Fiction Thriller Adventure

I was gazing through the office’s window, which covers most of this city, giving me the perfect view over this doomed place. 

“I can see every moving, breathing creature from up here,” I said that out loud even though im the only one in the room.

With the night drawing near and the dying sun making shadows all over this depressed city, instantly switching the mood from energetic and happy to gloomy and haunted. 

Concerned locals closed all their shops, leaving to their houses as early as any of them can. 

The cops gathered the usual night watch, and started moving down the city with their dogs and shrill whistles seeking any person they pass by, “return to your houses before the overnight curfew sounds.”

Repeating those lines in every corner and making sure everyone is home before the dark fully embraces the place.

This is right now a part of my daily routine, observing people for high up here waiting for the dark to hit so I can start working.

The city council called for us after this week’s riots. A group of fanatics gathered around the city causing trouble for the local city cops.

These aggressive behaviors haven't been new to us, since the dreary day the government executed that deviant. The sole unusual thing is the overwhelming numbers they gathered this time. 

The door knocks cutting my line of thoughts and my assistant enters saying “Sir, we got information from the eyes we planted around the city that confirms the rumors.”

“I guess it is time for us to make our move then,” said it with a cheerful face. The moment I turn to face her, my skin crawls from the dead look she gives from her sunken eyes. I shrink in my clothes saying "yeah!"

She is ten years younger than me, a trainee who makes me look like a spoiled child in her presence.

We moved cautiously into the location sent to us by our informer. The place was just some ruins under the east side bridge.

“The informer claimed that the small extremist group he followed came in here to this area, but he didn’t dare to face check the place and knowing the limits, he backed off,” said my assistant.

It looked like a dead-end to me until one officer shouted “come, take a look at this.”

I sprinted to the location the officer pointed for me from up the bridge, just to see an entrance between the rubble and it was more like a sinkhole than a proper entrance.

We merely needed some ropes to go down there. 

And with the mightiest men of this city’s night watch and my assistant, we went in using handheld flashlights and pistols.

Only the brave can walk these dark hollowed holes. With no light but ours and no sound but the one that comes with every drop of water, coming from the cracked ceiling of this dreadful place.

After a half-hour walk in the absolute dark one of the men at the lead came to me saying “we found a muddy hill slide .. it doesn’t go that deep though .. should we proceed sir?” 

“We didn’t come all this way to back off now. I’ll take the lead from now on.” saying those words felt so satisfying, I needed that emotional boost, for this city was killing my soul.

I turned to my assistant saying” stay behind me.”

We went down that slide one by one, spacing out between us, so we don't get caught off guard. 

Down there was a narrow entrance that can barely fit a person at a time.

On the other side of that thick narrow wall, we entered a room with a weird glow coming from its very end.

Proceeding toward that illuminated area we discovered a shattered door, camouflaged by that same shining light.

Entering the place got us shocked, all those fanatics gathered around a big circle with a pale-looking lady in the middle chanting weird incantations, with every word she speaks my skin itch. The place suddenly got cold, I felt my blood freezing inside my veins. I turned to my group, their eyes were wide open, I heard their teeth clicking, my assistant’s face was ashen.

I whispered to the group ordering them to gather and lie low behind the rock next to us.

After a few moments of dead silence that cover this chilling room, the only voice was that of that lady, in her weird tongue she raised her voice for a couple of words, and the air tightened for a second as if the room was shutting the walls on us like a book, then the air loosened. The fanatics moved out to the entrance in small groups. We stayed hidden till they all got out, then we moved out.

I asked a couple of the men with me to stay behind and watch if any of those fanatics return, and the rest to follow me, and with shaky legs, we slowly moved in between the rocks they used to sit on.

“You are surrounded lady, don't make any stupid moves,” I said with a trembling voice, “my friends here aren’t thrilled with what you and your group of followers have done so far” I added. 

The lady turned around; we did not faze her whatsoever.

She looked at me with her deep blue eyes and spoke in a low-pitched voice “do you believe, that you have a chance of catching me.”

I replied “that's my job, so yeah miss. I’ll appreciate the cooperation”

She giggled then added, “I’m impressed for your ability to throw jokes knowing your situation.”

She comes near me in slow steady steps” I’ll come with you, I’m eager to see the fresh live reaction you will give moments from now when the show starts.”

She walked two more steps then added “I won't resist, you don't have to be afraid of me.”

Even tho she looked frail and weak, I couldn’t trust her, or get over the fact that she radiates terror.

But knowing that my city is facing its biggest catastrophe, in a couple of hours. With the chances of us winning are so close to nonexistent, I was determined to overcome my fear and fight this lost battle for the sake of this doomed land and the people leaving in it.

March 19, 2021 14:51

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Nirmila Lall
15:04 Mar 26, 2021

The overall storyline is good but I think it lacks cohesiveness. Perhaps you should elaborate more about the deviant, the fanatics, and the riot. Just my two cents worth.


Anes Nia
11:20 Mar 27, 2021

Hi Nirmila, I appreciate your honest review. You see I'm planning on working on this story from two different perspectives, for the most part, posting a short every week to progress the main storyline. I don't know if it's gonna be good at the end, but I hope you like it!


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