Lola

Lola

TW: Includes sexual innuendo.

“T'was the third of June another early summer typical Tuesday in Dullsville. Mom and Dad were off to work already but I hadn't lined up a summer job yet so I decided to take a run.

Clad in my slick Nike's from gym days, knee-high striped athletic socks, short silky running shorts and a happy face t-shirt I'm the height of jogging fashion. I take a well-worn path but when I come to the intersection where I could turn right and head home or left and end up ...where ever, I get a second wind and turn left.

Hey, I'm not a 'Oh, What a Beautiful Morning' type of guy but I'm sure the sun was shining moonbeams over the verdant hillsides smelling earthly with the freshly turned soil and new sprouts shooting and butterflies flitting in the wildflowers where the aliens had etched crop circles in the middle of he night but I must have entered a new country or at least a new county. It took me a few seconds to realize I was utterly and completely lost standing on the front porch of the only house in sight. I knock on the door ready to ask directions and find her standing there.

She looks like... like a fairy godmother? She has gossamer wings, wearing a white tube top stretched tight in all the right places and sheer layers of frothy white material cut in triangles mini-skirt short. Barefoot but wearing a Mardis Gras type half mask and holding a wand.

“Oh, good! You're the plumber here to clear out my pipes. Come on in.”

“No, I'm no plumber. I don't have any equipment. I was just...” She never heard me. She already pulled me inside.

She looks me up and down and says, “You'll do fine. Let me finish this vacuuming and I'll show you the way.”

She sticks the wand in the crevices of her couch then reaches high into a corner for a cobweb. Finally, she bends over to press the off button on the loud machine. All that bending and stretching has given me lot of T and A views. Now I memorized all the Dallas cheerleaders from my stack of playing cards a couple of years ago but never have gotten so up close to the real thing. I can feel my jock strap tightening.

“There we are. Would you like to join me in a cup of hot cocoa before we go down?

“Hot cocoa?”

“Sure this way.” She leads me into her spotless kitchen and pours cocoa from a tea pot into two mugs. Plops in full-sized marshmallows then she opens the freezer and pops out two frozen chocolate dipped bananas. “I get hungry doing house work, don't you? Let's take these to the hot tub on the deck.”

Boil, boil, toil and trouble. The tub is bubbling over with frothy peaks of foam. Now I know I'm lost. What is this lonely homemaker? Some kind of witch that boils unsuspecting grad lads for lunch?

I remember to take off my sneakers, socks and tee. She is already sinking down in the suds. The air bubbles billow out her skirts and top making her look like giant marshmallows in the murky water.

She hands me one of the bananas once I'm settled in. Hers is already melting as she licks away dripping chocolate down her chin and into the mix. She has a cute way of biting at the corner of her bottom lip as she tries to catch the drips. So she hurries the process by deep throating the banana... very sensually.

I offer her my banana,

My, I think it is getting very hot in here.

“Oh, are you getting out already. I was hoping to get a little kiss.”

“I'm heating up too fast. Summer day, hot tub and all. Besides I don't have a lot of experience kissing.”

“I can teach you. It could be fun. Here, just whisper my name up close to my lips. Lola.”

“Lola, Lola, Lola.”

“See. It's easy. Now a little closer, and closer.”

Soon, I was in her mouth tasting chocolate and marshmallows. And I couldn't stop. I was Lola-ing down her neck and shoulders. Her bubbles floated away and I kept kissing everywhere. I needed to come up for air.

“Very good. What's your name?”

“Ralph,” I said but it probably came out “Gulp.”

“See, you are an excellent kisser. Let's get out to cool off and we can get that nasty pipe unplugged. Give me your shorts and I'll throw these clothes into the dryer so they'll be dry by the time you're done.”

We headed downstairs both of us totally naked. “It's beyond that door. I'll follow once I rinse these and put them in the dryer. Here's the snake.”

I open the door, my long tool in hand, and am utterly and completely lost again. In the middle of the room there is a big bouncy exercise ball and some kind of metal bed or is it a torture rack? Leather straps hang from the ceiling, a man chained to the wall, spiked choke collars and whips...back up. A man chained to the wall! The big burly guy has leather boots and gloves on, a partial leather mask over his face, some kind of a chastity belt around his groin area and a ball in his mouth. He growls at me.

“Oh, excuse me, Sir. I assure you I, I haven't hurt your wife...”

He spits out the ball, “She's not my wife. She's my dominatrix. Are you her new whipping boy?”

”I'm, I'm here to clear out Lola's pipes.”

“I can show you where to stick that snake, Punk.”

I throw down the tool in disgust. “You know what? I quit!”

“I see you two have met. Ralph, this is 'Jughead'. Don't pay any attention to him. He is a little testy right now. Jughead, Ralph is going to clear out my pipes since you show no interest in doing it. We'll finish our business in a bit. This way, Ralph.”

He looked between us once more and said, “It's either her or me.”

She ducks behind a curtain out of Jarhead's sight. I follow once more clutching the long tool which I thread into the plugged hole she shows me. I ram and ram until it reams out and everything flows again. I can tell she is impressed.

Once finished with the nasty job she points to the adjacent shower. So I take her in the shower, I mean, I take her into the shower. She lets me practice my Lola, Lola, Lola, Gulp routine as the water cascades over our hot sticky bodies.

Then she bends over backwards showing how much fun the exercise ball can be for two. We rock and roll keeping a delicate bouncing balance. It's the most fun I've ever had playing ball.

Jughead is growling again so she slips on some high-heeled leather boots and other pieces of leather strategically placed and tickles him with the end of a whip.

“It's been a lot of fun, Ralph, and thank you for your help. I'll give you enough time to get your sneakers on before I turn him loose. He really is a pussy cat but he likes to sound tough.” She bustles me up the stairs with my clothes then starts unlocking the belt.

“Thank you for all the lessons, Lola.”

“Come again anytime.” She shouts after me.

You'll never believe how many lonely homemakers are out there in need of having pipes cleared. Not only did I find my summer calling but I turned it into a plumbing career.

>>>>

Years later I stand before the sexaholic anonymous crowd and say the biggest lie of my life, “I'm a forty-year old virgin and have nightmares of devouring giant marshmallows.”