The Christmas Santa Forgot

The Christmas Santa Forgot

Sometimes it was stressful being Santa Claus’ wife.

She loved what he did but she wanted a life.

So, on Thursday afternoons she went out with the girls,

Had an eggnog or two and shook loose her curls.

She would tell Santa stories and the girls all would laugh.

She waved her gloved hand and said, “You don’t know the half!

You may not believe it but once we were young.

This giving presents thing had just begun.

Santa was an athlete when he was younger,

He missed competing because he still had that hunger.

But as much as my Santa yearned to compete,

Besides me the love of his life was to eat!

A diet wasn’t a thing I demanded,

So, I silently watched while his waistline expanded.

“Not every Christmas has been jolly and bright.”

She slowly whispered, “One year he got in a fight!”

The girls leaned forward, to hear what she would say,

Their eyebrows simultaneously rose up in dismay.

“Santa doesn’t remember! He chose to forget!

But I remember well, our worst Christmas yet.

He claims amnesia every Christmas Eve.

That he could forget it I just don’t believe.

As much as he thinks from his memory he can blot it,

I know a short furry man who has never forgot it.

‘Twas the month before Christmas when out onto the mat

Walked a large and round wrestler no one dared call fat.

He’d expanded to huge, much plumper than jolly.

All the elves tried to tell him to comeback was a folly.

But a wrestler’s will to compete never dies,

The only obstacle? Cutting to two seventy-five!

All the north pole was buzzing, is Santa a nut?

How will he ever make weight with such a big jolly butt?

No one could question how he’d widened these days.

Most figured this diet a passing phase.

But he got back on the mat, his sessions were draining,

It had been many years since he’d done serious training.

He turned up the heat as hot as it gets,

He wore his red snowsuit over plastic sweats.

He had never been a champion weight cutter,

But he watched his rolls melt away like hot butter.

I tried to help him in every way, 

I put him on a diet of three meals a day.

Soon Santa was wrestling four elves at a time.

He pulled his own sleigh then up a chimney he’d climb.

He would take an evergreen and tie it in knots.

He would shoulder two reindeer and start doing squats.

Santa was pleased more than anyone knows,

Simply delighted he could touch his own toes!

Santa had his sights set to return to the mat.

“I still have it in me and besides that,

A man needs to do what a man does best!

A persons at their best when they're put to the test.

I hope to wrestle an Olympian at least,

Or pair me up with that abominable beast.”

Throughout Christmas land his challenge it went,

A proclamation written, signed, sealed and sent.

“Whoever meets Santa’s challenge on the wrestling mat,

And can beat him, will win Santa’s own furry hat!"

But soon Santa lamented “What could have gone wrong?

No one has responded. What's taking so long?”

When finally, a reply came at long last,

Santa was shocked by a name from his past.

“Santa I’ll meet you inside that small ring.

I’d like that more than most anything.

I’ll fight to the end. I won’t yield an inch.”

Respectfully signed, your old friend Mr. Grinch

The time of the weigh in was finally there,

Santa Claus made the weight not a fraction to spare.

Grinch stepped on the scale and said with a grin,

“I really don’t care what weight class I’m in.”

It was hard to believe that this statement was true.

The Grinch weighed in at one twenty-two!

The crowd was excited at this gigantic mismatch.

Some felt sorry for the foe that he’d quickly dispatch.

For Santa looked formidable when he entered the ring.

We all knew it’d be Grinch who would hear angels sing.

Suddenly out in the hall there arose such a clatter.

Security sprang up to see what was the matter.

When burst through the door and into the gym,

A whirlwind of green…could that really be him?

When what to our wondering eyes did appear?

But the Grinch wearing nothing but bright green headgear.

His fur was fluffed up like the down on a thistle.

The men toed their lines… the ref blew the whistle.

Both men were light on their feet, so Santa tied up in a clinch.

A duck under scored two on a takedown by Grinch!

It wasn’t that Grinch was that good at riding,

But Claus couldn’t figure where the green man was hiding!

He’d be working a bar arm and then with a wink,

He reappeared somewhere that you’d never think.

Finally, Santa Claus got to his feet,

He squeezed a front headlock, and the green man was beat!

But somehow someway he slipped from his grip.

Right at the buzzer he gave Santa the slip.

Choice went to Santa and Santa deferred,

The Grinch pointed down without saying a word.

The crowd went wild. How could you choose that?

Santa will crush you in one second flat!

The Grinch had schemed for years how Santa could be bested.

His knew his move would work on yak’s it had been tested.

When he grabbed two handfuls of hair and twisted,

For a moment...Santa resisted.

But Grinch proved his move would work,

When he pinned Santa with a double beard turk!

Later a reporter asked him for a quote.

This is what he heard, and this is what he wrote.

“Follow this rule when put to the test,

Do what you do and do what you do best!

In wrestling and life, you should go for the fall.

Have a wonderful day…Merry Christmas to all!

                           THE END