It's Okay

Trigger Warning: This story contains themes of mental health struggles, emotional distress, and graphic descriptions of violence and gore, which may be unsettling for some readers. Discretion is advised.

Mike hadn’t been coming home for the past two weeks. It was strange because he would always come home with his two duffle bags and stay until New Years. Christmas holiday was all he looked forward to. It was something he and I thoroughly enjoyed. We would go out to dinner, drink hot chocolate with a splash of whiskey in it, and cuddle next to the fireplace.

It was the perfect vacation for us, but I don’t know what’s wrong with him this time. He has been acting up for quite some time now. He hasn’t been answering my calls properly, he has been ignoring my messages, and when I told him that I was feeling lonely, and was missing his warm kisses, he texted me with a two letter word, “ok.” 

I had a sudden feeling that he was going to leave me, break off the engagement because he found someone else. Maye he was having an affair with someone and was ready to cut the rope and set me free. But no…I knew Mike and he isn’t like that.

He is a trustworthy man who would go to lengths to make me happy. He wouldn’t let a tear fall from my eyes–only now, he can’t see my puffy eyes and my tear-stained pillows to ensure that. I paced around the living room with a cup of coffee wrapped around my hands.

Suddenly, I phone vibrated on my couch. Picking it up, I saw that it was a message from Mike, “I’ll be home late, go to sleep.”

My heart did a tiny flip and a new born hope ignited within me. I smiled, knowing that he would come home soon. However, I wasn’t sure if I was going to fall asleep or not. I surely couldn’t because I wanted to be awake when he came home. I wanted to see his surprised look when I would surprise him with a cake and some wine to go with it.

I replied a quick “Okay!” with a heart and rushed to the bathroom to get freshened up. There was a lot to do and I didn’t want to be late. As I took my warm shower, I recalled some of the most beautiful times that we had–from walking down the beach together bare-footed, to him proposing me on the rooftop of the tallest skyscraper, and us making love as he whispered ‘I love you’ a thousand times or more. 

Loving Mike was more than just my heart racing fast, I felt good being next to him. I felt alive. It was a feeling I couldn’t explain, but only experience…

It was close to two am in the morning when I looked at the wall clock in my kitchen. I looked around and saw all the dishes and desserts I had prepared for him. Some were covered, some were nicely decorated with a bow, and some were open, ready to be eaten.

The tiny smile on my face faded a little as I began to doubt Mike’s words. Would he come tonight? Or was it just another white lie to make me happy? Was he expecting me to listen to him and go to sleep? All those questions whirled in my head.

I turned off the kitchen lights on my way out and went to my bedroom. 

I changed into my robe and got into bed. I got under the sheets, turned off the night lamp and let out a soft sigh. I had worked a lot today hoping that I could see Mike’s face light up, but he hadn’t arrived…He was either really late, or he wasn’t coming home. That’s all.

I closed my eyes and let my body calm down. I felt a little cold so I pulled the sheets closer to my body and turned to the side. I wasn’t sure how much time went by, but after some time, after the night had turned even darker before the beautiful sun would rise, I felt a warm hand wrap around my torso and pull me back. 

Another hit of warmth touched my back as I felt Mike’s chest against mine. He kissed the nape of my neck and whispered, “I’m here…” 

I remember smiling but not saying anything. I held his hand and went deeper into sleep. I wasn’t sure if it was the best sleep I have had in a while, or I was just relieved that Mike had come home. However, when I turned to the side, he wasn’t there. 

I touched his side of the pillow and it was cold…as if he hadn’t been here at all. 

My heart pounded against my chest as I immediately got out of bed and rushed downstairs to see if he was perhaps making breakfast, but he wasn’t there either. I checked the whole house until I crashed on my couch with tears in my eyes…

Did he leave again? 

I inhaled sharply as I looked around the empty house and wished he could come back. I went back to my room to check on my phone and to see if Mike had left any messages or not, but my phone had died. I put it to charging and decided to wash my face. 

I had a simple day thereafter; had my breakfast, drank some coffee, and cleaned the house. I had to put everything I had made for Mike in the fridge lest they go bad. I still couldn’t shake the feeling though that Mike had come last night…that he had hugged me, pulled me close, and whispered to me.

It wasn’t a dream, I knew that.

I put on my apron and walked over to the sink to wash the dishes, but when I turned on the tap, the water rushed only for a second before stopping altogether.

I turned the tap on and off again a few times, and even checked the pipe under the sink for any abnormality, but nothing seemed to have worked. I knew to fix this issue I had to go to the worst place in my house…the basement. I hated it down there because it was dark, and because there were tiny, little insects that I hate the most.

But I had no choice, the plumber had already told me that he was going to take a break this Christmas, so I couldn’t really call him. I eventually mustered up my courage and decided to fix this issue myself. After all, I can’t let the dishes just sit there for the rest of the holidays, can I?

I opened the basement door and stood at the top. Looking down, all I saw was darkness creeping all around. I hated the darkness, and the demons that lurked around. It reminded me of my childhood…how my friends would lock me up in the school bathroom, turn off the lights and just let me stay there for the rest of the night. No one had come to save me then…except for Mike. 

I turned on the light and the only thing that illuminated was a tiny light bulb that hung from the middle. I bit my cheeks as I slowly began to descend.

I began humming a little so that I wouldn’t feel too scared, and if there were any insects, they could just shoo away upon hearing my voice. I went to the area where the valves were there and tried to budge a few of them. I wasn’t sure which one was which so I just moved around a couple of them and hoped for the best.

As I was busy using my strength to move the valves, I heard a soft thud behind me. At once, I looked behind me and saw a screwdriver fall from the wooden table to the ground. I let out a soft sigh and dusting my hands, I walked over to the screwdriver and put it back in its place.

I looked to the side and noticed that on the wooden chair, there was a white sheet covering something. I frowned softly as I walked over to it. I couldn’t remember what I or Mike had covered, but it had also been so long since I had come down here. I slowly lifted the white sheet and saw a decomposed body of Mike as maggots ate his flesh little by little. Some parts of his body were chewn off, others were rotten to its core. 

I knelt in front of him and saw him sleep peacefully. I held his chin–the flesh sticking to my fingers–and lifted his head so that he could look me in the eyes. 

“Mike…” I whispered as tears welled up in my eyes, “Why didn’t you come home soon? I thought we were spending Christmas together…”

Mike didn’t answer. I knew he was working hard all day and night, trying to us a better life, but he shouldn’t have met this other woman, or have slept with her. It wasn’t my fault that I doubted him. I just followed him to his work one day and saw them together…They were kissing and he was whispering the same thing he had whispered to me, “I love you,” a thousand times.

“I love you too,” I smiled as I flicked the maggot that was crawling on his forehead and kissed it.

“Now you be a good boy and come upstairs quick, okay? I made dinner.”

I smiled as I walked back upstairs, turned off the light and closed the basement door. I went back to the kitchen and turned on the tap. Fortunately, the water was flowing now. 

I began washing the dishes while humming the song Mike had played to me on our engagement night.