The Encounter

"Are you there, God? It's me, Joe!"

“Hey, Joe. What’s up?”

Joe sat frozen in his seat for a few seconds or it may have been minutes. 

Then he turned around and looked at the back seat of his car which he quickly realized was foolish. Of course, he was alone! He was headed home from his office, alone, the same as every day.

He’d got stuck in traffic which seemed to be moving slower than usual because of an accident or something up ahead - he could see the red and blue lights flashing a few miles ahead.

The weather was cold, the car heater was broken and so was the car stereo.

After about an hour of moving - barely - just his right foot on the gas peddle while thinking of his failing business, degrading relationships, constantly tired body, and permanently stressed mind he’d cried out -

“Are you there, God? It’s me, Joe!” And he’d heard a voice respond!

It seemed more and more like a hallucination as the minutes rolled away.

He looked ahead at the car in front with eager attention and continued driving.

“Are you still there, Joe?”, said the voice.

Joe jumped in his seat, tugged hard at his seatbelt, and almost hit his head on the car roof.

“Who is this?”, said Joe frantically looking around in all directions.

“You reached out to me buddy and now you’re asking who I am? - I am God.”

“Yes, yes I did.. But ah.. ah.. I didn’t think I would actually reach you and that you’d respond!”

“Why wouldn’t I respond? I always respond.”

“You do? So reaching out to you is that easy? Anyone can just talk to you?

“Of course!”

“Then why don’t they?”

“Why didn’t you talk to me all this time?”

“I did not think it was possible.”

“Exactly! People think they need to go through proxies like places of worship, the holy men, holy books, and whatnot.. No one ever just genuinely tries to talk to me. Directly.”

Joe sat frozen in his car with his mouth half open and the car behind him honking at him to keep moving. He could not hear, think or even move for a few seconds. Then he did and moved his car ahead by a few feet and the traffic stopped again.

“Ok, now, did you actually want to talk to me about something or was this like a butt-dial?”

“NO! I do want to talk to you!”

“Well, go ahead then. How can I help you today?”

“Ummm.. I.. Umm.. Are you really God?”

“Yes, I am. Will that be all Mr. Hoffman?”

Joe turned around in his seat one last time to see if he could be hearing someone from any of the surrounding cars, checked if his stereo had suddenly come to life, and if this was a prank on a radio show. 

But his windows were jammed shut to keep out the cold air so he couldn't be hearing anything from outside and he had punched his car stereo so many times he did not think it would ever work again.

“Wait! In that case.. I do want to talk...I want to talk.. about.. why my life sucks so bad!”

“What do you mean?”

“I never did anything wrong. I always made the difficult-but-right choice! I sacrificed my entire youth for my business but it just never took off! I worked my ass off to keep my marriage intact but it's hanging by a thread! No matter how exhausted I am I spent time with my kids but they don’t care about me! I contribute to my community, I give money to charities and yet things never seem to go my way! Just today, I took a huge pay cut to keep my business afloat without firing anyone but what do I get for it? I lose two important clients and a thankless staff! I always get stuck in traffic, my stereo and heater break down when I need them the most! I can list a thousand things that are wrong in my life. I just can’t catch a break. Why do you hate me so much!”

Joe was breathing heavily and he felt his face warm up even in the biting cold weather.

“Whoa whoa whoa! I assure you that I do not hate you or have any strong feelings towards any individual humans. But I’m sorry to hear that your human experience hasn’t been ideal. Let me pull up your information and see what I can do. Can you please confirm your date of birth for me?”

“Huh?”

“Your date of birth?”

“July 14th, 1976.”

“Thank you. Joseph Hoffman, resident of Chicago, Illinois, United States, Earth. Okay.. I’m looking at all your information here and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong..”

“Nothing wrong!? Everything I touch becomes a disaster! I’m the unluckiest person in the world!”

“Maybe that’s it. Your luck factor seems to be showing some unusual patterns.. hmmm”

“My what again?”

“Yeah, I’m going to reset your luck factor now and we’ll see if that fixes things for you, alright?”

“Reset my luck? What do you mean you’re resetting my luck factor..? How will..Wha..”

“Ok, it's done and you should be all set. Is there anything else I can assist you with tonight, Joe?”

“Ummm.. I don’t know..”

“I hope you have a nice rest of your life, Joe. And if it’s not, you know how to reach me.”

Joe was trying to figure out what to say next but he knew somehow that the conversation was over. As he was trying to make sense of this bizarre occurrence, he saw a right turn leading to an inner road that seemed to lead into a residential community and he felt an inexplicable need to take that road. He followed the inner road and found that it merged back into the main road just further ahead of the traffic jam.

He gave out a yell of triumph and stepped on the gas. He knew everything would be alright from that point forward.