Secrets

"His whole life, Ronald was in his temporary home. He is now in his real home with the Lord. He is resting in peace. Ronald would not want everyone to be sorry for him, or to cry and grieve. He would want all of us to be happy for him, for he is now in a better place with our Father. We love you, Ronald. Amen."

"Amen." Eileen stayed sitting as everyone else stood up and went to the lobby, most likely to talk about all of the good times with Ronny.

"Eileen, correct?" Eileen looked up and the pastor was looking down at her.

"Yes, Pastor Gene." Pastor Gene sat down next to her in the front pew and sighed.

"I know how you feel. My brother passed away when I was just a few years older than you. He was my younger brother as well, and I had practically raised him with how busy our father had been. I felt guilty, but I wasn't around when..." Eileen looked to her left, where Pastor Gene was, and he had tears rolling down his face.

"What happened?" Eileen was interested now.

"He jumped off a bridge."

"I know that's how Ronald died." Eileen raised her eyebrows; she thought that no one knew except her small family circle.

"Your mother told me. I cried once she left. No one-except for you now-knows that my brother died from his own doing. Your mother didn't know that... Well, I better go in the room. Don't feel forced to go in there, stay here if that's the way you deal with it. And if you need to cry, let it out. It's the best way to get over your emotions." And with that, Pastor Gene got up and went to talk with everyone else.

Eileen was not a crying type, and had been to several funerals before this but never cried. She cried this time.

With tears in her eyes, Eileen walked up to the casket and stared at her little Ronny's face. So young. How did he even know to do it? Why didn't he come to Eileen like he always did? How long was he planning it? How long did he feel like he had to do it? Did he feel like he had to do it at all? Did he realize people would miss him?

Eileen put her hands on the edge of the casket and leaned over Ronald's body. She kissed him on the forehead one last time and closed the lid.

---

Eileen stood at the end of her driveway, shading her eyes from the bright sun. The slight breeze relieved her, and her dress flowed. She looked left and right, searching for any cars before she crossed the street. When it was clear, Eileen looked straight forward and was about to start walking when she stopped and stood still.

"Ronny?!" There he was; standing right across the street from her, smiling. Eileen's face broke into a smile as well and her mind raced. Her heart raced, and she wondered how it could be possible. But it didn't matter! He was here! She started to run across the road to meet him. She was halfway to him when she felt something hit her side hard. Before she could even feel the pain, everything went black.

---

"Here we are again. With another passing of a young adult. Eileen was a beautiful young woman, and did not deserve to pass away the way she did. The man or woman who did this-who did not stop to try to help, but ran-will be punished. Now please join me in a prayer for the memory of Eileen." Johanna smirked as she closed her eyes and "prayed" with Pastor Gene. When everyone said "Amen.", Johanna stayed sitting and waited for Pastor Gene to notice and come over. He sat down next to her in the front pew; just like he did with Eileen just weeks ago.

"I can't keep your secret forever, you know. As a pastor myself, this is something I should not be involved with, and I regret it. I don't know what you want me to do. The Lord forgives everyone for everything, but I don't think that Eileen's mother would forgive you if someone just happened to reveal the truth to her." Deception was not Pastor Gene's normal go-to, but needed to get Johanna to listen to him.

"What do I need to do?" Johanna listened as Pastor Gene whispered his whole plan in her ear.

---

Dear Diary,

This is Johanna again. I killed Pastor Gene yesterday. I killed Eileen three weeks ago. I killed Ronald six weeks ago. I don't know why, but I'm starting to feel guilty. But these were my orders. My mission. I had no choice. I can't let Daddy know that I'm guilty though. He would get rid of me then. He needs me to be loyal. Daddy needs me to do his work for him. Until he gets out of jail, that is. Then we'll be partners. Then why do I still feel guilty?

-Johanna

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Dear Diary,

This is Johanna. And for the last time. Daddy is getting out of jail tomorrow, and I will help him get settled. Then once he is ready to live by himself again and do his work, I will get rid of myself. I am going to give you to Daddy, so he knows what happened and why. I hope that he can forgive me, for he will be working solo. Even if I was still here, I would have left him. The guilt is too severe anymore. I destroyed Eileen and Ronald's family. They are heartbroken, and many people have gone into a depression. And it's all because of me. I can't believe I let Daddy make me do all of these things. It's awful. Goodbye for the last time.

-Johanna

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Dear Diary,

I told you that my last entry would be my last, but my plan didn't work. It was midnight when I went to the bridge, but guess who was there? Eileen and Ronald's mother. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but she saw me. I tried to jump, but she got to me before I could. That lady has a firm grip. She held onto me. That's why I'm here today. And I'm in a home for teenagers who have gone through things that have messed with them. Once I'm better I will go to juvy. But I deserve it. I will keep you, Diary. I promise. Talk later.

-Johanna