Cups and Balls

“I’m knackered. Glad that’s over.”

- “You? All you did was sell me out, you Judas. I had to do all the work.”

“I’m terribly sorry. I thought he was another tourist. I have a hard time getting simple directions in this city, and I speak English.”

- “Yeah, we’ve all heard it…New York sucks and everybody’s awful.”

“When I saw a tall bloke in cosplay trying to get anyone to acknowledge him, I stopped to see if I could help. He just said, ‘Show me magic,’ so I thought he was looking for a street performer.”

- “You thought that was cosplay?”

“At first, yes.”

- “And you talked to a freak that looked like that?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I have done?”

- “This ain’t London, darlin’. He coulda drug you off to an alley, and a thousand people would walk by without noticing a thing.”

“What makes you think London’s so different?”

- “I’ve performed there. Cameras everywhere. At least there you have the chance that cops are looking at the right time.”

“I wasn’t trying to involve you in anything other than entertaining another tourist. I really am sorry.”

- “You couldn’t tell how creepy he was?”

“No, he just seemed lost.”

- “Darlin’ you’s in the wrong city to have a busted creep meter. That guy set me off right away.”

“You really think someone could abduct me in broad daylight, on a crowded pavement, and no one would say anything?”

- “We disappeared from here, what, ten hours ago? And we reappeared a few minutes ago. Has anyone even looked our direction?”

“They all seem to be actively looking any other direction than this.”

- “Exactly. I need a drink. My nerves are shot.”

“I agree.”

- “Cups and balls…I can’t believe that worked.”

“You what?!”

- “What?”

“You didn’t think it would work?”

- “I didn’t have time to think past, ‘Oh, it’s that cute Brit tourist girl again, with a tall, creepy dude.’ Besides, that ain’t the point.”

“What is the point?”

- “It worked. They ain’t gonna make us slaves…yet.”

“Yet.”

- “The science types have a thousand years to figure out this magic doohickey before they come back. Maybe we’ll get real magic.”

“In your act you said magic was all make-believe.”

- “Well, I thought it was.”

“What changed your mind?”

- “How about when a big-ass space elf froze us in place and teleported us to his ship?”

“Space elf?”

- “Come on, you were thinking it.”

“I was thinking bloody Romulan, or Vulcan, but I guess that works too.”

- “You watch too much TV.”

“Maybe. I agree that I believe it’s real now, but for you, why magic? Couldn’t it just be advanced technology?”

- “Could be. But they really hammered on the whole magic thing. What convinced you?”

“The entire time on their ship I could…feel it? I don’t know how to describe it.”

- “I didn’t feel anything except scared that I’d mess up and they’d eat us or something.”

“Bloody hell. We’ve got a thousand years to arm ourselves against Vulcans with magic and faster-than-light transport.”

- “They ain’t all that scary when you think about it.”

“What makes you say that?”

- “They say they can do magic, and magic is the only true test of sentience—”

“Sapience, they said, not sentience.”

- “Yeah, whatever. But they ain’t all that bright. Hell, any grown-up with common sense would tell you that what I do is illusions and sleight of hand, even if they don’t know how I did it.”

“True, but you are quite good at it.”

- “Ouch. I know what that means in British English. I spent some time in London, remember? Then again, you ain’t wrong.”

“Oh! I meant ‘quite’ in the American sense.”

- “Sure you did. Space elves with real magic are convinced that humans have magic because a mediocre street magician — me — did every trick I knew, and even flubbed a couple when I was getting tired. If they paid attention, they woulda caught the palm a couple times.”

“I was watching closely. You had me fooled when I stopped by the first time, and then the whole time on their ship. I still don’t know how you do any of it.”

- “I could teach you some simple tricks, if you’re up for it.”

“You’d do that?”

- “Yeah. I can teach you the cups and balls to start.”

“That would be lovely. I’d have something to show off when I get home.”

- “Here, hold this thing while I set up for it.”

“What should we do with—hey!”

- “It…turned on.”

“I didn’t do anything. I’m just holding it.”

- “Hand it back.”

“And it’s off again.”

- “Touch it.”

“Wow.”

- “Ouch! Take it or let go, it hurts!”

“Sorry, sorry.”

- “It’s not hurting you?”

“No, it feels like it did on their ship.”

- “Wait, you get magic, and I don’t? Life is so unfair.”

“It’s not my fault, really.”

- “I didn’t say it was. Anyway, let me set up the cups and balls with clear cups so you can see how it’s done.”

“So, there’s already balls there?”

- “Of course. The rest is manipulation. I’ll go slow for you, then you can try.”

“Now that I see it, it’s so simple. Not easy, mind you, but simple nonetheless. Surprising that this was the one that sealed the deal.”

- “Like I said, they ain’t that bright. I know you knew all along it was sleight of hand, even though you didn’t know how, right?”

“Of course. This thing, though….”

- “Can you make that thing do anything other than light up?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I can—bloody hell!”

- “You, uh, just blew up the bus stop.”

“I didn’t mean to, I just wanted to make a light over there. Please, take this back.”

- “It turns off again. Hey, there’s a thousand years to get ready. Would it really be so bad if you took some time to learn how to use this thing, and then we won a bunch of money on that magician show?”

“It would. This should go to researchers right away.”

- “Eh, you’re probably right.”

“Perhaps we should leave. It sounds like the sirens are getting closer.”

- “Shit. Help my pack up my table.”

“I think it’s too late for that. There are chaps in hazmat suits coming from both directions. And you said no one notices anything in this city.”

- “Yeah, except at the worst possible time.”

“What should we do with the device?”

- “I don’t think we’ll be given a choice.”

“Oh, bollocks. Before they cart us off, I have to ask about something you said earlier.”

- “Ask away.”

“You called me cute?”

- “I wha—uh…yeah. Yeah, I did.”

“Ellen Chambers, from Croyden, London.”

- “Derrick Little, Augusta Georgia. Ouch! Remind me not to shake your hand when I’m holding the device.”

“I think they want us to set the device down and back away from it.”

- “You should do it, so they can see that it responds to you. Better chance of not disappearing to Guantanamo or something.”

“What about you?”

- “My best tricks are escapes. I’ll be out of cuffs before they notice. If I’m really lucky, they’ll use the zip tie type. I’ll bolt the first chance I get. By the way, I slipped my number in your pocket when you were here the first time.”

“How forward of you. I’ll call the first chance I get. Looks like they want us to separate. For now, we should obey their orders. They got riled when the device lit up. Be safe, Derrick Little of Augusta.”

- “You too, Ellen.”