Imagined in Mind

Yes! Yes, Yes!! Yes, Yes, Yes!!! I started with Yes for a reason. I started saying yes because I was very happy to share this so you too can say Yes as well. I was dreaming in colors, yes vivid colors of all different shapes and forms. I was dreaming or so I thought I was.

Dreams can be vague or vivid, easily forgotten or easily remembered. Dreams can have a meaning, multiple meanings or no meaning at all. They can be of one thing or event, can start suddenly or end suddenly, In my mind's eye, I visit the subconscious after I have visited the conscious. Wow oh wow, what trip to places I ay or may not have been to before, have visited them once, visited them more than once, yet may never vist them again. What a whole lot of descriptions to explain in one hollow breath.

I can never really describe what being there can mean or "paint" you a visual verbal picture, unless you will go into a dream-coma like state of mind and share the journey with me. I want to show you what has been, show you what is being, and show you even what may or may not be. It can be scary or traumatic, can be soothing or frightful. It can leave you speechless or talkative endlessly. It can even leave you wanting more or wanting less.

"Why would I want to include you. you of all people, in my own demented and twisted train of thought"? "Why would I want you, yes you, to be part of that which makes you more aware of all that may or may not matter to me or to anyone else"?

Funnyyou should ask this, as if there was a meaning behind the obvious. Ha Ha I laugh at your minimally, limited intelligence, yet I want you to discover something that may help you become more aware and willing to take chances, to take "a leap of faith", to defy destiny or laugh at your own choice to "fall" without the sudden "stop". Maybe even to help you become better at being fearless instead of fearful.

So much to absorb and "take in", so much to "digest" or to even be willing to "swallow" that "pill" that may give you invincibility, or at least the feeling of such. Ha Ha I laugh once more at the idea of you not feeling worthy of this "new" knowledge, which may leave you guessing or struggling with the true (as you previously once understood it to be).

You are caught in your mirrored reflection, admiring vainly how you wish to be and how you presently are. But I ask "are these things that you see, even the smallest of them, reality"? I, admit myself, am puzzled. I still want to show you where you will go, when you will go, how you will go, with whom you will go, what you will go, and yes, yes, yes, even the why you will go.

I will now explain all these things as you will learn they are so simple and so basic that most would give their own soul to the devil to learn even only a split second, what you will learn from me ("but at what cost"? It is, with a smile creeping, on my aging face, that you will be allowed to participate in maybe one or more of these twisted and agonizing dreams. You will see everything, hear everything, will feel everything, without a voice to scream, yes even smell or be aware of everything that I was cursed with, to then become part of my mind and part of the dreamcycle of horror and divine destiny that will endure your every thought and waking moment, will haunt your dreams.

You move backwards, falling on your back, hitting your head on the rugged floor, and become still. I was then afraid myself, in the fact that I may have caused you harm. I moved forward, towards you and, grabbing your wrist, noticed you had a faint pulse. I was relieved and was still fearful of this. I looked towards an open door, heading to the door, out into the outer hallway.

I was overjoyed, which was shortlived and becoming more afraid, noticed the hallway becoming longer and more narrow. I headed in the direction of the elevators, that were running and seemed to be going towards the length of the extending hallway. I was baffled as I inched, less running, to see how I could "caught up with" the hallway and now the elevators.

"Was I still dreaming"? "Was I in purgatory"? "Was I still where I had been before"? As to where I was, I knew not, nor was I sure how this had become my actual reality. I was feeling mix emotions and become nasueous and light headed simultaneously. I was leaning left then right, was becoming shaken then swirling. I fell hard and fast.

I then felt a hand, then two hands, then more hands, grasping my arms and body roughly, then raising me, which seem to last forever, before the raising stopped. I was on a solid object, was being moved forwards then placed in a location which stopped the movements.

I was trying to wiggle free of my restraints, trying to move, even a little, to no avail. I was afraid that I would be prevented from ever moving or being free again. Before long, when we "arrived" at our destination, I noticed people in white, faceless or blurred, not being able to speak or understand what they were saying. I was eventually "released" from my bonds, being moved to a different table and then several people decided to examine me. I looked around, saw what seem to be an observation room, my glance went towards to large objects that lined the wall.

I tried to scream out, to cry for help, to let them know I was now aware of what I thought they were planning to do. I was pushed downward onto the table again, hearing what I observed to a machine beeping. I saw paddles being placed on my chest, I assumed was to restart my failing heart. Finally, after trying to restart me, to bring me back to life, they left the room, one by one, in single file.

I felt alone. I felt my breath leaving me. I felt helpless and distressed. "Was I still dreaming"? "Was I there, wherever, alone, left to fade"? "Was I no longer even real"? "What was to become of me as I felt the dream return"? "Had I met some ill-fated end that was neither here nor there, was neither then or now"?

It was then I awoke.