52 comments

Crime Suspense Thriller

TW: mental illness, suicide

She sat on her cold bathroom floor, weeping in despair, wondering if she would ever be able to escape the darkness within her. The black cloud inside of her eating her up like a vulture. Weeping slowly turned into a loud cry when she heard her Aunt Marie scream.

“Siera?! Your mother is in labour”.

“Huh what?” murmured Siera, looking at herself in the mirror. In the blur of the moment, she wiped off her melted mascara, trying to fix herself into looking rather presentable.

Taking two steps at a time, she ran down the stairs. Upon reaching downstairs, she walked around the house to look for her mother and aunt. She entered the garage and found herself walking into a pool of blood. It was her mother’s! She immediately called her aunt Marie, but the ringing tone was a flat beep. Siera lay right next to the blood puddle- the beep echoing into her ears, disseminating an aura of fearful imagination, where the flat dialing tone transfigured into a flat line on the monitor next to her mother. Anxiety was reaching its height and the horror of losing her only parent was choking her to death.

The phone rang back at last, and her series of imagination got disrupted as Aunt Marie asked her to rush to the community hospital.

Trembling and sobbing, poor Siera reached the hospital. Running inside like a madman where she saw her aunt crying like a baby. Aunt Marie ran towards her and gave her a long, tight, homely hug. It was strange- the hug- Aunt Marie never hugged.

“It is a boy”, she said, sadly.

“WHERE IS THE EXCITEMENT? IS THE BABY OKAY? IS MAMA OKAY? WHY ARE YOU CRYING?? ARE THEY DEAD? ARE THEY ALIVE?? SAY SOMEHTING!!!” Siera questioned in fear.

“The fa..face..”

“What face..? what is wrong with the face? Asks Siera.

She rushes inside of the intensive care unit and witnesses their fate.

Siera, on the verge of having a panic attack, tried her best to stay composed and to be there for her mother. The scrutiny of the boy’s rare facial deformity took respite.

A few days passed. The shock of the baby’s abnormality escaped their minds and they were head over heels in love. Baby Sean had the attention of all three beautiful, exuberant ladies around him. Little did he know how miserable his elder sister was from the inside.

Aunt Marie and mama were so occupied with Sean, making sure he never felt any less of a human being for having a face that was not considered normal. Their world revolved around the baby, whilst Siera was nearly invisible for them; her anxiety, depression, self-harm, and emotional trauma remained unnoticed. Every time she gathered up the courage to ask for help, the conversation somehow turned towards Sean. She wished her condition to be physical- to be apparent- to be seen, for it is only bodily deformities and scars that tend to validate the severity of pain. She considered Sean lucky to have had a disease that the world could see, recognize and comprehend. She loved him dearly, but the ignorance she faced from her mother and aunt was an unconscious blame on his existence. It was the last thing she wanted, to feel any kind of hatred towards him. He was her only joy.

Years passed by with surgery on surgery for Sean. His face was getting better with time and treatments, whereas Siera’s mental condition only worsened. She would buy antidepressants from the local grocery store without any prescriptions and would nibble them like candies. The urge to defeat the monster overpowering her existence was taking over her sanity. She was going foolishly above and beyond to escape the darkness, yet escaped treatment at the same time. From excessive dosage of sleeping pills to cuts on her thighs and arms, she was losing it.

It was Sunday morning, she had turned 18. Little one on his tiny toes ran upstairs to wish his ‘darling’ sister a happy birthday. Looking for her underneath the bed, behind the door, on top of the shelf and below the carpet, little Sean stood there confused but thrilled to start the morning with hide and seek. Overly excited, dancing around the room and singing the birthday song, he heard the water dripping from the bathroom. Maybe she is showering, he wondered.

After impatiently waiting for ten minutes, with no sound and movement from the inside, he tries calling her out.

“Siera?? Siera?? Are you there, birthday girl? Come on come on you are taking too much time!” The door slightly creaks and Sean peaks in. He found her. Little one frighteningly jumps on top of her sister. 

“Sean! Come downstairs for breakfast, honey!!” said his mom.

The air resonated no sound, almost worrying the mother if Sean was playing with mud again. She goes upstairs. Casually walks up the stairways while calling out his name.

“Seany where you at darling? I have some treats for you, come to mama!”

No reply still. She worriedly rushes into Siera’s room to ask her. Upon entering an empty room, she feels a horrific silence she has never experienced before. Nervousness seeps through her pores as she proceeds forward with her footsteps- quietly and cautiously towards the bathroom door which is half open. 

A gasp left her lips as she stood still there at the entrance of the bathroom. Her heart ripped in two, her soul exits her body. Her trembling hands covered her mouth as a sob escaped past her lips, followed by a cry and she finally let go of all the misery she felt inside and cried for what she saw.

There, the siblings lay peacefully, in the bathtub- lifeless. Sean drowned in the tub full of water, on his sister’s lap. Siera’s arms leaning out of the tub, her wrist cut open, life dripping out. In a pool of blood she laid, which was hers this time, seeking death as refuge. 

January 23, 2021 22:06

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52 comments

Zeenat Dilawar
01:55 Jan 26, 2021

I got chills wow!! This is so incredibly deep and emotional. Really love your work and can’t wait to read more of your stories. 👌🏼

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Hamza Sher
23:03 Jan 25, 2021

Brilliant. Amazing work and what skilfully crafted. ❤️ Just when you think it may be getting into predictable territory it hits you hard. You did yourself proud and left the readers gripped with emotions. Cant wait to read more from you.

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Usman Fazal
22:14 Jan 25, 2021

A captivating read. Really nice work. Keep it up!

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Haris Ali
21:24 Jan 25, 2021

Very well written! The ending was heartbreaking to say the least! Keep up the fabulous work!

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Ahmad Zabir
19:39 Jan 25, 2021

Exquisite from many angles. The dynamic grip of your writing style is quite thrilling in itself and leaves the reader in awe. Absolutely loved how one can feel while reading your work, what the character must have felt. The ending was flawlessly executed. Loved it, keep it up.

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Arfa Nauman
15:56 Jan 25, 2021

Wow zaynah 😭

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Jiya Aftab
15:47 Jan 25, 2021

Beautifully written. Well done ❤️❤️❤️

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Jiya Aftab
15:47 Jan 25, 2021

Excellent 👍👍

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Zainab Noor
14:36 Jan 25, 2021

Beautiful.. Well constructed plot👍👍👍👏👏

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Hamood Khan
14:35 Jan 25, 2021

Shabash!! Proud of you ma’am!! Very Beautifully Written. You write more often!

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Bushra Kazmi
14:32 Jan 25, 2021

This story was the heart breaking💔 and little to be one too cry 😭

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Aysha Aftab
13:34 Jan 25, 2021

It just gives me goosebumps.. A well written story.... My curiosity was high while reading it as what will happen next. Loved it❤️❤️... Looking forward for more stories....

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Ehtisham Khan
12:43 Jan 25, 2021

Amazing story!! I loved the way you portrayed the main character and led him through his struggles. This is really a piece of artwork.. Simply Beautiful ❤️!!!!

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Iffah Mughal
10:41 Jan 25, 2021

Ohh this was wonderful! The tense opening was a perfect introduction to Sierra's mental state and her slowly deteriorating condition was so realistically done. Loved the way you portrayed the apparent vs hidden illnesses and how only the apparent was given focus causing further deterioration in the Hidden. The ending was abrupt and quick just like the ending of the siblings lives which made it so tragic. I loved this so much. Beautifully written.

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Raafik Minhas
17:39 Jan 24, 2021

Ohh that literally scared the hell out of me. Totally amazed by the very unexpected end. Good going. Looking forward to more of your stuff :)

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Isma Mohammad
11:42 Jan 24, 2021

SO MUCH SUSPENSE AND THRILL IN SUCH A SHORT STORY!!!! DAMNNN. It was simply wonderful. I couldn't help reading fast in anticipation to what would happen next. Full of emotions and explanations. Loved it Zaynahhhh😌🌻💖

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Maha Fatima
11:33 Jan 24, 2021

A tragic story, yet so beautifully written. Your writing is so captivating. I'll be looking forward to your upcoming work.

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Maham Butt
09:21 Jan 24, 2021

Great job 🌹 very beautifully written 🌹❤

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Ansa Butt
09:10 Jan 24, 2021

Well written 🌸💞

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Menahil Sajjad
09:04 Jan 24, 2021

Wonderfully written🙌

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