IT'S ALL RELATIVE

In the doctors' cafeteria at a prominent medical university hospital, two young physicians were discussing their current patient census. Sitting at a table at lunch, one of the two was quite annoyed. 

Dr. Gary Houston exasperatedly complained about one patient in particular, an elderly man in serious condition. 

“I can’t believe how stupid this old guy is! It took me an extra 15 minutes just trying to find out what medications he is taking. The guy couldn’t remember a single one. Look, I know the guy is sick, but come on!”

His lunch mate, Dr. Richard Shnipper, responded, “Houston, we have a problem. Perhaps he can’t remember things because he isn’t feeling well, as you suggested. After all, when a patient gets pneumonia at 92 years old, it’s likely to take a toll on his orientation and memory. Don’t you need to take that into consideration?”

Dr. Houston continued. “I’m just tired of dealing with stupidity. I always feel like I’m surrounded by idiots.”

Dr. Shnipper suggested, “Look, Gary, you’re a really smart guy, so it isn’t surprising that you find everyone around you less intelligent. You just have to deal with it and try not to be arrogant or presumptuous. After all, it’s all relative. You are very intelligent, and it seems to you that others are stupid. But if you were sitting at a table surrounded by nuclear physicists, world-renown musicians or famous writers, you might be the one feeling inadequate.”

“Well, maybe you’re right. Hey, I have to go see the guy now to complete my history and physical. I’ll try to ease up. It’s just so frustrating.”

With that, Dr. Houston sauntered up to his patient’s room. Fortunately, the patient’s wife was visiting and offered to furnish additional information about the patient. 

“Hello, Mrs. Weissenberg. I’m Dr. Gary Houston. I’m the intern assigned to your husband’s case. I’ll be seeing him every day and coordinating his care while he’s here at the hospital. As you probably already know, he has double pneumonia. He’s on powerful intravenous antibiotics and he’s also getting fluids and other supporting medications. We are hoping the antibiotics can get control of the bacteria infecting his lungs. At his age, it’s obviously touch and go. If his body can generate a good immune response, we might have a chance at pulling him through. By the way, I wonder if you could give me a list of his current home medications. Also, if you could give me some family and social history, I would appreciate it. For example, what did your husband do for a living?”

The patient’s wife said, “Oh, you don’t know who Michael is?”

Dr. Houston casually replied, with a shrug of his shoulders, “No. Should I?”

Mrs. Weissenberg smiled. “Well, Michael is — or should I say, was — an expert in astrophysics and rocket science. He was a professor of astrophysics at MIT. He designed the Starlight Space Probe that was launched in 1978. You know, we’ve been very excited lately because the Starlight recently breached interstellar space and is now beyond the outer boundaries of our own solar system, similar to the two Voyager spaceships launched in 1976. Michael and I had so much fun during our careers. I’m also an astrophysicist. We met at MIT.”

Jacqueline Weissenberg continued, “Michael also designed a digital recording that is contained in the Starlight that is being broadcast on a special frequency that can penetrate interstellar dark matter and galactic dust. The recording contains a greeting from Earth, along with samples of music, mathematical equations, and natural sounds from our planet. If the signal is ever received by an alien civilization, the recording will be an excellent representation of our life here on Earth.”

Gary Houston, in total astonishment, mumbled, “Honestly, Mrs. Weissenberg, I didn’t know any of that. I’m really amazed. I have to admit that I underestimated him.”

Mrs. Weissenberg chuckled, “You know, Dr. Houston, it’s always easy to underestimate people when you don’t really know them. But everything is relative in life. There is always someone smarter, more talented, richer, or more good looking. As teachers, we both always tried to give our students the benefit of the doubt and never assume anything negative. You’d be surprised at the hidden talents and abilities we found in them. In this crazy Universe of ours, you just never know.”

Gary quietly contemplated those profound words and vowed to remember them.

At the same time, on the planet Beta Arratus 5, an exoplanet in the habitable zone around the Proxima Centauri Star System and approximately 4.246 light years from Earth, the monitoring tech Golax-4Q reported to his supervisor. 

“Supervisor Talq!x-5J, we have received an alien transmission from the direction of a small planet in the Sol star system. It is the third planet from their star. It appears that the transmission was sent from this planet from a space vehicle just exiting their system, but still within their Oort Cloud formation.

“Yes, I know that planet quite well. I have been there numerous times. Monitoring tech Golax, please provide a full report.”

“Supervisor Talq!x, the transmission is in the form of a simple code that we translated instantly. They refer to their planet as Earth. The technological level of the transmission indicates a relatively primitive phase of development. The information we received suggests development at industrial level 2, allowing for the use of simple tools and electronic devices, energy derived from the burning of planetary fuels, and limited space flight. This would place them at approximately the same level of development as several of our insect fauna. Shall I return a message to them?”

“No, Golax. There really isn’t anything to be gained from that. It would undoubtedly frighten them unnecessarily. It would be best just to leave them alone. Perhaps in several hundred thousand years, their intellectual development might reach a point where it would be meaningful to communicate with them. Until then, it would be relatively similar to communicating with a species of bugs.”