that maybe, just maybe if I changed my New Year’s resolution, I might have the courage to actually go through with it.”

“I have an idea. How about you don’t have Rex’s baby and you commit to actually leaving him this time. I will hold you accountable and won’t stop pestering you until you do it.”

“Only if I can pester you to go after what you really want and be a game ranger. Though I can’t say that I can picture you as one yet, but I will support and bug you all the way through.”

“Deal.” They raised their glasses in support of one another and to new New Year’s resolutions.