My hearts a maze

we are the Abadi family ‘we fight for love’. Mama thinks it’s a blessing, she says we make our love eternal by fighting for it. My elder brother khalid thinks it’s a curse, he says he can’t be bothered. I think he says that because it sounds cool, deep down he’s just as mushy as the rest of us.

  We are the Abadi family we fight for love, each one of us, it doesn’t come to us easily, we don’t just bump into strangers and fall in love. We don’t know who we will fall in love with, and if we do know the person, we don’t know we’ll fall in love with them until its time.

 When the time comes something happens, something mysterious and magical occurs, a kind of test none of us can explain, each one unique.

 Mama doesn’t say much when I ask, she just smiles. I know my cousin Amal turned into a bird and took flight, when he came back home, he met Meenah.

That’s how we are bizarre, crazy and unexplainable.

 ……………………

“Jameelah go out and get the kittens!” Mama yells from the kitchen. I stand up abruptly and look outside the window, when in the world did the sky turn black.

I was lost in thought so long I dint even realize.

“Jameelah!” mama calls again

“I’m going mama” I call back.

Outside the air is warm and the moon looks lovely, the kind of night you fall in love with or in. I walk towards the bushes. A breeze goes over me and I hear the leaves on the tree rustle. I feel the hair on my neck prickle and slowly start to rise for no apparent reason my heart begins to beat faster. That’s when I hear it, a whisper meant for me, so low and delicate as if the words were breathed onto my skin ‘Are you ready my darling’

 ………………

‘follow the slant of the rain

Until the clouds have departed

Ask the wind to steer you right

Now your journey has started’

The cold rain hits me the moment I step outside. Everyone at home is sleeping but I can’t go back ever since the dream woke me up.

  ‘follow the slant of the rain’ I repeat. I walk towards my bicycle. Strange as it might sound to you, I know the dream is real, when you grow up surrounded by the supernatural you just expect it. I know the time has come for me to fight for love

 ………………….

I did ask the wind to steer me right, but I never expected to find myself standing in front of a tall hedge which extends for miles and miles on eighter side of me. There is a small circular opening. I peer inside. Its pitch black I can’t see a single thing.

        I know I need to enter, because I can feel the wind gently pushing me in the back. I take a deep breath and step in before I can think too much.

    Immediately the dark veil lifts. It’s no longer dark and I can see that I’m standing at the entrance of a maze.

I need to figure out which way to go but I need some instructions. I can’t just be thrown into a maze and expect to know what to find and how.

        it’s as if the maze has heard me. A chorus of voices begin to sing.

         ‘we hold the one your heart desires

         He lives within our midst

         If you're brave enough to find your lover

         Then enter at your risk’

The song ends as abruptly as it started, and I still don’t know what to do. What happens if I get lost? what happens if I make a wrong turn?

    I hug myself tightly and look towards the path on eighter sides of me. The right and then the left. Which one do I choose?

Just as last night there is a breeze that brushes down my neck and over my arms.

 ‘be careful my darling, every right turn leads to desire and every wrong turn leads to dread.’

‘Every right turn leads to desire’ I whisper. My hands bunch the fabric of my hoodie and I take the right path.

 Immediately the air surrounding me changes, though the ground and hedge walls don’t. there is a cold dry sweet harmattan air that smells like toasted bread and old memories.

    Harmattan is one of my favorite times of the year. I take a deep breath and the air seems to have a healing effect on me. It’s going to be alright. I know.

      In front of me are 3 pathways, what lies ahead is unknown. The harmattan air blows towards the first pathway and the leaves on the hedge rustle. So, I walk through it.

 Just like before there is a change. Is step into the middle of a color wild village. All around me are beautiful yellow and white cottages with different colored roofs. In front of the houses are gardens filled with flowers of all colors swaying in the breeze.

  There are bakeries and shops displaying beautiful goods and delicious looking cake.

  The whole village is a bustle of activity as people move to and FRO calling to each other.

  Bells ring as people step in and out of shops. Children run around laughing.

For a moment I am so mesmerized. I just stop and stare. This is so unlike a maze, where am I supposed to go next.

  A bell rings and a boy with curly hair rides past me on his red bike.

 “Hello there” he calls breezily as he passes by

 “Hello” I reply a little out of breath.

The boy moves a bit farther before he stops. He quickly turns his head around and stares at me with an open mouth.

   “its you!” he says and then he breaks into the biggest smile I have ever seen. He drops the bike and turns towards the village.

 “She’s here! Everybody! Jameelahh!” he yells his hands going up and down.

 People turn and look at us breaking off their conversations and stopping in mid-walk.

“What’s going on?” I whisper. Taking a step backward. I feel a bit of fear creeping into my chest. But its only for a moment because just as suddenly it is taken over by surprise.

   The people have started singing and dancing and cheering to each other.

    “she’s here, she’s finally here”

The boy with curly hair turns towards me and smiles. It’s a comforting smile.

 “what’s happening?” I ask him. His smile grows wider

 “we have been waiting for you for a long time, you’re the one who will finally set us free”

“from the maze? How am I going to do that?” I ask

“by falling in love with our captor” he replies

“who is he?”

“Zaire” he replies hollowly he is no longer smiling.

 Zaire, he sounds dangerous and wicked especially if he captured all these people and kept them in a maze. How can I fall in love with someone like that?

“jameelah” a lady says

I look up to see a chubby, rosy looking lady smiling at me. She’s wearing a red polka dotted dress which flutters as she rushes up to me.

 She folds her arms out and engulfs me in a hug without waiting. Smells like bread and rose water.

 She releases me and smiles.

“Hello” I say a little uncertainly

“hello, my love, hello” her hands flutter up and down in excitement “Ahhh, your just as beautiful as the story said” she looks towards my clothes and frowns” oh, but we can’t let you wear that! you have to win the heart of a monster”.

I look down at my hastily thrown on hoodie and pajama pants.

“I dint bring anything else to wear” I tell her

 She smiles wide and links her hand through mine

“My daughter is the best dressmaker; she has already made your gown”

…………..

The lady lives just behind a cottage in one of the beautiful vines covered houses.

 The inside is cozy and warm with a wild assortment of furniture in a wild assortment of color.

 She rushes towards and armchair and removes a purple-colored fabric from it.

“That my daughter, she thinks the whole house is her studio. please sit” she says indicating towards the chair.

I smile “thank you”.

The lady moves towards the stairs and disappears upstairs.

 I look around at the beautifully illustrated carpets and the knitted red mantel covering. There is a glass vase on the table filled with pink roses. I look down at my armchair and I am surprised to see a pink rose underneath which is a paper.

 I pick up the rose, and it suddenly dissolves into ashes. I turn the paper around and written there I see

“where there are roses, there is water

 Where there is water, fire won't follow

                            Careful my darling”

I put the paper down and look around. Is this some kind of riddle or is it a clue? How did it get here? What is this place.

I hear the lady and her daughter coming down the stairs.

“yes mama, of course it is in perfect condition” I hear a voice that must be the daughter.

They come into the living room, the lady’s daughter is tall and dark and beautiful. She squeals with delight when she sees me, and just like her mama she soon engulfs me in a hug.

 “oh! the dress is going to look perfect on you. Yes, somehow I just knew it would” she says as she steps back places her hands on my shoulder and inspects me. “ohhh I cannot wait, follow me” she says pulling me along.” let’s get this party started”.

……………

20 minutes later I’m staring at my reflection unable to believe I’m the same person that left my house at dawn this morning.

 I’m wearing a gown with no other description except magical.

It fits me perfectly in the best possible way. And it is made of everchanging colors displaying all the shades of the ocean. It is light and flutters and ripples on its own creating the impression of waves. The sleeve and collar are made out of a shimmering soft and delicate material as if you were looking through a clear lake.

  “wow!” I whisper to the lady and her daughter who look at me with awed faces “it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen!” I tell the girl sincerely.

 She smiles “I know, now turn around and let me do your hair.”

She braids it into a crown around my head.

 “beautiful” the lady says “but give me one minute, I’ll be right back” she turns and hobbles down the stairs.

When she comes back, she’s carrying a bunch of lilies in her hand. She pins them into my head.

“perfect” she says when she’s done.

I look at myself one final time before we leave. My ever-changing gown portraying the emotions of the ocean, and the Lillie’s on my hair an illusion of light and innocence.

…………

“according to our story, we are supposed to lead you to the far end of the town and then you have to pick your path from there” the tall girl says

 I nod at her, but I’m a bit distracted by all the attention we are receiving. People have parted a way for us to walk through and they keep on. Marveling and cheering. Once or twice a few over excited person will rush up to kiss me on the check or hug me hurriedly.

 I try my best to smile pleasantly at them but I’m bubbling with nervousness on the inside.

What if the stories got it wrong? and I can’t fall in love with the monster.

What if I get lost? this is a maze after all.

We come to a stop in front of an old vine covered wall with 3 identical wooden doors. It looks as if it has been there for a very-very long time.

 I turn around and face the lady and her daughter and the entire village that has trailed along.

“does the story say which door I pick?” I ask

The lady shakes her head “no, you have to choose it yourself”

I look at the doors, they each look the same, crusty wooden and brown with silver gleaming handles. There is no indication that shows which one to choose. I look down, there is a tiny slit beneath the doors.

 I bend down and check beneath the first door. Its pitch black as I expected. The second door is the same.

 However, beneath the third door there is a faint glimmer of light. I stand up

“I’m going to choose this door” I tell the lady.

 She nods seriously. I turn towards the people

“Goodbye, I’m going to try my best” I say I turn towards the lady and her daughter “thank you”

They both smile kindly, and the lady reaches out her hand and fixes one of the flowers in my hair.

 I walk towards the last door but before I go, I turn and wave at all the people looking at my departure expectantly.

 They smile and wave and some even cheer. I turn back.

 Before I know it, I’ve pulled the door open and stepped in. only after do I realize none of them told me their names.

……….

I scream because I’ve stepped into hell. There is fire on all sides of me Raging. The smoke it emits is so thick I can barely see. Dread.

 I run, escaping the flames as they try to attack me, I run around a bend. There is a ball of fire that is hurling straight towards my head. I duck as fast as I can, crying out loud.

That could have been my head.

 Think I tell myself, as I run not knowing where. There has to be a solution.

I need to find water. Roses!!, Roses. I remember

“where there are roses, there is water

 Where there is water, fire won't follow

                            Careful my darling”

I have to find roses. I have to run.

I run, searching but I can’t see anything. Will a rose really survive this fire?

 The smoke is so thick, and my head is so foggy I can’t think ... I think I’m going to faint. I can’t! I’ll die if I do.

I stumble and cough I can’t stop coughing.

I fall to my knees; I have to get up! I slowly stand onto shaking legs.

 I don’t want to die but the smoke Is getting worse, and my head is too heavy.

 I feel a drizzle on my face, my eyes open. There in front of me is a rose that is being rained on.

 I run as fast as I can carrying my trailing gown I run until I can see the rose clearer, I run until I can feel the cold of the rain I run and run until suddenly I fall. I fall out. I’m back to where I started. The rain that hits my face is the rain of the morning. But I’m not alone.

 He’s there and I know its him. He’s dressed in all black. Black coat, black trousers black shirt. He holds out his hands to me. But I can’t take it I’m to mesmerized to even process it. He is breathtaking, and that is saying something seeing as I just survived a fire.

  Dark hair the same black as his coat, eyes the color of my gown. Never stable swirling in the same way as the ocean. He seems to be structured perfectly. How is that even possible? How is his nose so straight, His eyebrows so slashed?

“Hey darling” he says voice rough.

I have to stop staring, he’s a monster remember. I blink.

“who the hell caused that fire” I say with as much intensity as I can muster

He smiles, it's soft, yet he’s eyes still hold their intensity.

“look behind you” he says kindly.

I do. The maze has disappeared

“what does this mean” I say suspiciously “those people…that village”

“They were all my creation”

“what” I swivel around to face him again.

He sighs “the only person you were saving was me, I have been trapped as a maze for as long as time, everyone you saw along the way every sensation was me leading you along. You see only you would have been able to set me free”

“then why did you make the people say you were their captor? Why did you send a fir after me if you wanted me to save you” I say not able to get my head around all of this?

“Because I am, I am Zaire, the monster.” He smirks “each and every person you saw, was someone I have harmed during my lifetime. Why do you think I got trapped into a maze? Good people don’t get treated like that.”

I frown “and the fire?”

“look at yourself” he says as he does as well

I look down “don’t you think a person who has battled through a fire would look worse”

I look exactly like I did when I first saw myself in this dress. Suddenly I feel shy.

“Darling, why do you think I made you a dress made out of water” I look away, there something about the depth in his eyes. He smiles.

Come on love I got a world to explore. And he holds out his hands again. This time though I take it not eve knowing why.