Outer limits of infinite twilight zone spanning bajillion miles across Milky Way galaxy offered regularly scheduled business and/or leisure treks. This being the year 2319 anno domini, an intricate sophisticated network system linkedin easy access to travel avast distance anywhere premiering a damn trumpeting don, plus agent provocateur 99 Hulu darkness my old friend, who supposedly wanted to flickr godaddy hotmail within world wide web, or black hole if feeling funk. Automobiles and fossil fuels long since relegated to the dustbin of history. Teleportation thru telepathic means notified Get Smart vehicles functioning insync as mass transit. These got powered by natural resources (cadavers, discarded rejected manuscript drafts, human/industrial waste, rotten food, small disobedient children, trash...) prevalent within given territory, which sectors incorporated solar system wide quadrants. Said state of the art uber mobility lyft functioned courtesy hovering on cushion of air imperceptibly above terrestrial surface.
Hemispherical quasi podcast shaped transportation devices (swiftly styled custom hurriedly tailored) at telepathic beck and call courtesy individual electronically compatible beast buddy, whenever services sought with extended flat base naturally resembling unidentified flying objects. Why? Brisk business flourished ever since said cosmos conveyances allowed enabled, and provided mobility contraptions manufactured between entrepreneurial advanced alien nations collaborated (don hit!, some still trumpet collusion) with Earthlings. Aside from humdrum criss crossing cosmos, one weary galaxy trotting wayfarer could literally meet themself halfway, and accompany his/her other self to Ozzy Osbourne, particularly on Black Sabbath. Revolutionary scientific breakthroughs with space-time continuum travel made zipping back and forth thru fourth timely dimension rather pedestrian and routine. One garden variety nomad i.e. yours truly hankered to backtrack keep on truckin cue tee circa quaint era constituting late eighteen/ early nineteen hundred small town, white picket fence America, perhaps quickly ducking to avoid suspicion as quack imposter, or outlier. Those unflappable
outrageous nonestablishmentarian courageous plucky persons shucking mores appealed, if for no other reason, cuz both maternal and paternal grandfathers (unbeknownst to each other), nonetheless led adventurous lives during fin de siècle. Hence mine personal reasons (to imbibe the aura, dogma, karma... credit of aforementioned era centuries before dissolution of western civilization), plus nostalgia when everyday existence seemed so charmingly unencumbered with technological trappings explains such predilection. Hmm...Yah know what? Perhaps excessive pinterest would be linkedin with my atypical attire, countenance, far out groovy,... jukebox hero lingo... Just now, an instanteous afterthought forced me emphatically scratch spurious whim. One long haired oddball pencil necked geek could entail fracas, which might ratchet into major brawl. I could be forcibly recruited to carry out dirty deed done dirt cheap imprisoned, starved, tortured... Nah nah nah nah nah. Myopic demise (near sided pluperfect future) will excite a more sedate fashion. Anyway, another more apropos choice (among countless alternatives regarding young adult happening action circa approximately second decade twentieth century) best be plotted. A reedsy challenge particularly to avoid caving into naivety and innocence most difficult aspect, when electing to pinpoint what pinteresting era to sojourn centuries in past without being conspicuous. Yea, dorky bard (me) more likely got kickstarted with (NON GMO gluten free) instant karma. He became instantaneously modest wiseacre to save his raw posterior hide, and sidestep any brouhaha, thus considering, favoring, leaning in... toward booming, fledgling lurching safe urban population, which offered greater anonymity. Whew, there ought tubby an App for that! Less cumbersome the actual supercalifragilisticexpialidocious business hotmail joyously launched quicker than greased lightning.
Lemme loop back (with half sashay) attempting to interleave/weave how sedentary seated (or supine) twenty fourth century Homo sapiens by George got rocketed involving combination platter repurposed materials (thus solving pollution) concomitantly with power of positive thinking. As roughly sketched above alluding to one unnamed aspiring scribe referenced at start and throughout document, his digitization occurred later than individuals born free and clear today. In utero
laparoscopy helps affix nearly microscopic microchips bathed with plethora of bots. These latter programmed at appropriate stages of chronological, intellectual i.e. mental, physical and spiritual development predicated on each individual timetable edging toward maturation. Upon confluence when all facets attain high water mark insync (understood each aspect of personhood reaches peak performance at various and sundry different phases of growth) relevant instructional scripts (analogous to trip wire) activate suitable risks, which includes transcending Newtonian and Einsteinian physics.
No matter the ability to upend long outdated obsolete physical principle that father time known to flow within more than one linear direction, the palpable excitement to bridge invisible medium always induced goosebumps. Despite traversing, upending, vanquishing once inviolable cosmological constant entrenched fact, the means to trespass into abstract chronological ethereal fluid risked the tiniest, slightest, minutest... accidental alteration of future events. Essentially, one needed to become
invisible to avoid triggering random series chain of unfortunate events (provoking wrath of Lemony Snicket), that would subsequently, profoundly, inordinately... offset the very existence of, (and put at stake) the person at question i.e. myself in this instance.
Herewith the following, a minor digression about Biofeedback treatment I underwent merely to inform reader how severe psychological woe jackknifed psyche, whereby microchips purchased at local five and dime implanted at select subsurface obscure (rant hissed) areas on the numbed skull regarding yours truly, wherein ample golden locks of hair easily hid infinitesimal slightly projecting electrode nodes at said strategic sites. These administered by biz zen teen looking master android compatibility, friendly, ideally... matched robots representative adroitly practiced with technique to help me manage severely riddled, plagued, disabled... with immobilizing panic attacks. An inherent neurochemical mutation (anomaly) triggered frequent surges of adrenaline as though legitimate threat existed. Naturally, these paralyzing bouts arose most inconveniently and unexpectedly. When else?
Aforementioned psychological therapy purportedly helped reduce inexplicable immobilizing spasms. This mindful process most certainly preferable versus prefrontal lobotomy. I mentioned this irrelevant esoteric tidbit, cuz accident of circumstance and/or happenstance found this willing subject receptive to access (older than typical candidate) non intrusive modus operandi to alleviate inability to function, offering self as laboratory rat, thus defraying any monetary cost. Unbeknownst to me, (yet familiar to other worldly woke wanton bioengineered tricked out facilitators and administrators at King of Prussia location) pseudo hypnotic rendered entranced thru veins (ya'd need to see) doubled up as time travel experiments. An exquisite, indestructible, pliable transparent, tough as nine inch nails, airtight module automatically materialized thereby encasing hermetically sealing (present case in point), this happily oblivious voluntary candidate. I liken attest, invest, pleasant novel phenomenon experience analogous to virtual reality taken to quantum leaps minus any additional physical extraneous accouterments. Much to my former young life frustration, dismay, bewilderment... awkward social situations of mine earlier afflicted existence violated, trampled, rushed pell mell as proving grounds, since physiological provocations erupted when amidst madding crowd. Said life like scenarios invariably triggered body electric to convulse with agitation concomitantly unleashing vertigo, rapid heartbeat, profuse perspiration, nausea...
Upon guided meditative pronouncement, the hour long session seemed to flash within blink of eye. The duration of said minor mind over matter deterrent eventually helped me remember softly tinder autogenic words/ phrases to induce lightness of being. Matter of fact, I got electronically recorded disc implanted (as iterated above), albeit tweezered (tingling scalp, yet negating, neutralizing, nullifying,... the above regularly slated treatments think tabula rasa), whereby soothing voice softly constantly uttered instructions to follow while in restful pose. No matter novice practitioners encouraged me to allocate regular daily block of time, I silently agreed, since this writer wannabe suffered lack of gainful employment and eagerly looked forward to self discipline. Initially, I felt self conscious despite nary a soul within earshot as the disembodied voice iterated auto suggestive calm sedate utterances. Similar to feeling cast adrift, (akin to buoy bobbing at sea), fleeting indistinguishable images flashed across expansive field of wakeful dreams. Impossible to discern illusory versus reality. Faint familiarity of unpleasant stressful situations (just shy of physical altercations) jogged, nee forced memory to confront painful emotionally jarring, provocatively upsetting suppressed boyhood recollections. Humble apology how the above non sequitur may not ideally dovetail with first paragraph, mine body electric mauled, gripped, assaulted... with uncontrollable paroxysms, that convinced me, I got cursed with a worse fate than death.
Exposure therapy contrived to emulate quasi real perilous, nebulous, incongruous, amorphous... uncomfortable encounters roofly upset virtuous petsmart wellbeing. Repurposing these simulated confrontations (ever so realistic) into positive happening spurred following whim. The name of this newfound game entailed testing comfort zones. Bill leave me you, I decided to deliberate regarding where thick crowds would evoke paramount jangled nerves. Though country bumpkin at heart, while supine, as iterated above, I immediately ditched former notion regarding journeying to one horse town as safe bet. Ache cannot point to appendix, nor spleen powerful draw prevailed for the Marsh Hill Writer's Block Island in general and Reedsy Village in particular, especially during so called lion eye zing roaring twenties. Hence when ascending into disembodied, free floating, gloriously heady, ionosphere Jovian, Kantian, Leviathan neverland outlook.
When eager to return home, one simply clicks (red dee) heels. A flash followed by poof returns hypothetical beastie boy, foo fighter, goo goo doll,... (during post - age of Parry Hotter wizardry) back to the House at Pooh Corner, or whenever he/she took their embarkation.