47 comments

Romance Sad Drama

He will die, life and light fading from his sea-green eyes as he takes his last breaths. His soft grip on my wrist will grow even softer as he uses his last bits of strength to stay conscious, if only for a couple more seconds. 

The dagger in my hand will be sticky with his blood, and I will drop it. It won’t make any noise on the soft rug, and for that, I will be grateful. He will lean in and whisper his last words directly into my ear, for fear that in his condition, I won’t hear them.

I still love you.” He’ll say, and I’ll drop him from my support. His head will hit against the wood flooring, the small space unprotected by the crimson rug. 

Two days before then, he will come home from work upset, and I’ll hug him close, asking what’s wrong. 

He’ll tell me he didn’t get the promotion, tears threatening to spill from those sea-green eyes. I’ll swipe my thin fingers at them when they do, stroking them at his cheeks. We’ll eat dinner in the basement that day, our hands entwined while we watch some cheesy romance movie, pausing to laugh at stupid moments. 

The night before, somewhere between midnight and morning, I’ll get a call. It won’t wake him, though I’ll get a glimpse of sea-green when his eyes flutter. I’ll be groggy and fully awake at the same time, slowly walking to the kitchen where I’ll press the green ‘answer’ and speak a soft hello into the mic. 

Boss will say I have three days.

It will be hard, in the days before this, to smile. I’ll stutter and cry and wonder why. What he did, what we did to deserve this. 

He will know. 

He won’t say anything, I won’t say anything, but he’ll know, his hands just a little more sweaty than usual when I hold them, his focus on work a little bit less important. He’ll do things he’s never done before like braid my hair and take me on walks in the park. 

He’ll play with the ring on both of our fingers and absent-mindedly talk about the day we will put them on. He will know it’ll drive me nuts, but he won’t stop. His sea-green eyes will glisten with tears- and he’ll tell me they’re happy.

He’ll slowly stop looking me in the eyes, more focused on the curtains or the oven or the back window that opens into our messy backyard.

We should clean it,” he’ll say one day, staring at the brown grass and the odd leaf still there from November. I won’t reply. 

His birthday will be something strange. 

I don’t want a cake.” He’ll say, and this is when I’ll start to know he knows. I won’t ask him why, but I’ll buy him flowers instead. They’ll be chrysanthemums, six of them in all. He’ll put them by his bedside until they die, and since they’re store-bought, it won’t be too long.

The green of their petals will compliment his eyes, especially when they die, and I’ll tell him. He’ll smile, tucking a bud behind my ear. I’ll miss when life was so simple and sigh. We’ll play old music on the radio and dance like it’s 1900.

Days before this I’ll learn how to lie. 

I’ll learn how much it hurts on the inside, how hard it is to look right into his sea-green eyes and say “I’m fine.

It’ll get easier after that. 

My phone will feel like poison when I hold it, hot and filled with secrets. He won’t see that. He won’t notice, won’t care maybe. He’ll trust me too much to even consider anything like that a possibility. 

I will wonder how the sky will be so bright a blue, the sun so lightly shining, the trees so straightly standing when my life is falling apart. 

It won’t feel fair to have to hold burden after burden on my weak and fragile shoulders. I’ll live with it though. I always do. 

When the weather gets colder, I’ll complain. He’ll listen patiently, like he always does. He’ll buy me blankets, and we’ll cuddle underneath them, his calloused hands stroking my head. I’ll feel the overwhelming need to cry but I’ll hold it in, not wanting to ruin the moment. 

Everything will go so achingly slow and painfully fast at the same time. We’ll be running from time and tripping all over it all at once. 

My birthday will be the longest day yet. It’ll be a Monday, and he’ll have work. He’ll come home sweaty, without the car. 

I came as fast as I could- the car broke down,” he’ll say in between pants for breath. He’ll hold out a sweaty hand and inside it will be a rose. There’ll be small cuts on his hands from where the thorns would pierce it. I’ll drag him to the bathroom where I’ll patch his poor palms up and softly kiss the scars. His sea-green eyes will soften and I’ll thank him for the rose. 

I’ll return the favor on your birthday.” I’ll say, thinking of the flowers in our life.

At our wedding, the bouquet will be chrysanthemums. 

We’ll laugh that night about someone stealing the broken down car, and he’ll surprise me with cake. 

Everything will be light and happy. It’ll be nice, for a Monday. It’ll be before, still. 

Going even farther back, I’ll be moving into his little house, smiling so hard my cheeks will ache. I’ll drop my boxes into our room and take deep breaths in and out. He’ll kiss me on the cheek and ask how I like it. 

Now that you’re here? It’s wonderful.” 

We’ll share knowing smiles and decorate together. He’ll help me fold my clothes into the perfect little squares I like and we’ll hang our favorite pictures on the walls, making the space a little more cozy.

I’ll be just a little naive, a little hopeful. I’ll play with the gold band on my finger with the dates inscribed inside, swipe left and right on my phone. I won’t see anything coming. 

For now, though, I’m taking a little bit of a different route to work. 

I don’t go on the green light fast enough and someone’s car bumps into mine. It’s not too hard though, because whoever they are, they’ve tried to stop. I tap my fingers lightly against the steering wheel and unbuckle my seatbelt, walking slowly out of the car. I see the other person has done the same. He walks up to me. 

Are you alright? Anything hurt? I didn’t mean to bump into you, but you were a little slow at the light.”

I don’t respond for a moment, drinking in his features. 

The thing that stands out most is his eyes- a lovely sea green. 

Sorry, it’s my bad,” I say, and the future comes crashing down into me.

April 15, 2021 16:59

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

47 comments

Hey, were you really Bridget Summers? I don't believe it all yet. I'm asking here to confirm. Thanks.

Reply

Amany Sayed
17:08 Apr 19, 2021

Hi- I just looked through your comments. No, that's not me. Spread the word, please.

Reply

Thank you for telling me!!!! I don't trust that account.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

Oh haha, I came over here to tell her exactly that. Because there’s -0% chance Amany is Bridget, but she should know there’s someone impersonating her lol

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Jen Park
05:16 Apr 17, 2021

Wow. I didn't try on this prompt because I thought it would be the hardest. But you really nailed this! I loved how they were in future tense and the repetition of sea green eyes. I guess you liked that phrase very much :) I liked it too. Yeah like others said, it was a bit confusing in the end, I suggest you to put a sprinkle more of hint why they called her to kill her husband or fiance and some more of her internal conflicts. Anyway, I was amazed by the fact that you used the challenge of the prompt as an advantage to help you tackle ...

Reply

Amany Sayed
02:34 Apr 20, 2021

Thanks for the feedback!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

hey Amany, u doing ok lately? just checking in because of the bridget summers thing.

Reply

Show 0 replies
23:15 Apr 15, 2021

I LOVE THIS AMANY! You made the future tense seem not so formal, and the repetition of 'his sea green eyes' was so poetic :D GRATE 🧀🧀🧀 job!!! the end...:'( XD ~ Amethyst

Reply

Amany Sayed
02:34 Apr 20, 2021

Thanks a ton!

Reply

22:26 Apr 20, 2021

Np! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Sarah 🖤💖
20:25 Apr 15, 2021

Is this first-person? Third? I don't know, but I love the way you wrote this one. There was this eerie sense of dread throughout the story even though the things happening are supposed to be nice and sweet. Gj Amany!

Reply

Amany Sayed
02:34 Apr 20, 2021

First but it was going to be second. Thank you!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
17:23 Apr 15, 2021

:DDDDDDDDD wOnDErFuLL

Reply

Amany Sayed
02:34 Apr 20, 2021

:D

Reply

05:34 Apr 20, 2021

:)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
17:10 Apr 15, 2021

This is AMAZING! I love this story! At first seeing this prompt, I felt like the story would feel off-timed, or it wouldn't feel "finished" in a sense. But YET again, you proved me wrong :) I like the repetition of "sea green eyes". It feels like a mix of a long poem and a short story at the same time. The idea of this being the future she imagines also definitely fits with the story! Overall, great job! :D

Reply

Amany Sayed
02:34 Apr 20, 2021

Thank you!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Spense Long
12:08 Apr 21, 2021

This prompt was a tough one, but your story makes it work so elegantly. I like how you used the small things in life to really flesh out the relationship. Your prose is also so beautiful!

Reply

Amany Sayed
12:19 Apr 21, 2021

Thank you so much, I appreciate it :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Erick Carmona
04:14 Apr 21, 2021

Woah you really rose to the challenge of this prompt! I love the ache and desperation as it spirals backwards, emotions clashing with each other. It makes me feel lots of things! You did an incredible job. Small tip! When writing dialogue, make sure to end the quotation with a comma. "I don't want cake," he'll say... ^^^ that's the proper way to write it. Keep it in mind so your flow isn't interrupted~!

Reply

Amany Sayed
12:13 Apr 21, 2021

yay, thank you! Augh, I always mess my dialogue up in some way. Thanks for reading!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Cookie Carla🍪
19:09 Apr 20, 2021

Heyo!! Can you read my story "Sign of a Haunt"? It was the first story last week that I threw out because I had HORRIBLE Writer's Block😭. I think it turned out pretty great and I'd love to get feedback😅

Reply

Amany Sayed
12:13 Apr 21, 2021

Hey, I'll see if I can check it out!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

Hiiiiiii Sunny! So uhm I don’t know if you know who Bridget Summers is, but basically she’s this girl who copied Rachel’s stories and was kinda mean to SS too. Now she’s apologizing but she’s also claiming to be you, so just letting you know if you want to check that out... https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/bridget-summers/

Reply

Amany Sayed
17:09 Apr 19, 2021

Thanks for letting me know! Not me.

Reply

Haha! You're welcome!

Reply

Show 0 replies

Figured XD

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Kristin Neubauer
21:13 Apr 18, 2021

Wow! That is some story. I triple-awed .... the execution of it first. This is not an easy prompt and you came up with such a unique idea and unfurled it so well. Then, your willingness to even take on this prompt. But the writing! It was exquisite. You captured the wistfulness in her voice and the emotion between the two of the so perfectly.

Reply

Amany Sayed
02:33 Apr 20, 2021

Aw, thank you so much!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Mary Rothery
05:27 Apr 18, 2021

Late to the party here but I love this!

Reply

Amany Sayed
02:33 Apr 20, 2021

Thank you!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

UGH AMANY AFTER 68 STORIES I’M LITERALLY RUNNING OUT OF COMPLIMENTS TO GIVE Great imagery? Already said so. Stunning end? I’ve commented that, too. How the boundaries of your imagination literally don’t exist? I dunno if I’ve said that before but you’ve gotten the idea. HELPPPP STOP WRITING SO WELL I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE (But frr, this was so beautiful and seamlessly written. The imagery & emotion totally stood out.)

Reply

06:50 Apr 18, 2021

I KNOW RIGHT???

Reply

Show 0 replies
Amany Sayed
02:34 Apr 20, 2021

Psh, thank you ^^

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Radhika Diksha
18:49 Apr 16, 2021

A good descriptive plot. The ending is confusing like it doesn't match the beginning. And the murder of her husband or fiance is left unanswered. Which doesn't suit the flow. There where lot of emotions which couldn't stand out. Coming to the glass half full. The green eyes sounded poetic. The Romance felt real.

Reply

Amany Sayed
02:33 Apr 20, 2021

Thanks for the honest feedback!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Avani G
20:03 Apr 15, 2021

"I’ll be just a little *naive*, a little hopeful." *naïve* I'm guessing that she got a call saying she has to kill her boyfriend or else something bad will happen. The ending is great but also a little confusing. Maybe you can put the actual killing scene so that it kind of circles back to the beginning. I also think that instead of putting quotations AND italicizing the words, pick one. Otherwise, good job. I like the repetition of his "sea green eyes" and the ending is great. Keep it up :)

Reply

Amany Sayed
02:33 Apr 20, 2021

OH, thank you! Thanks for reading!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Elk Whistler
15:35 May 11, 2021

Whoa. That prompt was hard, but you made it flow so well! I especially love the last line. The story's so hypnotic and just... wow. I love your work! Thank you for writing it! -Elena

Reply

Show 0 replies
Elle Clinton
18:47 Apr 29, 2021

Nice job Amany! Loved the description using "Sea-green eyes!" Just a quick question...was the main character an assassin? Is that why she had to kill her husband that she claimed to have loved so?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Caroline B.
19:28 Apr 23, 2021

Hi! I really liked the use of the future tense. I didn't think of that at all but it works so well with the prompt. It makes the story even more mysterious and keeps you on your toes!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Gracie Farrar
20:08 Apr 22, 2021

Hello Amany! I really loved this story, especially the emotion that you put behind every word and action. It definitely, definitely tugged at the heart strings. I like the future tense that you use. it adds an element of suspense and reinforces the bittersweet tones, like both characters are working towards a life they will never get to have. Great job!

Reply

Show 0 replies