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Funny

The Fortune Cookie

“It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.”

-Yogi Berra

Because most people don’t have the answer, they make every effort to avoid the question. Marty had no answers, but he was obsessed with the question. It is generally phrased as "What is the meaning of my life?" Marty liked to simplify things, and he regularly asked himself, "Why am I here?"

Guided by a well-intentioned father, Marty’s first plan was to get a college degree, make a decent living, and acquire a lot of stuff. He did all those things and yet felt unfulfilled.

Marty’s mother was a bit more of a romantic and emphasized the importance of love in one’s life. “Find your true love, Marty, marry her, and raise a family. That is happiness.” He did all those things, and he still felt unfulfilled.

“Unfulfilled” tends to magnify itself as the clock makes its rounds. It can consume the idle mind- Marty’s children were grown, focused on their own lives, and they all lived out of state. (He constantly reminded himself of a bit of wisdom imparted to him by his late grandfather- “Enjoy your children. You raise them; you don’t get to keep them.”)

Susan, Marty’s wife of thirty-seven years died three years ago leaving him alone to contemplate the mysteries of life. Susan found comfort at the end because she knew there was an afterlife. She was a true believer. Marty had no such comfort because, despite the best efforts of his wife and Father Mel, Marty couldn’t get there. He had his doubts. Marty was sixty-five and healthy. He figured (hoped) he had another ten years to come up with an answer to the nagging question of why he was here.

“Marty, what do you say? Chinese at Wally’s tonight?”

Susan and Marty had been regulars at Wally’s, and sad memories came with every meal. But he liked Chinese food, and he liked Wally, so why not?

“Sounds good, Fred. I’ll pick you up six.”

Marty often reflected on the changes in his life that came with the years. He was a long way from picking his kid up from soccer practice and hitting the drive-thru at McDonald’s, but he remembered. Outings with Fred were a nice distraction.

“Fred, do you ever think about why you’re here?”

“I like Chinese food and you can be tolerable sometimes.”

“That’s not what I mean. I mean why are you on earth in the first place?

“Uh… where else could I be, Marty?”

“No, no. I mean why are you here… like what’s the purpose of your life?”

“I don’t know. I never really thought about it. I guess to have some fun, a few laughs, and enjoy life. Why do you think you’re here, Marty?”

Marty had that unsettling Holden Caufield-like feeling ever since eleventh grade English with Miss Brandt. He wanted to have a clearly delineated purpose for his life, something decidedly worthwhile, and an unmistakable contribution to this world. Maybe he couldn’t save kids from falling off a cliff, but he needed something to tell him his life mattered.

“I don’t know, Fred. I’d like to know.”

 “Good evening, gentlemen. I hope everything was to your liking.”

“It was great, Wally, like always.”

“Here, some extra fortune cookies.”

“Wally, I always meant to ask you. Wally doesn’t quite seem like a Chinese name. How come you’re a Wally?”

“My real name was always so hard to pronounce, Marty, so I just picked an easy name to use in my restaurant.”

“Well, I think I’d like to call you by your real name. What is it?”

“Xiagrui.”

“I kind of like the sound of Wally. Let’s stay with that.”

Wally laughed.

“I kind of thought so, Marty.”

“Wally, can I ask you something personal?”

“What is it?”

“You’re a Buddhist, right?

“Yes, I am a follower of the teachings of Buddha.”

“Well, can I ask you why you believe you are here?”

“Sure, I’m the owner of this place. I’m pretty much here all the time, Marty. You should know that.”

“That’s not what I mean, Wally. I’m talking about the meaning of life, why we were put on this earth.”

“Oh, that. Budda teaches that we must seek wisdom, peace, and enlightenment. It is a roadmap on how we live this life.”

“And a belief in God and an afterlife?”

“Not so much.”

Fred laughed out loud when he read his fortune.

“Help! I’m being held prisoner in a Chinese fortune cookie factory.”

“Fred, that joke is like fifty years old.”

“Oh… well it’s still funny.”

“What’s yours say?”

Marty broke open the cookie, unfurled it, and read.

“Some easy money is coming your way.”

“Sounds good. I could use some easy money.”

Marty had never bought a lottery ticket or scratch-off in his life, but his “easy money” fortune was on his mind as he passed the local convenience store. He was on autopilot as he pulled into the parking lot, entered the store, and purchased a $1.00 scratch-off ticket. At home, he sat down at his kitchen table, pulled a dime out of his pocket, and rubbed away at the numbers on his ticket. It was an easy $1,000.00.

“Fred! My forune cookie came true!”

“What?”

“I won $1,000.00! $1,000.00!”

“No way.”

“Way. I’m not kidding. My fortune said I’d be coming into some easy money so I stopped and bought a scratch-off ticket and I won $1,000.00!”

“That’s great, Marty… and, well… I think I should get some.”

“What? Why do you think you should get some?”

“Well, I was with you when you got it, and I’m the one who told you to read it.”

“Good luck with that, Fred.”

Marty was stunned by the coincidence. A fortune cookie predicting easy money and hours later $1,000.00 falls into his lap. Remarkably, the easy money was bittersweet for Marty. He was happy to have the money, but he lamented the fact Susan wasn’t around to help him spend it. They could have taken a dream vacation or built the deck off the back of the house that Susan always wanted. He felt he could have, and should have found a way to do the deck. He imagined the two of them sitting out on that deck on a warm summer evening, watching the sunset and listening to the birds at the feeder. Every so often Marty shed a tear over his loss. Tonight was one of those times.

Contemplation of the death of another often triggers reflection on one’s own mortality. Marty drifted back into the world of questions without answers. If there was a God, why did He put us here just to die in the end? What’s the point of it all? His troubled mind took him back to Miss Brandt’s English class. Was he just part of a tale told by an idiot signifying nothing? He had tried so hard to find the same faith Susan had. That would have made it all so much easier. He’d die someday, but he would be reunited with his dear sweet Susan, and they would spend a blissful eternity together.

Plants die off in the fall but pop up every spring. Why aren’t people afforded the same luxury? Marty’s mind swirled around the meaning of his life. The topic tends to take center stage as one nears the finish line. He tried to recall the words of Father Mel. Maybe he missed something that would have persuaded him to join Susan in the ranks of the true believers.

The Thursday night all-you-can-eat special at Wally’s became a reliable distraction for Marty. The $1,000.00 windfall made the event even more attractive.

“What are you having, Marty?”

“I think I’ll go with the pepper steak, Fred.”

“Why don’t you try something else, Marty? You always have the pepper steak.”

“I like the pepper steak.”

“But you might like something else.”

“But I might not like it.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

The fortune cookie at the end of the meal had been of no consequence. Now it was the evening’s centerpiece.

“What’s yours say, Fred?”

“A new romance is on the horizon.”

“Your wife will be interested in that.”

“What’s yours, Marty? Another five big ones?”

“Nope, generic like yours. ‘You will make a new friend soon.’ That’s good because I’m getting a little tired of the friends I have.”

“Very funny.”

Marty was marginally disappointed on the ride home. After last week’s blockbuster prediction and windfall, he was hoping for better news from his fortune cookie. He smiled when he recalled the silly saying he often inflicted upon his children- “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, the other’s gold.”

As Marty got out of his car, he noticed a small kitten sitting in his front yard. The kitten followed Marty to his front door, rubbed up against his leg, and looked up at him with pleading eyes. Marty reached into his coat pocket, rubbed his fortune cookie message between his fingers, and carried his new friend into the house.

“Fred! It happened again!”

“What’s that?”

“I have a new friend! Just like the fortune cookie said.”

“Good for you, Marty. You can tell me about it tomorrow. I’m watching the Bears on TV right now.”

“This is a big deal, Fred. My fortune cookie is two for two! A kitten was waiting for me when I got home, and he’s my new friend!”

“A stupid cat? That is a good friend for you. It won’t have to listen to your nonsense.”

An uncanny streak of Thursday night fortune cookie predictions coming true followed.

“Your hard work will pay off.”

Marty got a raise at work the next day.

“A pleasant surprise awaits you.”

That very night the little neighbor girl delivered Marty’s Girl Scout cookies.

“It’s a good time to finish old tasks.”

That weekend Marty finally repaired the fence along his back lot line.

“That doesn’t count, Marty. You finished the fence after the fortune cookie told you to do it.”

“It counts, Fred. It’s like magic. Whatever the cookie says, it will happen. The proof is in the pudding, Fred.”

“You really think a fortune cookie controls what happens in your life?”

Without hesitation…

“Yes, I do.”

Whether it was a series of remarkable coincidences or self-fulfilling prophecies, the predictions continued to materialize. Marty’s faith in the power of the cookie could not be shaken. On occasion, he was tempted to ask Wally for extra cookies, but he didn’t want to tempt fate by appearing greedy. Once he cheated by cracking open the fortune cookie before dinner, but then he was too excited to even think about eating.

“I feel like the cookie has something special in store for me tonight, Fred. I think I’ll go with chicken fried rice tonight, you know, to make the whole evening a little more special.”

Fred rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, chicken fried rice. That does sound special.”

After dinner, Marty didn’t pounce on the cookie like normal. He studied it on the table before him, and then picked it up and tenderly held it in both hands. He was savoring the moment.

“I can’t take it anymore! Open the freaking cookie!”

 “Alright already. Don’t get your undies in a bundle, Fred.”

Marty opened the cookie, but ever so slowly. He held the message face down in his fingers and wondered what his future would look like. Marty could feel the power. He flipped the message over and stared at it. He looked at Fred and then back down at the small slip of paper in his hand.

“Well, what does it say?”

Marty could hardly speak the words.

“You will believe.”

“That’s it? You will believe? Believe in what?”

“Believe, you know, believe in God, a life hereafter, Heaven, eternal life.”

“You got that out of your cookie?”

“What else could it mean, Fred?”

Marty stood up, raised his arms in the air, and shouted.

“I’m a believer!”

Wally rushed over to their table.

“Marty, we don’t do Karaoke here.”

“What?”

“Weren’t you doing that old Monkeys song, ‘I’m a believer’? It sounded like it.”

“No, Wally. I’m a believer, a real believer.”

“In what?”

‘God, Heaven… all that good stuff.”

“That’s nice, Marty, but try not to scare the other customers.”

It was a different man behind the wheel of Marty’s car that night. He felt calm, at peace with himself, all those good things that accrue to true believers. Marty believed he was a believer, and maybe that was enough.

“Good morning, Wally. It was nice to see you at mass this morning. I haven’t seen you since... well, I haven’t seen you for a long time.”

“Oh, I’ll be a regular now, Father. You see, I’m a believer now.”

“Really. That’s great news, Wally. And what made you see the light, my son?”

“It was my fortune cookie, Father. It said I was a believer. I got it at Wally’s, the Chinese restaurant on 3rd Street”

Father Mel was trying to digest the path this Prodigal son took to find the faith.

“I’ve heard of people finding God in all sorts of places and under many different conditions, but never with a fortune cookie in a Chinese restaurant. How’d that happen, Wally? You said it was a fortune cookie?”

 “Yes, Father, I found out that whatever my fortune cookie says will happen actually does happen to me. So if my fortune cookie says I’m a believer, then I’m a believer.”

Father Mel was happy to have another addition to his flock, but he was uncomfortable with Marty’s motivation.

“Marty, I’m glad to see you at church this morning, but I’m not sure a message in a fortune cookie should be the foundation of your faith. Maybe you are saying the fortune cookie prompted you to seek the answers, to open your mind… your heart… your soul to the Holy Spirit as you start your renewed journey to become a believer.”

“No, Father, I’m there. I am a true believer, maybe the biggest believer you’ve got. God, Heaven, an afterlife, yeah, I’m all in, Father.”

Father Mel was troubled. He didn’t doubt Marty’s sincerity. He just didn’t understand it. He had never encountered a situation like this. Marty believed but for no good reason. It was the Tin Man believing he had a heart because the Wizard of Oz gave him one. Father Mel struggled for the appropriate response. Illusory as it was, Marty felt the comfort of a true believer. Who was he to intervene?

“Welcome back, Marty. And Martha will be in the church office tomorrow morning if you’d like to stop in and pick up some contribution envelopes.”

“I’ll do that, Father.”

However he got there, Marty was now a believer. He was at peace with himself as the stress and challenges of everyday life floated off into the world of the inconsequential. Thursday nights at Wally’s continued but with one change.

“Aren’t you going to open your fortune cookie, Marty?”

“No, I don’t believe I will. I don’t need any more good things to happen to me. I’m pretty well set, Fred.”

Every night, as Marty lay in bed with Nibbles curled up next to him, he imagined being reunited with Susan, sitting on a deck in Heaven, and listening to the birds at the feeder. He smiled all through the night, even in his sleep.

































January 06, 2025 19:28

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18 comments

Ari Walker
22:20 Jan 16, 2025

Murray, This is a lovely story. I was very taken with the dialog, which is so hard to write well. You made me a believer!

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Jes Oakheart
19:49 Jan 16, 2025

Hi Murray, I was paired with you in the critique circle. This was such a delightful piece. I love how in the beginning Marty was skeptical of religion, but it was through getting real tangible proof in the fortune cookies that he turned to believing. The kitten was a super sweet piece of this story and I love that he got a new little friend. The dialogue was quick and snappy without dialogue tags, but at times I felt myself getting a bit lost. Overall, really well-written and enjoyable story! Great job!

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Mary Bendickson
01:37 Jan 15, 2025

Was it Marty or Wally talking to the Father? Nice he became a believer but I agree it needed more substance. Thanks for liking 'Help Needed'.

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Murray Burns
02:12 Jan 15, 2025

Oh my goodness...Wally/Marty... I guess I need to slow down. I can always blame it on age. Thank you for catching that. And apparently, I lack the patience and discipline for proper proofreading. I appreciate it. Thanks.

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Mary Bendickson
02:47 Jan 15, 2025

It's easy to interchange characters like that.

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Olivia Rozanski
13:24 Jan 07, 2025

Good work, although I wish my fortune cookies came true!

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Murray Burns
14:14 Jan 07, 2025

You are such a talented young person, they probably will come true.... well except for your Rams getting to the Super Bowl- they'd have to eventually play my Packers to get there.

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Olivia Rozanski
17:43 Jan 07, 2025

touche, but at least the Lions (my 2nd team) has a chance!

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Murray Burns
17:49 Jan 07, 2025

You only get one team!!!!

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Olivia Rozanski
17:10 Jan 08, 2025

Says who? Always gotta have a backup

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Murray Burns
00:08 Jan 14, 2025

Ok... I'm in mourning...my Packers lost. So I need a team, and with nowhere else to go, I will (grudgingly) be rooting for the Rams.

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Alexis Araneta
01:26 Jan 07, 2025

Sometimes, being lucky can have a down side. Lovely work !

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Lily Finch
04:06 Jan 15, 2025

The story presents several strengths that contribute to its overall effectiveness: 1. Relatable Themes: Exploring existential questions such as the meaning of life, purpose, and fulfillment resonates with many readers. Marty’s journey reflects a universal struggle that people often face, making it easy for readers to connect with his character. 2. Character Development: Marty is portrayed with depth and complexity. His reflections on life, the loss of his wife, and his relationships with friends and family create a rich character tapestry ...

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Nate Brady
22:21 Jan 15, 2025

Reported

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Lily Finch
01:45 Jan 16, 2025

I was hacked folks.

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