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Adventure Fantasy

Nyx shivered and pulled the hood of his dark green cloak closer around his face.

It was raining in Briarwood, and he and his two companions were unfortunately caught in it. The golden sun had set hours ago, and everyone else had fallen asleep - but Nyx couldn't. There was too much to think about.

He shivered again, harder this time, and brushed a strand of dripping black hair out of his eyes as he stared at his sleeping friends. His eyes passed quickly over the sleeping bundles huddled around the fire, the closest bundle was that of his younger sister, Mina.

He felt a plunge of guilt as he remembered the great danger she was in, all because he couldn't keep his stupid mouth shut.

Nyx shuddered as, almost as if they had been summoned, the memories of that cursed day filled his mind until that was all he could see.


It had all started on the day of the announcement.

each year, the citizens of Everial hosted a village-wide celebration in honor of their ruler, Lady Kalah. the celebration usually lasted two to three days, and consisted of feasts, tournaments, and fireworks. Fifteen-year-old Nyx and eight-year-old Mina had been delighted to hear that their aunt Liana and uncle Aether would be taking them to the celebration on the last day. They arrived as the first feasts started and enjoyed themselves tremendously - eating pie, playing games with the other village children, and watching the fireworks once the sun went with their aunt and uncle. Everyone was preparing to leave when Lady Kallah made her announcement.

He could clearly remember standing near the edge of the torch-lit platform as Everial's ruler announced that there were several... traitors amongst them. He remembered gasping along with everyone else, carefully eyeing the crowd to see who might be a traitor. Surely no one would betray Lady Kallah? sure, she isn't the best leader ever, but at least she isn't a tyrant. He had thought, horrorstruck. He remembered that Mina had shuffled closer to him, her beautiful blue eyes wide with worry.

"Traitors? surely she doesn't mean that?" she had whispered, leaning into Nyx's chest.

"I...I don't know. this is the first I've heard about it." he murmured back, stroking his sister's fawn-brown hair away from her eyes.

Lady Kallah had only smiled grimly as she drank in the whispers and horrified glances. She then beckoned for two of her soldiers to come to her. When the soldiers reached the steps, Nyx realized with a flash of horror that they were dragging two teenagers behind them - a boy with blond hair and piercing blue eyes, and a red-haired girl who appeared to be not much older then Nyx.

The teenagers didn't even struggle as they were lead to the platform, they only glared fiercely at Kallah and her soldiers.

"You may be wondering what these urchins did to be brought up here," Kallah's voice boomed, making Nyx jump.

"The answer to that is: treason."

More nervous murmuring filled the air, and Nyx realized with a hint of confusion that Lady Kallah didn't look upset at all at the prospect of being betrayed and having to punish these young citizens - no, in fact, she looked...pleased.

Why would she be pleased that someone break the law? He frowned. He could hear his aunt and uncle muttering in hushed voices behind him, but he didn't try to listen - he was to busy staring at the two traitors on the platform.

The torch-filled area fell silent as their ruler spoke once more.

"You may be wondering what crimes these poor, brainwashed felons committed." She spoke calmly as she paced the length of the platform. Nyx hardly dared to breath as the red-haired captive stood defiantly even as Lady Kallah circled her, her hazel eyes flaring every time the accusing ruler mentioned her treason.

Kallah continued; "And that, my dear, citizens, is what you are about to hear."

The black haired ruler suddenly whipped around, a dagger in her hand. Where did the dagger come from? Nyx thought dully. He felt Mina flinch against him as the ruler of Everial moved swiftly across the platform to press the flat of her blade against the teenage boy's neck. "In fact, I think it would be fitting that they admitted their crimes themselves." she hissed.

This was a very foolish move on Kallah's part.

Before Nyx could comprehend what he was seeing, Lady Kallah had sliced the boy's gag off and motioned for one of her soldiers to do the same to the girl. The girl winced as her gag was cut off, and Nyx could see a thin line of blood well up on her cheek where the soldier's dagger had cut off her gag. "Bria!" The boy gasped, rushing to his companion's aid. "I'm ok, Arron." she muttered, barely loud enough to be heard. "Its just a scratch."

Nyx remembered being confused by the triumphant glances Lady Kallah gave the two prisoners, and the hateful stares they gave her in return.

He had watched nervously as one of the beefy guards moved on Kallah's signal and grabbed Bria's arm, dragging her to the center of the platform. "Speak." the guard growled, ignoring the red head's cry of pain.

At this point Mina looked very distressed. "Nyx, what is happening? what did they do?" she had said in her soft, small voice.

Nyx responded by nudging his little sister gently. "Shh!" she is about to speak." his heart was pounding - he didn't know it then, but this trial was going to change things forever for he and his sister.

Bria's hazel eyes had flared mutinously as Lady Kallah beckoned for her to speak, a cruel smile on her lips. finally, the red haired captive turned towards the waiting audience and began to speak, her voice strong and passionate, like a ray of sun on a snowy day.

"People of Everial," she began. "I am standing here before you with charges of treason." a grim smile played across her lips.

"These charges are completely false - unless you call free will treason."

Nyx shifted from foot to foot.

Bria continued; "About three years ago, our families - Arron's and mine, suffered from a draught." several people nodded - Nyx remembered the draught that had swept through the land several years ago - his family hadn't suffered badly, but he had heard of others who did. some families had lost everything in the two years of draught. He wondered with a shiver if Bria's was one of those families.

"In that time, we lost our livestock, our crops, everything." her eyes hardened with hate. "And when we went to seek help from Lady Kallah, she did nothing. She cast us out into the streets like dogs, and took the rest of our belongings - leaving us with the clothes on our backs and the hunger in our bodies. She cares nothing for those around her - only herself. In fact, she isn't even one of us, she is -"

Kallah drew a quick furious breath and gestured for the soldier to stop Bria. Nyx gasped in horror as the guard grabbed Bria by the shoulder and yanked her backwards. "Bria, it's not worth it!" Arron cried leaping at her.

"Yes, it is! they need to know the truth!" she cried, kicking her captor in the knee. she darted to the front of the stage-like structure.

"you must listen! Kallah isn't who you think she is! we found the scrolls! she-" Bria cut off with a cry of pain as the furious guard lunged at her and threw her to the ground.

a sort of numbness filled Nyx and, before he knew what he was doing, he leapt onto the platform and rushed to Bria's side.

"You have to leave before its to late!" Bria was screaming. "She will have her army of Dark Soldiers here before long!"

Heart pounding, Nyx yanked a soldier from behind and sent him toppling off the edge of the platform.

"Nyx!" Mina was screaming, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Nyx was only conscious of the fight in front of him - the rest of the world seemed to melt away; Mina's fearful cries, Arron's frantic yells, and the crowd's horrified gasps.

he heard Kallah shriek, "Seize him!" but he was barely aware of it. As he kicked the back of a soldier's knee, the weight of what he was doing finally sunk in. I'm attacking the Lady's soldier's - and aiding traitors.

I'll be hanged.

But in his heart, he knew that this was the right thing to do - Lady Kallah could not be trusted, if what these people were saying was true.

Someone came up behind him and tried to pick him up and throw him into the crowd - but the motion was interrupted by a sharp yell, and as Nyx turned he saw a guard crumple to the ground with Mina standing behind him. "Get out of here! do you have any idea how much trouble we are gonna be in?" he yelped, shoving her back towards where their aunt and uncle were watching with helpless expressions as another league of guards came out of nowhere to hold back any onlookers who might like to join the fight.

"Kid, you are crazy! what do you think you are doing? take your sister and both of you get out of here!" Bria cried, flailing wildly as a guard almost wrenched her arm off.

"I can't leave you guys to get killed!" he had cried back, ducking gratefully as Arron intercepted a blow that would have went straight to his eye.

during this time, Lady Kallah had rushed into the safety her carriage with the instructions of bringing the prisoners to her as soon as they were contained.

Mina was curled up in a ball at the edge of the platform, crying her eyes out as the remaining guards escorted the crowd of frantic onlookers away from the platform. He was dully aware of his aunt and uncle's hysteric screams as they tried to fight their way back to their children, only to be overpowered by at least a dozen guards.

"Bria, they can't go back now! you really think Kallah is just going to let them walk away after helping us?" Arron growled, flipping a shock of blond hair out of his eyes.

Nyx felt sick. Arron was right. after this, he would ever be able to go back home.

An even worse thought struck him. what will they do with Mina?

He had barely any time to linger on this before Bria shoved him out of the way of a punch and yelled instructions at Arron:

"Get them out of here. get them to safety and go find the Oracle!"

Arron whipped around, his blue eyes full of disbelief. "I'm not leaving you!" he punched a guard in the face and helped Nyx beat another to the ground.

"We will be fine! lets just finish this and get out of here!" Nyx protested, knocking out another guard and narrowly missing the kick of another. It seemed like as fast as they were beating them, more were appearing.

Bria shook her head and shielded an oblivious Mina from a falling guard. "No time. Arron, now. I will meet you at our spot as soon as I can." she said determinedly.

Arron looked unsure. "How will I know you will make it out?

Bria took a pause to smile reassuringly. "I will always come back for you."

Arron nodded unhappily and darted over to Nyx. They had finally knocked out all of the guards - it was obvious that they spent their time eating and lazing around instead of training - but they would have to be fast, because the next round of soldiers was coming.

"Don't worry about me! find the Oracle!" Bria's voice called from behind him, and when he looked back, he saw that she had hefted a pole from out of the ground and was wielding it like a spear.

"You two, come with me." Arron said, roughly grabbing Nyx's arm and urging him to the edge of the platform.

"Where will we go?" Nyx asked frantically, pushing Mina to her feet and running after Arron down the stairs with Mina at his heels.

"Into Briarwood." Arron's voice was rough, and Nyx knew that leaving Bria behind was very hard for him.

"What was she talking about? 'the oracle'?' Nyx wheezed as he sprinted into the woods, leaving behind the only home he had ever known.

Arron didn't turn around as he answered.

"I will explain later. for now, we have to get to the Treebridge."

Nyx halted suddenly. "Woah, woah, woah. you can't just expect me to follow you into a dangerous woods at night! I don't know anything about you!"

Arron whipped around, his eyes suddenly dangerous. "That's exactly what I expect you to. Bria might have just given her life to get you to safety - and I will not let her die in vain. you are coming with me no matter what."

Nyx gulped and hoisted Mina onto his back, and followed after Arron.

September 28, 2024 01:42

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5 comments

Oliver Gray
09:40 Dec 02, 2024

Very well done. Thoroughly enjoyed Vol 1. Will read Vol 2. after work. Will echo something Cedar noted, with a small twist. The ages might need tweaked...but... as long as you establish that Nyx has the size and capacity to toss a full-grown/adult guard aside, you should be okay. If you push on with this tale as a novel/series (and I hope you do), I'd say to focus on the way characters speak. Dirty up the language if needs be. Shorten words if the character would. combine words. Best examples I have for that is George Martin. The scenes a...

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Charis Keith
14:37 Dec 02, 2024

Thank you so much for the feedback!! I will take what you have said into consideration - I am rapidly approaching a deadline for another project, so that is where my main focus is at the moment, but after I finish that I will take a look at maybe changing things according to what you have said. Again, thank you for the feedback! It was very encouraging!

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Cedar Barkwood
21:14 Oct 05, 2024

Hello Charis! First of all, thank you for sharing! I really enjoyed your story. For a first draft, its incredibly refined. It pairs really well with the sequel. If I had any criticism, it would be to make Nix and Mina a little older. I think it might add some depth to the characters and make the story, for lack of better words, more realistic.

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Charis Keith
21:34 Oct 05, 2024

thank you for your feedback! I will take this into consideration... maybe make Mina be twelve, and Nyx fifteen?

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Charis Keith
20:42 Oct 05, 2024

Author's note: this story (and its sequel) are basically just rough drafts for a series I might write someday - emphasis on 'rough'. this was really more of a 'get this out there and see what people think' situation - so don't be afraid to criticize! thank you for reading, - Charis

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