Bargain Basement Vacations

Courtney clicked on the email from Bargain Basement Vacations.  She thought a vacation was sorely needed. The view of the frozen Kinnickinnic River, near the University of Wisconsin, was losing its appeal this late into January.  It’s always said that January is the most depressing month of the year.  The resolutions made on New Years were broken. Credit card bills arrived from all those generous gifts purchased.  It’s cold, dark and dreary. There is nothing to look forward to until there is a perceivable difference in the amount of daylight.  Her morale was further diminished due to breaking up with her boyfriend two weeks before Christmas.  She felt that Richard was not taking ownership of his failed ice sculpting business.  Well, it could be said his lack of talent to be more precise.

            Courtney confronted Richard and suggested that it might be time to give up his life’s dream.  She delicately mentioned that his spatial awareness deficit disorder was an impediment.  It was not just her opinion that his ice sculptures always ended up resembling a phallus. Everyone else thought so too.  During a summer BBQ Richard presented his first work of art.  Courtney arrived early as Richard wanted to surprise her. Upon the unveiling the adults immediately explained to the children that it was a magic mushroom. 

            The breakup was preceded by an argument where Richard, unbeknownst to Courtney, had offered her supervisor a free ice sculpture for his Christmas party.  Courtney explained to Richard that her supervisor’s wife was a doctor at Planned Parenthood. The argument escalated when Richard accused her of not being supportive.  Courtney accused Richard of being inflexible.  Their failure to meet common ground resulted in the dissolution of their relationship.

            Courtney yearned for the sunshine of a pleasant beach to replenish her broken spirit.  She booked the all-inclusive hotel without hesitation.  Three weeks later she was in the lobby of the secluded hotel, catching a glimpse of the sunshine reflecting off the scenic ocean.  Upon checking in she was notified by the attendant at the front desk that she was upgraded to a suite.  Courtney was euphoric as she concluded that her luck was changing.  She even became hopeful that a handsome man would flirt with her on the beach.  A bellman took her luggage and escorted her to the suite.  Courtney unpacked all of her clothes neatly in the drawers and put her bags in the closet.  She grabbed a book and left for the beach.

            As the elevator that Courtney was on closed the elevator beside it opened. Orson walked out pulling his suitcase looking for the suite number that he had upgraded himself to the previous day.  He entered the door pleased that he had treated himself to such an opulent room.  He dumped the contents of his suitcase on the bed.  Then started rummaging through everything from his undergarments to his aftershave to find his swim trunks. After raiding the contents of the mini fridge, he left.  

            Orson stood in front of the beach stretching his arms in reverence of crystal-clear turquoise water.  Courtney looked up from her book to see a man short in statue and wide in girth with a hairy back in front of her.

            “Excuse me you are blocking my view sir,” Courtney said disingenuously.

            “How can I be blocking the view of your book, sweetheart” Orson responded.

            Feeling patronized she responded, “It wasn’t necessary to draw my attention away from my book to view your backside.”

            “I said excuse me.  What more did you want me to apologize for?”

            “Sorry,” Courtney was annoyed at herself for being irritated so quicky.  This wasn’t the chance encounter she was hoping for.  Orson sat down next to her and introduced himself.  She put forth the effort to appear amiable.  After a half an hour of listening to Orson rattle on about his job in sales, Courtney felt that she had exuded enough positivity.  She graciously explained that it was too hot in the sun and needed to cool down in the water.  Orson proceeded to the bar for a cocktail. When Courtney returned, she was delighted that the chair next to her was empty once again. 

            A few hours later the beach attendants were stacking the lounge chairs as the majority of the guests left for their rooms.  Courtney was eager to freshen up with a shower and continue reading her book over dinner by the beach.  She entered the suite and wondered who left it in such a mess.  In the bedroom she found a pile of men’s clothes on the bed.  At that moment she turned around to find Orson walking out of the bathroom fully naked toweling off his back.

            “What are you doing in my room?” shouted Courtney.

            “Your room.  This is my room honey. You can clearly see my clothes on the bed!”

            “I am not your honey or your sweetheart. I was here earlier. I packed my clothes in these drawers and my luggage is in that closet. I am calling the front desk,” Courtney left the bedroom and called the front desk.  The receptionist reviewed the reservations and was baffled.  The hotel did in fact accept two reservations with the same last name for one room.  It was also coincidental that the reservations were booked under same third-party vendor.  There must have been an error by the vendor as well as the hotel.  When Courtney asked if there was a vacancy available, she was told that the hotel was fully booked.  The only option available would be to share the suite. Courtney returned to the bedroom to find Orson on the bed in his towel tossing peanuts into his mouth. 

            “What did the front desk say?”  Are they sending someone to move all your luggage to a different room?”

            “Could you please put some clothes on before I explain what happened.”

            “I can tell you what happened.  You are in my suite that I upgraded myself too yesterday.  I paid for this room. You can leave.”

            “We both have the same last name.  We both booked our vacations using Bargain Basement Vacations. The Bargain Basement made an error.  The hotel made an error.  Now I’m here witnessing an error. Since this hotel is in the middle of nowhere the only option is to share the room,” Courtney said.

            “Well, you can take the couch,” said Orson.

            “How chivalrous of you.  Don’t worry a cot will be brought up for me to sleep on. Now if you don’t mind, I am going to take shower before dinner. Hopefully we are not dining together as well”. Of course, the staff at the restaurant hotel thought that two people with the same last name in the same room would want to be seated at the same table.  Orson and Courtney had dinner together.  Once they started talking to each other found that they enjoyed each other’s company.