A Series of Unfortunate Events

It was approximately 9:00 pm when I finally pulled into my driveway after a long day of work and dinner with my coworkers. Today had been a good day. It was nice to go out and to top it off, my project that I had been working on for over five weeks was ready to present.

I sat in the car for a few moments holding my keys in hand. As I was thinking about the day’s events, I gazed at the white rabbit’s foot my sister had given to me a few years ago. The keychain showed many signs of wear and tear, but I had always felt like it was my good luck charm, so I let it remain on my keyring. Who would notice it’s barely hanging on by a thread anyway. 

Exhausted, I carefully got out of the car and tried not to drop my purse, several work folders, and left overs from dinner and went straight to bed. I had an important presentation for our bimonthly staff meeting to discuss what to incorporate into the next quarterly edition of Scientific Discoveries. After being on the sideline for the last few years, this was finally my opportunity to shine. 

***

I woke up the next morning feeling rested. I turned over to look at the time. The clock read 8:07 am. 8:07am! My alarm should have gone off an hour ago! I immediately sprung out of bed and rushed to get dressed. Luckily, the night before, I had lain out a professional looking outfit. It was a nice black pant suit and a soft pink silky camisole. Unfortunately, as soon as I put it on and bent down to grab my shoes, I heard and felt an intensely loud rip in the back of my pants. Great, of course I would split my pants on such an important day. Instead, I wore a ruffled white blouse and a pencil skirt. Already running late for work, I quickly grabbed some food and a cup of Joe for the road. As I raced down the street to get onto the main road I thought, “Finally, smooth sailing. I might actually make it to work on time.” About half way to the magazine headquarters, I found myself practicing my speech, stopping every few seconds to sip my coffee. I felt that the rest of my day would turn out better. 

Suddenly, from my peripheral, I saw a cyclist lose control and swerve into my lane. Immediate my foot slammed on the breaks and attempted to veer away from the cyclist. The grumpy cyclist gave me the finger and rode off as if it were my fault for being in the driver’s lane. My hands trembled and heart pounded. At least I didn’t kill the guy. And that’s when I realized my shirt felt warm and wet. I looked down to find a nice brown stain all the way down my white blouse. The one day I don’t keep the lid on my coffee cup I spill all over myself. Classic. 

Approximately 10 minutes later, I arrive at the magazine headquarters. I grab my keys and get ready to open the door. Wait a minute, where’s my rabbit’s foot? It must have fallen off. With no time to perseverate over my lost good luck charm, I raced into the building, project in tow. While waiting for the elevator, I glanced at the clock on the wall-9:45 am. The meeting started at 9:00 am. Maybe I would make it to the tail end of the meeting and still be able to present my ideas for the summer issue of Scientific Discoveries. To my dismay, when I reached my designated floor, I could already see everyone piling out of the meeting room all the way from the elevators. I stood there and gazed, allowing my eyes to water a little bit. 

“Alice Gainey! In my office now!” Feeling defeated, I slowly walked into my supervisor’s office. 

“What is going on with you? You’re late, you missed your opportunity to present your ideas, and worst of all, you have a coffee stain the size of Manhattan down your shirt! It looks extremely unprofessional and makes me look bad too.”

At a loss for a plausible explanation, I managed to squeak out, “Just an unlucky day I guess.” Not surprisingly, Boss Ratched was not satisfied with that answer. 

“Go home. Take the rest of the week off to get yourself together…and don’t expect this to be paid leave. Get it together or get fired. Got it?”

“Loud and clear. I am sorry ma’am; it won’t happen again.”

“Good, now get out of my sight.”

Instead of driving home, I traveled to my favorite park, Humiston Park. The atmosphere of the park always made me feel better on a bad day. I sat down on the nearest bench and started to cry. I cried until my tears ran dry. With a few sniffles here and there, I stared at the ground and thought about my day. I could see a shadow of a bird flying above me, swooping around as if it was enjoying the freedom. Suddenly, it came to my attention that something warm and wet hit the top of my skirt. Fantastic. First, I ripped my pants, then spilled coffee all over my expensive blouse, and now a bird has delightfully shit on my skirt. 

“Could this day possibly get any worse!” I yelled out to no one in particular. 

“Bad it is, worse it could be”. 

Huh? I turned around to see who was speaking to me. He was a short old guy, badly balding, and was wearing the most ridiculous brown gown that could easily pass as a potato sack stolen out of the dumpster. 

“Who are you?”

“Young I am not, wise I am.”

“What are you, like the next generation Yoda or something?”

“Help I give to those with no luck.” He walked around the bench and sat next to me. He reached into his potato sack gown and pulled out something white and fuzzy. He handed it to me and said, “rabbit’s foot it is, luck it will bring.”

As suddenly as he appeared, he stood up and walked away. For a moment, I watched him hobble away only to see him ungraciously trip over his own feet and fall flat on his face. He sat up and shouted “Okay I be!” Then continued to hobble away. Clenching my new rabbit’s foot, I left the park for home. 

As I went to unlock my front door, my eye caught something white and fuzzy sitting in the dirt and slightly hidden beneath a bush. It was my lucky rabbit’s foot! Eagerly, I picked it up, wiped off some of the dirt and walked into my house with a large smile on my face. It looks like my streak of bad luck has finally run out.