Because I Said So

“Because I said so!”

“Mom, that isn’t a reason…” Stephen exclaims but is cut off by his mother, Charlene.

“Oh yea? Why not? I am older than you, I am smarter than you, I am bigger than you, and you are my son, I know what’s best for you.” Charlene stated with an agitated tone. “I said no, so it is a no.”

“Mom, can we at least have a discussion about it?” Stephen pleaded.

“I don’t think we even need to have one, hunny, it’s not going to happen, not while you are living under this roof.” Charlene grabbed a stack of magazines into her hand and started to walk away.

“Mom, this is something I have wanted for a long time and I have put a lot of thought into it,” Stephen gets cut off by the loud sound of Charlene straightening out the magazines on the counter.

“Stephen. You are fourteen years old, I will not allow it and that is final.” Charlene says in a stern voice and walks out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind her.

Stephen stands alone in the kitchen. He wished his big sister Margot was there for him now more than ever. He also missed his dad, but the death of his sister was like losing a best friend to him as well. Hot tears started to stream down his cheeks, he was so angry and upset that his vision started to blur. If only his mother would listen for once. He charged through the door his mother had just went through, swinging the door open. The door hit the wall to the left when it swung open and a picture frame of the whole family fell to the floor and the glass shattered.

“Mom. I am old enough to have a discussion with you and you have to listen to what I have to say!” He yelled at his mother who looked unimpressed.

“You think you are so smart and so mature and ready to make decisions for yourself now. Fine. Let’s have a discussion then!” Charlene was more furious than before. “First, I want you to look me dead in the eye and tell me something. Do you want to do this because your other friends are doing it?”

“No.” Stephen said with hesitation.

“No? So you’re telling me that none of your friends are doing it?” She looked right at Stephen.

“No…” Stephen said with hesitation slightly glancing away.

“Stephen!?” She elongated the ‘n’ sound to make it into a question.

“There’s one of my friends, but she…” 

“I don’t care what ‘she’ did or said. First off, you are your own person and can’t just be doing things because your friends are. Second off, you just tried to lie to my face. Why would you think that would make me want to say yes in any way.”

“But mom, it’s not because of her,” Stephen exclaimed.

“Oh well, past that. It’s going to be extremely painful for you.”

“It will go away, I can handle it.” Stephen claimed with conviction in his voice.

“But you can’t! I know you Stephen, you are not a very strong kid, you never have been. You have always had a strong heart, but I don’t think that you can handle the pain.” Charlene said with almost a caring tone. “On top of that, it can mess up your body a lot, especially when you are this young and developing as much as you are right now. Plus it’s permanent. This decision will be with you for the rest of your life.”

“I know all of the risks, mum, I am ready. I have made my decision.”

“But I don’t know if you are ready to make this decision. It is so big, your brain is still developing and you are easily influenced by everything around you and I don’t want this to be one of those things too.” Charlene tried to explain.

“I have taken my time to think about this, I have talked to my friends, I have done my research…” Stephen gets cut off by Charlene

“But what if something were to go wrong? There’s so many different ways that something might happen to you, what if the doctors mess up. It is still experimental to an extent and we don’t know what it might do to you.” Charlene stopped and sniffled for a moment as a tear slowly ran down her cheek. “I already lost your sister and your father, I can’t lose my little boy too.” Charlene leans against the wall and slides down to the floor. She puts her face into her hands that are supported by her knees and starts to cry. Stephen looks at his mother and takes her hands.

“Mum, the doctors know what they are doing. It will be okay.”

“I know, but I am just so scared!” She continues to cry.

Stephen holds her hands up to him more, forcing his mother to look up a little. He wipes the tears away from her eyes. “Mom. I haven’t been happy in my own body for so long. I always knew that I was different than all of the other boys at school. Every day I look into the mirror and I don’t know if I’m looking at me or if I’m looking at a stranger. I lay in bed every night and cry myself to sleep because I don’t know how to feel and why I feel the way I feel. I know that you are scared, mom, I am too, but we can go through it together. And mum, no matter what, I will always be here.” Stephen spoke as tears started to roll down his cheeks as well.

“Sweetie,” Charlene said in an almost worried tone. “I had no idea you felt that way for so long.” Charlene starts to cry even more.

“It has been so long…” Stephen starts to cry as well. Stephen pulls Charlene up to her feet and gives her a hug, they both cry for a moment, together. 

Charlene steps back and sniffles, “We will go talk to the doctors this weekend and discuss how we plan to go forward with your transition.”

“Do you really mean it, mum?” Stephen backs away.

Charlene nods her head slowly as she looks at Stephen who goes in for another big hug.

“I love you mom! Thank you!”

“I love you too, sweetie.”