Awaiting

TW: murder, mental illness, substance abuse

A sigh escaped my lips as I stared for the umpteenth time at my room window in the dark, eerie night.

She wasn't coming.

I knew it she wasn't coming back.

All my life, I had lived without a father and a mother. No one was there for me, just my elder sister - Queen.

But now, she is gone.

Just like the rest of them.

Queen told me dad and mom ran away and abandoned us at a very tender age. I was only 12 years old and Queen was 16 years old according to her account.

Realising that, Queen took me and ran off to a far away country side in Minnesota. I didn't understand anything then.

But she made it clear that we were safer here in an old cabin which according to her, was our family cabin whenever we went picnicking.

Where was she now?

She had left the house as early as 6am to heaven - knows - where.

Though Queen was a very agile girl, I recently found out she was into drugs, robbery and a lot of bad things. Although she was an adult, I really feel unsafe at times when she gets back home drunk and oozing of marijuana.

I do feel sad and disappointed. But I love her so much and don't want to lose her. I don't want her to leave me the way mom and dad did.

This was crushing me so badly.

I could remember vividly the night I caught her in bed with a guy from nowhere.

The awful moans and noises they made were tempting me and having being locked up in this cabin for many years all in the name of safety.

I'm still trying to figure out why my parents left. I always ask her but she always found a way to change the subject.

She was hiding something from me. But what was it?

Where could she be by midnight?

Maybe she had just gotten lost on her way back? No, Queen is a very smart and sharp person.

Maybe there was traffic ?

In the country, seriously Perry?

I gave myself comforting excuses and hoped that Queen will wake me up tomorrow morning with a cup of hot chocolate and brownies.

I really miss her.

Queen please come back.

Please.

Bam!!

I heard the front door opened at once and I panicked.

Who could have entered? Was it Queen?

Reaching my hand under my bed, I brought out a baseball bat. Queen had given it to me and thought me how to use it to defend myself.

Whenever I asked her the reason for it, she would always reply saying:

“Mi amor, this world is a very bad place”

That was always her response and it made me wonder even more.

What really happened to my mom and dad?

I took subtle steps down the corridor , making sure the creaking floorboard don't give me away.

The lights of the kitchen were turned on. I could hear clashing sound of plates and cutleries like whoever was in the house was searching for something.

My heart thudded so hard. I could hear my heart beat. My palms became sweaty and I was perspiring within.

I took a deep breath and made for the stairs. I cautiously walked down the stairs making a silent prayer.

Please be Queen!

I braced myself and then took a peek at the kitchen. I could only see a profile of someone, I couldn't tell male or female.

As i was just about to step in, the telephone rang. I froze at the spot hiding behind the wall.

I heard footsteps towards the telephone.

Oh God!

I took deep breaths.

“Hello, who is this?”

No, that was not Queen. That was definitely not my sister. Could it be a thief? Or a kidnapper?

This can't be happening.

The girl was still answering the phone. I'm in deep trouble.

I took another peek and noticed the girl was tall and looked like Queen's age. She was also backing my direction. This was a good opportunity to strike.

I tightened my grip on the bat and tiptoed towards her.

Who does she think she is? Coming to my house and answering calls through my telephone.

I was right behind her now and then she turned just immediately and froze in shock, dropping the telephone to the floor.

“You?” She uttered in a very shaky voice.

I stared at her with my baseball bat in my hands.

“How did you get out of the hospital?” She asked me

A grin formed on my lips and I rose my bat and immediately banged it on her head.

Falling down to the floor with a bleeding head, she groaned in pain as she struggled to hold on but couldn't and she died.

I gave her a sad smile.

I reached for the telephone line and placed it to my ear.

“Betsy! Betsy! Is every thing alright?” The man behind the call shouted

“She is fine, lying here - in the pool of her blood.” I replied

There was a pause on the call before he answered

“You? You psychotic serial killer! How did you get into Dr. Betsy's house? What have you done? I'm calling 911”

“Do just that” I replied with a smirk and let go of the telephone and let it hanging.

It wasn't easy being me. I would never forgive myself for killing my sister four years ago.

Staring at the awful, gory scene before me, I gasped and looked around. My heart was beating so fast.

“Queen? No, no. I'm... I'm sorry.”

The cops had already arrived and they grabbed me and handcuffed me and took away the baseball bat that was in my hand.

“You killed your sister with a baseball bat” The cop's word sunk into my head.

I murdered the one who I anxiously waited for.

“I didn't know she was the one” I managed to say but they weren't convinced

And Dr. Betsy's therapy session I had in the mental hospital after spending 2 years in a juvenile.

“I killed Queen” I told her

“No you didn't ” She replied me

She passed a piece of paper to me. The paper looked so familiar. I took it and looked at the writing which was in green.

“You found this letter the next day on the kitchen counter and called 911, Perry.”

I remembered.

“Your sister never came home that night. She ran away, according to her letter”

It was true.

“You are getting a lot of crazy ideas into your head, Perry. You didn't kill anyone. You never went to juvenile. There was no thief in the house, nothing. No one was home that night except you” she further said

“She left me” I muttered

There was a momentary pause. I rose my eyes and took another look at the doctor.

I knew what to do about her!

I'm Perry Ortiz and I've been waiting for my sister for the past 4 years and I'm still waiting for her. I know she will come back for me.

My last words before I was put behind bars for the murder of Betsy Curt.