The Old Ones

Another day in the office, or the store would be the more correct term I suppose, can be a blessing or a curse.

“Michael!”

This screech from the manager is a sure signal this day is to be one of the not so blessed ones.

One foot barely behind the counter and jacket still half on, all I can do is respond with a smile, “Yes Mrs. Yates?”

“Where have you been?! The store has been packed since the doors opened! It’s chaos in here!” her face was red with fluster and her hair was reminiscent of something one sees on a rollercoaster.

“It’s 9:50, I’m scheduled to be here at 10 today.”

A simple enough response, right? Apparently not.

Her face grew even more crimson, though I hardly thought it possible seeing as how she already looked like an overripe tomato.

“You knew what today was!” she bellowed, causing customers nearby to look up startled. “You should have come in early. Where is your initiative?!”

I looked at her blankly for a moment, barely containing the sarcasm that immediately bubbled to the surface. Instead, I opted for a calm answer.

“Well, today was my off day. I did offer to come in to help out. I feel like that is initiative, is it not?”

Yet again, her faced darkened. You could almost see steam coming from her ears. She only stared at me in this fume for a moment before gritting her teeth and stomping off.

“Get to work!” she yelled back at me.

Yep, one of those days for sure. Why did I not just stay home with my dog? She is always happy with me.

Sucking in a deep breath, I threw my jacket under the counter and set off to work. Shelves to stock, remedial questions to answer. This was going to be one for the books. I’m still certain I have never seen a larger number of illiterate or just plain moronic people in one place. Every time I set to restock one area that had been ransacked, some little old lady or single mom would drag me off to another department to ask questions about any and every product.

“What exactly does this sound bar do?”

“Are these lightbulbs universal?”

“Will my plugins at home work with this vacuum?”

“Why isn’t this pack of chicken the same price as that one?”

It was all absolutely ridiculous. After a few hours of this, I nearly sprinted out the door for my first break. I smoked two cigarettes in the span of five minutes. These people had me so stressed out, my hands were trembling. If one more person asked if they could take something home and come back later to pay for it, I was going to lose this job.

Walking back in through the door, I was immediately met by an old lady that looked like someone had literally peed in her Wheaties.

“Young man,” her voice was shrill and loud. “Young man!”

It took all of my self-control not to yell back, seeing as how I was less than ten feet away from her.

“Yes ma’am?” I asked from behind an obviously forced smile.

“Young man can you tell me why the shelf for these new gamer things is empty?”

“Which things are you referring to ma’am?”

She scoffed loudly and rolled her eyes so hard I was certain they would get stuck looking at her last remaining braincells. What else could cause her to think I was clearly a psychic capable of knowing exactly what thing she was referring to in this huge store.

She looked at me pointedly for a solid thirty seconds before I said from behind gritted teeth, “Why don’t you show me the area you are referring to? Then I will be better able to help answer your question.”

“Fine,” she snapped and turned away to lean heavily on her already packed buggy.

I followed her for a few moments, agitated by this slow pace.

“Ma’am?” I said coming up beside her.

“What?”

“Would you like for me to push the buggy for you? It seems to be quite heavy.” I asked, gesturing toward the mountain of things stacked before her.

Her lip snarled up as if I had insulted her. “No, I would not.”

I just put my hands up in surrender and continued to walk slowly beside her.

Though I’m sure she thought she was muttering to herself, I could hear her say with disdain, “Young thug boy thinks he’s going to run off with my haul that easily. Psh. He has another thing coming.”

I reminded myself how much I did need my job and acted like I hadn’t heard her.

We finally made it across the store to the electronics department, where there were at least four other workers that I could see from where we stood. Of course, I got stuck with this rude old bag.

“Okay ma’am, now what shelf were you talking about?” I asked facing her.

She looked around for a moment before pointing at what was obviously, at least to a person with sense, just an empty wall.

“Ma’am, there is no shelf there. The gaming consoles and accessories aren’t in this area. They are a few isles down,” I told her slowly in hopes that she would just accept what I was saying, but, of course, no such luck existed.

“Are you calling me a liar?!” she exclaimed and grabbed at her chest.

I suppressed a sigh and responded simply, “No ma’am. I am only telling you that the gaming stuff is a few isles down. This is an empty wall where we set up displays.”

“No.”

I looked at her puzzled. No? I work here I know where things are.

Trying to remain composed I replied, “Yes ma’am. I would be more than happy to show you where the gaming area is if you would like.”

“No.”

My puzzled look began to slip away to irritation.

“Ma’am?”

“No, there was a gaming thingy here last week. I know because my grandson pointed it out and said he wanted it for Christmas.” Her voice was laced with stubborn resolve.

I knew exactly what she was referring to. I was the one that put up and took down the cardboard display, that had a picture of the new game system on it.

“Ma’am that was just a cardboard display to show that we would have that system available this week. There was never a game system just left out in the open like that. They are kept in locked glass display cases to prevent theft.”

“So, you’re calling me a liar again?!” her tone went up several octaves and made my ears hurt. “That’s it. I have had enough of you being rude and unhelpful. I want to speak to a manager or another floor boy.”

I started to snap back but thought better of it. I forced a fake smile that undoubtedly made me look crazy and said, “Sure lady, whatever you say.”

I left her standing there and quickly walked off in the direction of the managers office. They could deal with this crazy old lady.

I made it all of three isles away before an old man reached out and grabbed my arm.

“Excuse me son, could you possible show me where your tires are?”

The deep sigh escaped me before I could stop it. Tires? I wonder what display or ad this man had seen. Hurray only another five hours of this.