Dancing on the Bones

Lillian and Herb leaned over their third-floor balcony and admired the iconic sight of Diamond Head on the coast two miles west of their hotel. 

Herb said, “Well, there it is.”

Lillian said,” Looks just that scene in the intro of Hawaii Five-O.”

Their hotel was an Outrigger- classy, with modern tiki décor. The front desk greeters and staff were as nice as Canadians. The ocean beyond the beach below was swimming pool blue, sparkling with sun-pricks and sooo inviting.

“I’m dying to go for a swim,” said Lilian, turning away from the balcony. Smiling.

“I’ll put on my trunks.”

Just then a screeching, wailing scream arose from below. Another replied. Children. 

Lillian turned back to the balcony, her hands pressed to the sides of her head. “Aaaa! Oh come ON…!”

“AAAAAAEEEEEaaaiiii!” 

They groaned together. 

From the direction of Diamond Head came a parade of colorful, waddling, clamorous tourists, children running amok like bandleaders with their own agendas. Even the lovely turquoise water was soon spotted with white leisure craft of all sizes. The largest was a sixty-foot yacht with young people popping beers and yelling at each other to be heard over the din of their obnoxiously loud music.

Lilian’s face, normally quite lovely, was screwed into a mask of pure angst, her normally full lips a thin white line…her eyes drooped with despair. Even her perky curly auburn bob appeared wilted. She said, “I’m sorry honey…”

“Do not apologize. We should have stayed on Kauai. This sucks.”

“Maybe there’s another part of the island that’s not so touristy…”

“Let’s ask the front desk.”

Lillian changed into her emerald- green bikini and a cover-up and shorts. Herb thought, ‘The ‘teeny greeny.’ He reached out to her and pulled her to his erection. They kissed passionately.

“AAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAA!” Squealing laughter, more screams…pure hell.

Lillian broke their embrace. “C’mon, let’s find us a place away from…that…promise we’ll continue this when we’re alone…”

Herb kissed her neck. “Okay, wait a sec…can’t go down with this…” He pointed to the very noticeable tent in his shorts.

The dimly lit lobby it was much quieter, only one older couple were being helped. A second young woman behind the desk came forward to help them. She looked in her early twenties, her deeply tanned skin was flawless, and a scattering of freckles added to the youthful appearance. Her thick dark hair must have been butt length; it was coiled in a braided up-do complete with a white hibiscus. Her almond shaped eyes had an alien look, the irises as black as the pupils.  “How may I help you this beautiful morning in paradise? May I offer you a refreshing glass of champagne spritzer?”

Herb hesitated, Lillian over-rode him, “Why yes. I think I could use one of those. He’ll have one too.”

The petite woman, Ulani, her name tag read, bounced back through an archway behind the counter and came back seconds later with two plastic flutes of familiar pink bubbly elixir. It was the greeting drink they’d had when checking in.

Lillian polished off half of hers while Herb explained to Ulani what they had in mind. He took a sip of his flute as Ulani tapped the keyboard on the desk. The computer screen glow on her face flicked from pale blue, to dark, to bright again as she typed.

“Hmmm…” said Ulani. “How about a hot air balloon?”

Herb said, “Just us?” Lillian placed her empty flute on the counter, trading it for Herb’s nearly full one.

“Um, no, there’d be the operator with you at least…helicopter?”

Herb shook his head slowly. ”Hey, I have my safety certification, can I rent a boat around here somewhere?”

“Let me check.” Tappety-tappety-tappetty…tap. “You’re in luck. Haka-Iwi-O-Pele island has a yacht rental place with a small satellite office here on Oahu. Rhincodon Rentals. The office is 11692 Hwy 63, just past the Kualoa State Beach. Here you go.” She wrote down the name and address on Outrigger stationary and gave it to Herb. “I can call and make you a reservation. They have just one boat left, a smaller one…”

Lillian said, “That sounds perfect. Right honey?”

Herb said to Ulani, “Yes, could you call them? Tell them we’re on our way?”

She gave him a thumbs up and smiled beauteously. The wickedly white teeth in her deep rosy lips gave her a feral look, like a panther. “You got it. Is there anything else I can help you with?” 

Her tone was sultry to Lillian’s ears, a tiny alarm bell chimed in her head; she studied the young beauty’s eyes… eyes fixed on her husband’s. For a split-second they flashed green like the eyes of a cat in the night. She blinked and the woman was just an innocent ‘happy-to-please, just-doin-my-job’ type of girl again.

 ‘Perhaps those fruity drinks are more potent than I thought.’

An hour later, while filling out the forms at Rhincodon Rentals, which they found out was named for the great whale shark, Herb said to the man at the counter, “I’ve never heard of Haka-Iwa---”

“Iwi-O…Pele,” the grizzled clerk corrected grumpily. He’d obviously spent every waking hour since birth out in the sun, his dark face a roadmap accentuated with scraggly black facial hair peppered with grey. He looked to Lillian like the old fisherman guy in Jaws, only Hawaiian, but just as surly. He gave off the air of one who only tolerates white people.

Herb said, “Oh sorry, having a hard time with the names here…heh heh, you must hear that a lot.”

“Grunt.”

“Ahhhh…I’ve never heard of the island before…I’m assuming it’s one of those tiny dots…”

Another grunt as he turned around the last page and pointed to a line at the bottom, while pushing Herb’s gold AmEx card towards him.

Lillian nudged her husband. Clearly the man was not the sociable type, twas odd that he run a touristy type of business. But he hadn’t been the first of his kind and, as before, Lillian turned on the smiles to a sickenly sunny, air-headed ‘Cali-surfer-tude.’ As before, Herb blushed and finished the transaction silently and as quickly as he could.

While Herb finished loading the boat, Lillian again tried to pull up the island on Google Maps. The five main islands came up, their names prominently displayed. When she tried to open the screen to zoom in on the mystery dots, the screen went white and displayed the aggravating ‘server lost’ message.

“Don’t worry honey, Ole Smiley reassured me the GPS on the boat is programed to sail to the island and back, like on autopilot. It’s an adventure! On autopilot! Whoo-hoo!”

“That sounds like an oxy-moron.” But she couldn’t help smiling too.

Ninety minutes later, the shiny snow-white boat flew over the sapphire waters of the deep, the bow sending up sparkling silver sprays as they topped the waves then splashed down through them. The little boat was fast. They were excited to reach Haka-Iwi-O-Pele with plenty of time to explore and…you know.

Lillian was grinning like a dog with its head out the window of a car. Herb was smiling broadly too, as he excitedly pointed out the local ocean life: there the fins of six dolphins, he thought they were called a pod, and there a school of flying fish, sailing ten to twenty feet above the surface for great lengths before diving back in at such an angle they made barely a ripple. She looked back as the last of the sleek silver fish flashed out of sight as was startled to see the horizon behind them was dark. As she watched, lightening flashed in the fat dark bellies of the clouds like wicked indigestion. “Um Herb…”

“Look at tha---”

“HERB!”

“wha---” he turned his head. “Holy shit! What the hell?”

“It’s coming fast. Where’s that fucking island?”

The way before them was still bright and clear, though an unusual frosty wind had picked up, churning the waves into white-caps. The motion of the little boat on the ever-escalating waves made it hard to see, but he thought he saw a speck of dark rock on the horizon. There…gone…there…gone…

“HERB! What the fuck?! It’s coming fast!”

“I think I see it! Maybe three miles, maybe more, hard to tell…”

In a flash the entire blue sky was snuffed out by a dense, heavy cloud cover as thick as a woolen Afghan, and dreadfully as dark as day after the sun has set. The lightning bolts were close enough for them to hear the sizzle as they struck into the ocean. Their damp hair grew weightless as is frizzed from their scalps and the intense ozone atmosphere assailed their noses.

Herb struggled to keep the bow perpendicular to the waves, but it was a losing battle, for the waves rose high over all sides of the boat, rocking it to nearly ninety-degree angles back and forth. The speck had grown but not as fast as they needed.

Lillian threw up over the railing. One second, she felt the warm spray of her vomit on her neck and chest, in the next, a chilly splash of sea water rinsed it off.

A face loomed out from the clouds. Big as a skyscraper, and female. The clouds around her swirled like hair, it piled over her shoulders like veils, from the most solid veil an arm emerged and from her hand…

…a blinding bright bolt, as thick as Lilian’s arm, struck the tallest antenna on the boat and sparks fire-worked down, fizzling out all around her. She screamed. She felt the boat catch air, like the Dukes of Hazzard’s car did inevitably in every episode. Then she was under the ocean. She held her breath until she ascended to the surface. The boat was canted on its side, sinking, slowly laying down. A nylon rope scraped against her face. ‘Yellow!’ The Safety rings were tethered by those. ‘There!’ She pulled the rope towards her and unsnagged the ring from rope. She hung on for dear life. At each crest she looked around frantically for Herb, sobbing, and blowing gobs of snot out of her screaming mouth.

Something heavy struck her in the back of her head. It was metal and made a sound like a gong. She sank against the Styrofoam ring.

She woke and was lounging in a padded chaise at the edge of the surf on a white sand beach under a cerulean sky dotted with merrily drifting white puffballs. The ocean was blue-green, the gently curling rolls of waves not surf-worthy but very inviting. She sipped a red concoction from a curvy glass and felt the tingle of dark rum on her tongue. She set the drink in the shade of her chaise, deciding a swim was in order. She stood and cool water lapped gently around her ankles. She took a step…the ground disappeared from under her. ‘Splash!’

She pushed herself up out of the water, choking and gagging and coughing. The sky and beach and ocean were just as her dream, but there was no lounge chair…and ‘aaah man’, no rum cocktail. The black and white motes that dotted her vision cleared at last. There was a pile of seaweed a hundred yards down the beach. It moved like an exhausted sea lion sunning after a long journey. Its belly was pale.

“Herb…” she croaked.

She got to her hands and knees and tried again, “Herb!” She crawled to him like an infant. “HERB!”

The limp figure turned her way and rose onto an elbow. “Lil…” He coughed. She reached him and they held each other tight, both sobbing.

He said, “I’m burning up.”

She studied him. Half his face was badly sunburnt. She said, “Over there,” pointing to what looked like a dense jungle with deep cool shadows. He got to his hands and knees, she steadied herself with her hands on his back and found she could stand. 

In the shade they looked up and down the beach.

Lillian said, “Well, we got what we asked for. There’s no one here.”

“You feel up for a hike?”

“I’d love to stretch my bones…see what’s up with this place. Find a hotel…a phone.”

Herb pointed out to the horizon. “The suns behind us so that’s east. I’d say it must be about four or five.” He stood and she took his hand for a pull up.

They followed the shore until they were facing directly towards where the sun was now low on the horizon. Nature was showing off again, painting another Hawaiian masterpiece with her flaming fingers. Halfway to the west coast they’d found a fast-flowing stream emptying into the ocean. While climbing over the field of lava rock, they’d spied in the tidal pools sea urchins and oysters; they wouldn’t starve.

They sat and watched the sun darken to egg yolky yellow. As they watched, clouds gathered over the sun’s bed, growing from purple to black as the light diminished. 

Herb said, “Another storm?”

“No. Look. Are you seeing that?”

The clouds swirled black and bruise colored, twisting together and solidifying. From the center emerged a face. Her.

“I’ve seen her before…she hurled lightening at the boat. At us.” She cuddled as close as she could to Herb without actually crawling into him.

He whispered into her hair, “If she meant to kill us, she would have then.”

From under his armpit she muttered, “Greeeat.”

The face had solidified but her features were unclear in the dark. Her black-hole eyes flashed green.

Lillian thought, ‘I’ve seen that before…’ But before she could rifle through her memory, the goddess’ mouth opened and formed an O. From it jetted a lightning bolt, green tinged, and crackling softly. It wasn’t aimed at them, however, it hurtled into the foliage to their left.

The goddess smiled. Then her features softened and melded with the swirling clouds of her hair. Like time-lapse photography, she folded into herself and was simultaneously whisked away.

The couple stared into the jungle.

Lillian said, “Herb. I’ve seen---”

“Shhh. Listen.”

The soft crunching of leaves was punctuated by sharp cracks as twigs, perhaps bamboo, snapped. Footsteps. And the gentle shushing noise of someone parting greenery from their path.

The bamboo stalks softly rapped together like wind chimes as the ferns beneath them parted. A black silhouette wafted towards them, gradually taking the shape of a woman as she grew nearer. The moon had risen while the couple were distracted, and though not full, it was bright in this primal darkness, as were the billions of stars. By its light they saw she wore only a simple sarong and a thick wealth of green leafy leis around her neck and over her breasts. Her dark hair hung to her bottom.

As she neared, she pointed at the sand ten feet from their toes. There was a neat little teepee of logs there. She knelt and raised her hand before her with the flare of a magician, up popped a wooden match. She struck it against the pile and it lit. Within seconds the kindling flamed and a neat little fire ensued. 

Lillian said, “I know you. You’re Ulani.”

Herb’s face swiveled to his wife then back to the woman. Lillian was right. It was her.

The beautiful petite woman laughed and sat ten feet from them. “Actually, that one you saw in the sky is me, I am a goddess.”

“You’re Pele?!” Herb said incredulously.

“AAAAAAAHHHH! Pooh! NOT Pele!” Wind swirled and flew violently around them. The fire would have been extinguished had it not rose in a column ten feet tall.

Lillian said quickly, “You’re her sister! The water spirit!”

The flames lowered and the winds subsided immediately. She said, “So you have heard of me then?”

Herb said, “I’ve only heard of Pele. Goddess of Hawaii’s volcanos…destroyer and creator of land…”

Lilian bludgeoned his side with her elbow and hissed, “You really don’t understand women, do you?”

The woman who was Ulani in human form nodded to Lillian and said, “men.” She shrugged then asked her, “You know of me then?”

Lillian said, “Well, I’ve read some locally written stuff, at the museum on The Big Island. But mostly it’s all Pele’s life. I’m white.  It’s hard to pronounce your name…”

Na-maka-o-Kahai  “phffffd” arrogantly. “I am greater! She got all the fanfare! Pele this and Pele that…I DESTROYED HER!!! Her damn bones are buried here, under the volcano. This island is Haka-Iwi-O-Pele. Is my island. The name means ‘dancing on the bones of Pele.’

She controlled fire and the volcanos. Water is more powerful. I proved it when I quenched her damn volcanos and laid her bones to rest. Pele Pele Pele. Argh.” Her fists balled as her feet tamped the sand. A child having a tantrum.

Lillian thought to herself, ‘Marsha Marsha Marsha…’

Herb said, “What do you want from us?” He cringed but no blow came.

Before Na-maka-o-Kahai could answer, Lillian said, “You want recognition. To be worshipped. Like your sister.”

The young woman before them nodded silently, glowing tears of icey-blue trailed down her cheeks, illuminating her face.

Lillian said, “I hear you. And feel for you. I promise to worship you and spread your name to all I know. Herb will write an article for you for our local paper.”

“You’re not just saying that?”

“Come on. We’ve seen your power firsthand. We’re believers! Pele is dead. And though I find it sad that you dance on her bones, you've made your point. We will forever worship you and be in your debt for letting us live.”

Na-maka-o-Kahai laughed. Then she said, “Cool. Anytime you wish to leave, the portal back to Oahu is in the volcano and through it.” She pointed to the center of the island. Then she noted the grimace on Lillian’s face and said, “I can alter the path so that you end up on Kauhi instead?”