I was rereading my shopping list, trying to make sure I had everything when something interrupted my thoughts.

"Hello sir, are you a single man?" A loud voice from behind me asked. Unsure of what do, I answered,

"That's a strange question. Why do you need to know?"

"First of all, I'm the manager of the store-"

"That doesn't give you permission to interrogate my personal life." I interrupted. I am a very private person, you see.

"You didn't let me finish," argued the store manager, "as I was saying, I'm the store manager here, our store is a sister company with a game show called Lovebirds. Ever heard of it?"

"It sounds familiar, but if this a charity for saving dying companies, I'm not interested."

"No, no, all I need to know is if you're single or not. By the fact that you don't have a ring, I'm assuming you're not married, but I need to know for sure."

"Fine, I'm single, and I'm not looking either." At that moment, the store manager's face appeared upset but quickly returned to his annoying, obviously fake, cheesy grin. 

"Well, congratulations, you are our ten-thousandth male customer to enter this store. Isn't that great?"

"It depends. Do I win the satisfaction of you leaving me alone?" I asked cold-heartedly. 

"No, you win a chance to be on Lovebirds, the favourite game show of North America," answered the manager a little too hopefully.

"Oh," I sighed. 

"Can you be here tomorrow at ten o'clock?"

"Fine," I mumbled looking to end the conversation so I could finish my grocery shopping.

***

The next morning I tried to recall what I had been feeling when I'd begrudgingly agreed to be on Lovebirds. I wasn't even sure what I was getting into so I did a quick search on the internet to find out more. Basically, a man and a woman would get to know each other in a month, and at the end of the month, they would get asked questions about each other to see how well they knew one another. It seemed like a stupid show, but I had already committed to being there, so I thought I might give it a try. 

After putting on my best tie and chugging a mug of coffee, I drove back to the store.

"Hello, Phillip," the store manager said brightly.

"So, what do I do?" I asked, wanting to get to the point.

"I simply lead you to a back room," he said as he walked swiftly through the store, "and I open the door, where you meet the love of your life." The manager swung the door open to reveal the prettiest woman I had ever seen. 

"Hi, Phillip," she said, but I could hardly hear the words because I was drowning in her ocean-blue eyes. I stared at her, speechless, at least until I noticed her giving me a strange look.

"Oh, oh, hi," I could feel my face turning red, "My name's Phillip."

"I know, I just said your name," she answered. I became suddenly aware of the smirk on the store manager's face at that moment. 

"What's your name?" I asked, hoping to pass this embarrassing moment.

"Rebecca Farmer," She stated with so much confidence I forgot the manager was there for a moment, but sadly, only a moment because right after that, he said,

"I'm gonna leave you two lovebirds alone."  

"Right, Lovebirds!" Rebecca exclaimed with a gleam in her eye, "I'm so excited that we get to be on Lovebirds together. I watch Lovebirds so much. I know all about it. Do you watch Lovebirds?"

"Not really. I watched one episode this morning on the internet, so I could see what I was getting into."

"Oh, well, then you're lucky I did my research, or we would never win." 

"Do they ever repeat questions? What are the common things they ask on this show?"

"Oh, anything. Honestly, to win, we learn each other's vibe."  

"Each other's vibe?" 

"For example, you seem like a grumpy dude, so I'll assume you would choose to live in the city, not the country."

"First of all, I am not grumpy, and second of all, what does being grumpy have to do with being in the city?" 

"Well, typically, people who live in the country work on farms, and I think you would be too grumpy to wake up at five o'clock in the morning to milk cows."

"Okay, I'm catching on. I'm assuming that you live in the country because your last name is Farmer."

"No, actually, I'm more of a city girl."

"Oh."  

"When do you want to meet up to get to know each other for Lovebirds?"

"How does tomorrow sound?"

"Sounds great. Where?" 

"My house, six pm. I can take you out to dinner, and then we can catch a movie."

"Awesome, see you tomorrow."

***

As soon as I got home, I took a shower, clipped my nails, worked out (a lot), took another shower, combed my hair, and for some reason, I ate the healthiest meal I've ever had. I had beans, carrots, spinach, broccoli, kale, peas, and brussels sprouts all in a big salad. It was the most disgusting thing I ever tasted. I went to bed early. I woke up the next morning at five-thirty. I hadn't woken up that early since I was ten. I was feeling great (and a little sore from the workout.) I went to work, anticipating at six o'clock that evening. My shift ended at five o'clock, so I went home and put on my best suit. I searched for fancy restaurants on my computer. I settled on a place called El Comida. But, when Rebecca got there forty-five minutes later, she had other ideas.

"I want to go to a place called The Mill," she explained, "My granddad knew a family who lived there once. It was their dream to turn their house into a diner. Their dream happened. Today it is a restaurant, my favourite one in fact."

"That's cool," I answered. 

"Ya."

We got in the car, and she gave me directions to The Mill.

"So, obviously, we can't ask all the questions in the world, but let's ask as many as we can. After we get the gist of what each other will answer, we can guess what each other will say," she said. Rebecca had obviously put deep thought into our game plan, "and, I called Jerry-"

"Who's Jerry?" I interrupted as negative scenarios flashed through my head. Could she be dating someone else? 

"The store manager that arranged for us to be on Lovebirds together," Rebecca explained casually. I felt guilty for not asking his name now and embarrassed that I was so quick to mentally jump to conclusions about Rebecca. 

"I'll ask the first question," she said, "if you could get any free car, what one would you get?"

"Oh, that's a hard one, but I guess I'd have to say a Bugatti. How about you?" 

"Honestly, I don't think I would want to drive around in a flashy car. I don't really like very fancy stuff. I would choose a brand new Honda."

"That's good to know. Should I take notes?"

"No, but notice how I dropped a tiny bit of information about myself there? I don't really like very fancy stuff. So you can use that tidbit of information to our advantage. If they ask you something like 'Does your date prefer fancy restaurants over casual restaurants?' You could answer 'no' and be correct because you heard me say I don't like fancy stuff." Rebecca explained.

"Ah!," I answered, "How does this game show work anyway?"

"Two contestants (you and me) are put in separate rooms, we fill in answers about ourselves for about twenty-five questions. We then give those papers to the judges, and, staying in the separate rooms, we get another piece of paper that we fill in about our partner. Make sense?" 

"Kind of," I answered.

"So, basically we just need to fill in answers about each other on a slip of paper after filling in answers about ourselves on a different piece of paper, so the judges know what our answers would be."

"That makes a little more sense."

"Good, because that's the best I can explain it."

We continued to ask questions about each other until we got to The Mill.

"Now I see why they call it The Mill," I commented, "It looks exactly like a windmill. I've driven by here before, and I thought it was just some old antique store or something. I hate antique stores."

"Why is that?" Rebecca asked.

"Because a lot of the stuff has been used, and a lot of the stuff is old, and we have better versions of them now. I don't know, they just seem dusty, and I am allergic to dust. In my opinion, antique stores are useless."

"I really like antique stores," Rebecca said.

"Well, then, no offence."

"None taken," Rebecca replied, but I could see a flash of hurt in her eyes. Some women need to be less sensitive. 

We had a nice lunch at The Mill and then went to see a movie. I let her choose which one and she picked a comedy called The Ringer for us to watch.... actually, Rebbeca watched the comedy while I watched Rebecca. I was smitten.

Over the next few days, Rebecca and I went out quite a bit. I learned that Rebecca prefers salty and savoury over sweet, she loves art and writing, she loves cherry flavoured candy, turquoise is her favourite colour, she likes books and board games and hates screens. She is an amazing dancer, but not the best singer, and she loves people. I hoped that she learned as much about me as I did her.

Eight days after we met, we were called into the Lovebirds studio to video us at a date. They had a room set up as a fancy restaurant. We had to go on a date there, and they videoed us eating. It was weird. I wonder how Rebbeca likes this? I thought remembering that she says she didn't like fancy. We sat there looking romantic while they videoed us. We met like that about once a week.

On the day of the actual competition, I was so nervous that I would get the wrong answers and make us lose, but Rebecca was calm and happy like usual, which made me feel me little better. On the way there, we did a quick review of each other.

"Okay, so, I'm allergic to peaches, I can rollerblade, I'm very academic, I love doing laundry, but I hate the dishes." Rebecca reminded me.

"Right, and I have an extremely long middle toe, I'm techy, but I couldn't paint a decent looking picture if it killed me, I seem to be prone to warts, but immune to mosquito bites, and I'm really bad at thinking of things about myself off the top of my head, so that's all I've got."

"Well, now if they ask me which one of your toes is longest, I'll know the answer." She laughed.

"Okay," I said as I got out of the car. I felt really nervous. When I got into the building, I saw about five or six couples. Rebecca walked over to talk to one of the women, so I was left standing on my own. 

"Hi." I turned around to see a short, plump man standing behind me.

"Hello," I answered, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"This your first time here?" He asked.

"Ya, how 'bout you?" 

"Me and my fianceè have been trying to win for about a year now. We've been dating, and I asked her to marry me, and since this is for dating couples only, this is our last time here. I really hope we win because if we do, it'll give us some pretty nice funding for our marriage."

"How much is the prize money, anyway?"

"Ten thousand dollars."

"Oh wow," I answered as a lady walked into the room. 

"I need Jasper Clark and Katherine Hampton to follow me," She called out.

"Oh, that's me. I should go."

"Okay, bye."

I wandered over to Rebecca who had apparently been talking to the fiancée, Katherine. She was now wandering aimlessly through the room.

I went to stand with her and we discussed more things about each other.

"So, do you know that I have a huge obsession with clipping my toenails?" I asked

"I do now," Rebecca answered, "I have a secret fear of hot sauce."

"Okay, good to know," I laughed, "I have a fear of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of my mouth." 

"I can burp the ABC's," she continued

"So can I," I boasted proudly, "Want me to show you?" I teased.

"I love all animals except for wolverines because a wolverine attacked my dad once, put him in the hospital, needed six stitches," Rebecca informed.

"You even like raccoons?"

"Even raccoons."

"Okay."

We did that for about fifteen minutes when Jasper and Katherine walked in looking both relieved and nervous.

"Can I have Phillip and Rebecca up next?" The same lady who called Jasper and Katherine asked.

"That's us," Rebecca answered.

We followed the lady down a long corridor at the end of the hall, there were two doors next to each other on the right. I was told to go in one room, and Rebecca was placed in the other. I was handed a piece of paper. I was told these were the questions that Rebecca would answer about me. I filed it in.

Your full name: Phillip Lesly Collins

Your Birthday: Oct 14th, 1994

How old you are: 28

Your biggest fear: Getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of my mouth

Your favourite fruit: Papayas

What is your career: Engineer

1. Who is your hero? Rebecca Farmer
2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? With Rebbeca
3. What was the last movie you went to? The Ringer
4. What did you want to be when you were small? An astronaut
5. What makes you laugh the most? Rebecca
6. What really makes you angry? The zit cream commercials
7. What motivates you to work hard? Rebecca
8. What is your favourite thing about your career? I get to think of creative ways to make houses
9. What is your biggest accomplishment in your job? The day I was the main guy who made the blueprints for a mansion
10. What is your proudest accomplishment? Being the ten-thousandth male customer in my local grocery store (This led me to meet Rebecca)

Would you rather:

• Would you rather lose the ability to read or lose the ability to speak? The ability to read
• Would you rather be in jail for a year or lose a year off your life? Lose a year of my life
• Would you rather always be 10 minutes late or always be 20 minutes early? 20 minutes early
• Would you rather have all traffic lights you approach be green or never have to stand in line again? Never stand in line again
•  Would you rather be able to dodge anything no matter how fast it’s moving or be able to ask any three questions and have them answered accurately? Dodge anything

The easy part of the test was over, it was time to move on to the hard part. I was handed the test. It had the exact same questions!

Her full name: Rebeca Farmer

Her Birthday: July 4th, 1993 (I know, it's ironic)

How old is she: 24

Her biggest fear: Hotsauce

Her favourite fruit: peaches

What is her career: Employed at a playgroup

1. Who is her hero? Phillip Collins
2. If she could live anywhere, where would it be? With Phillip?
3. What was the last movie she went to? The Ringer
4. What did she want to be when she was small? A lawyer
5. What makes her laugh the most? jokes
6. What really makes her angry? When people don't listen (I listened to you say that)
7. What motivates her to work hard? The satisfaction of getting a job done.
8. What is her favourite thing about her career? Seeing kids
9. What is her biggest accomplishment in her job? When she sewed a stuffed bear, and they actually made copies of it to sell.
10. What is her proudest accomplishment? Being the ten-thousandth female customer in her local grocery store (This led her to meet Phillip)

Would she rather:

• Would she rather lose the ability to read or lose the ability to speak?  The ability to read
• Would she rather be in jail for a year or lose a year off your life? A year in jail
• Would she rather always be 10 minutes late or always be 20 minutes early? 20 minutes early
• Would she rather have all traffic lights you approach be green or never have to stand in line again? Green lights
•  Would she rather be able to dodge anything no matter how fast it’s moving or be able to ask any three questions and have them answered accurately? Dodge anything

At the end of the test, we went home. We wouldn't find out who won for a whole week.

One week later, the results were mailed to us. We decided to go out for dinner, and when we got the dessert, we would open the letter to see who won. The whole meal I was dying to see who one. after we ordered our desserts, I took out the envelope and opened it.

We are proud to announce that the winners of this month's Lovebirds gameshow competition are Rebecca Farmer and Phillip Collins... 

I glanced at Rebecca, she was crying, but it wasn't happy tears, those tears were sad.

"It's all my fault!" She blurted then ran out of the restaurant.

To be continued...

Gameshow questions come from

https://www.signupgenius.com/groups/getting-to-know-you-questions.cfm

and

https://conversationstartersworld.com/would-you-rather-questions/