Trapped heart

To experience love is to experience to getting hurt.

It's already a given.

But it, happening to me countless times, wasn't really what I had dreamt of. Especially when getting hurt is more often than experiencing that butterflies in your chest.

The memories of the heartbreaks will haunt you to the point all you can do is cry on a moment of bliss.

It occurs to me a lot that even as I wake up in the hammock of vines, I still find myself in tears for it was still loitering as a dream.

Watering the garden, and wandering down the beach, no matter what I do, the longing still lingers within my heart. It's like I am trapped within that melancholic feeling the way I am trapped in this island.

There was no escape.

I've been here in this island for as long as I can remember, and for why I am here is for a sin I inherited from my father, as I took his side in a conflict that was beyond our imagination, and capabilities.

There was nothing to expect in this place except for the vast vegetations, scattered palm trees that barely even give shades, the endless sea which's basically everywhere surrounding the island, and the scenery that one could get bored to when you're seeing it for years.

And I'm the proof of it.

But an unexpecting event washed upon the shore, and a young man helds tight upon a chest as he lies unconcious on the sandy beach. He wears leather as suite, and hair all short and dark.

He was rather too young to be sent here in this island as an addition to my list of heartbreakers, but apparently, my conditions knows no age.

"urgh... where am I?" he groaned upon waking up. "who are you?"

"... I... My name's Calypso..." It was the day I met Lewis, a twenty year old explorer that loved to know all this about the world.

He fascinated all things large and small that he kept records of everything he encounters on a journal he always kept beside him. Even the scenery I had gotten used to, was given another perspective as he draw it in a piece of paper with a sharpen charcoal stick. And before I knew it, he gave meaning to everything in my life. 

Days became brighter and joyful, briming with adventures as we discover new meanings of every thing on the island together, and the nights isn't as lonely as before with him playing a wind pipe he crafted out from a branch while I sing along with his tones under the starry sky.

But I knew this event won't last long for the curse would soon kick in. For the first thing I fall to a stranger that comes, the second I'll loose him.

I tried pretending not to have fallen and acted as if he was none other but a friend, so that he could stay yet it didn't matter if he knows it or not.

I am still losing him.

Every night, he dreams of a nightmare about his family succumbing in some kind of plague that spreads althrough out the land, and this dream went through night after night that he became restless and worried until the day he fully acknowledge that it was no ordinary dream but a vision sent to him.

There's was no doubt that he's no ordinary person to be sent here without reason. He was a hero, a saviour choosen by the gods to clean up the mess they made.

"This is it! We found it! This is the flower that could cure everyone!" He claimed, holding the silver acatnus in his hand excitedly. A small flower that grews on vines. His joy was uncontainable, and he couldn't stop from jumping that he claimed. "We're finally getting back home!"

The words that I didn't wanna hear.

Only those who's like him, chosen heroes, and hermes, a god could enter and leave this place. For me, who's a prisoner of this island, there was no way back into the real world. 

"I-I'm not coming..." my voice croaked, instead of saying what I wanted to convey. I wanted him to stay, to be with me forever yet I already knew what kind of man he was.

He might be childish, and feels like isn't taking everthing seriously but he was also a responsible mortal, the reason why he was choosen.

And I didn't wanted to repeat the same mistake I did centuries ago, and forcing him to stay.

In the very end, I watch the boat with him disappear within the mist of the night, without telling what I had felt towards him. The feelings became like me, trapped inside and couldn't escape.

Everything didn't go back to the way it was, but rather it became far worse. All the memories he left with me all over Ogygia devours me inside, making me feel the guilt of unable to speak what was inside of me. 

Even my room that used to be filled with flowers and cavern rock, were replaced by the scribbles we made together. And alas, I found the journal he had been keeping.

It was like an almanac with drawn pictures and written information refering to this place, and everything in it But the last page caught me off guard.

There was a portait of me, sitting within the shore while gazing upon the horizon, and a letter attached to it that says.

"You're a weird girl. You always try so hard connecting to me yet in the end, you avoid getting too close to me. You always looked bright as you guide me all over the island yet I could still see you hide extreme sadness beneath those beautiful. And when I saw you looked at the horizon, I couldn't help but draw a portait of you. You who doesn't hide anything, and as if you reach out to the outside world. The you I fell for.

P.S.

I don't regret getting stranded on this standing, and falling for you. Instead, I am grateful that our paths had crossed and I was able meet you. The only thing I regret is that, I couldn't take you"