Take Me Ravens, For Here I Lay (Part 2 of I Await Thee Ravens, Among The Briars)

“Who?” They look confused and their beady, raven like eyes squint at the yellowed paper I hold in front of their noses.

“Callen Meyer. Or maybe you know him as Derrick? Or some other name he might go by? Please, do you recognise him at all?” I plead.

“I’m sorry madame, but I have never heard of that person… or people… or seen him in my entire life.” The man I am speaking to doesn’t give me the opportunity to say anything, or even thank him for his time before he struts off, leaving me standing alone in the middle of the street.

I hug myself, trying not to shiver. No one knows my Derrick. No one remembers him. If they did, I don’t see why they would tell me anyways. I look like I belong in the local asylum. My dress is torn and my arms and shoulders are streaked with dried blood, little thorns are probably wedged in between the cuts on my flesh. I’m a mess, and no one seems concerned for Derrick, only me. 

I don’t know why I’m even asking around for him. I know the prince’s guards have taken him somewhere. The gallows most likely. 

“Oh Sylvaine,” I mutter to myself. “You really are going crazy.”

Crazy crazy crazy.

My hands drop to my side and the paper hangs loosely from my fingertips. I should go back to my tower. I should forget all about him. He obviously didn’t care about me if he was willing to leave me for months on end to go one some faux voyage.

But all the gifts. The necklace… the promises… the kisses.

How could he have faked all that?

But I can’t bring myself to leave him to suffer if he is still alive. I can’t live myself knowing what I know, wondering if he ever did actually love me. If he ever planned on coming for me. I can’t live in curiosity wondering “what if” my entire life.

What if I found someplace to sleep?

My eyelids beg to close, but I want to keep searching. I have nowhere to go right now, I have no money and or food, I have nothing to do but search. 

Regardless, my legs pull me into an alley and my knees buckle on top of some half full flour sacks, and my eyes do end up closing.

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The ravens, their dark feathers and evil eyes and their leather legs and their sharp talons. Everything about them is evil. But they’re so… soft. Why are such awful creatures so lovable? So sinister but clever and thoughtful. It’s just me and the raven, the raven and me. A strange sensation brushes my skin. What is this? It's all white around me. The Raven’s wings are extended, and we seem to be swimming in cotton. It’s cold, and the air is thin here, but I like it. Just the raven and me.

Suddenly my stomach plummets and out of the cotton sea we fall, I realize we aren’t swimming but flying!

Falling now. A controlled fall, a dive…

But it's still terrifying. My mouth is open, I’m screaming but I can’t hear it.

We fall closer and closer to earth, straight to stones before the bird suddenly pulls up and lands neatly, its little talons scraping the cobblestones as it walks closer to a wooden structure. There is a foul stench in the air, and a lot of other black birds, ravens and vultures alike surround the wooden structure. There is a platform, then a post that is shaped like an upside down L. From the tip of that L, a rope hangs, and from that rope… 

I gasp realizing who it is. I slide off the bird and it flies up to the body and starts to peck...

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I woke up. And the first thing I see is a raven on the flour sack next to me. I scream. And a door in the alley flies open, and several wings open and take flight. A short and stout woman with a red face and even more scarlet hair steps out. 

“Good heavens child, what is wrong with you? I was alright with you sleeping in the alley way, but at least keep it down or you will have my customers thinking someone is being murdered in the back, and I can’t be discovered.” She throws a wink over her shoulder and sets a plate with buttered bread and a glass of fresh milk before me, then goes back inside.

I don’t let the ravens even think about coming back to steal my food. I scramble over to the plate and scarf it down. 

I think I’m right. I think he is in the gallows. That body… It had perfect blonde hair… just like him. How many criminals, or alleged criminals had perfect blonde hair? I brought my knees up to my chest and started to sob. He was gone. 

I rocked back and forth for a while before the sun warmed the alley way and I knew I should have gone back home. I shouldn’t have even left. 

I take a tentative step towards the light and then another. Soon I'm out on the street and people are staring again. I duck my head and start towards the docks where I know they will hang the bodies of those from the gallows. If he is there then I will stop, but if not… there is no way I can still go to my tower. 

The closer I get to the docks the more crowded it becomes. People coming from both directions make it almost impossible to get through, but finally I do. I head to the less crowded part of the port, where they hang the bodies as a warning to the thieves coming in from other cities and countries. 

I even got a good night's sleep, I wasn’t tired, I wasn’t sick anymore, but my knees buckled as soon as I got a glimpse of perfect blonde hair. 

I started to sob and pull myself closer to make sure it was really him.

All of his perfect features. His perfect body. It was all there, only slightly marred by the angle of his neck and the blood on his shirt. 

My Derrick… dead.

I cried out, my heart broken, my gut churning, I could feel the buttered bread crawling its way back up. I hurl into the docks and I have to catch myself just before I tumble over the edge and into the water.

What did he do? Why? Did he ever love me? The tears come with each question, faster and faster and faster until… until I can’t cry at all. I’m out of tears and I lay in my tattered dress, with cuts and thornes and blood and vomit. I lay baking in the sun with crusty eyes and salt water stuck to me. I lay and I wait for the ravens to come.