Forever is a Long Time

TW:// Mention of suicidal thoughts

I hate the sun. I hate the heat. I hate the dryness. I hate...everything here. I pull a book from the shelf and walk towards my chair. The spindly wooded chair is accompanied by a cockroach. Another thing to dislike about here. Brushing it off I sit down, reclused in the shade. The book I'm holding is not one I'm familiar with. It's dark, sleek, and contains the outline of an "x" on the front. Opening it, a letter falls out.

"Some things aren't worth giving up."

-Exodus

"Promises and wishes are best kept as they are."

-Carilyn

My ancestors tell stories of a god-like figure. Their job is to protect the heir to the throne. To teach them not to stray. This deity comes when the heir needs them the most, even if the heir may not think they need it. But, caution, be wary. They can do anything, and that means anything. They are unstable. They create fear. They are a monster. Take this lesson, heir to the throne. Don't stray from the path.

-Monroe

This is something my family would call timor. When the fates bring you an opportunity. I am the prince of NZovitia. A sign, my grandmother would say. I need to open my eyes to the world. I open the book further, to see if this deity was talked about more, but all the pages are blank. Maybe it is a sign. I close the book and walk to my desk. My best friend Niko left me not so long ago. I used to whisper promises of us both escaping here. He always wanted a small house, in the hills, or the woods. Anywhere that was tucked away, a secret. But his dreams were met far faster than mine. Now he gets that home we always dreamed about. Now he's gone. His presence is merely a memory. I write him another letter.

Same thing Niko. It's hot, dry, and boring. I still miss you. But don't come back. I don't want you to suffer either. How's the house? Have you seen any deer where you live? Are they as graceful as the storybooks say? Is it everything you ever wanted? I'll keep working for a way out. I promise, somehow we'll be reunited.

-Roe

Sealing my letter, I hand it to my delivery bird Rush, who quickly has learned to hand off the letters to Niko. Every single day is the same thing over and over again. Every day a piece of my soul chips away.

I am empty. I hate it.

My room is on the highest floor of a grand palace, and every day, the fall from my balcony seems more enticing. I gaze out into the night. The sand prickles at my chapped lips, scratching my dry throat. If I fell, would anyone even notice? Would Niko even take the time to mourn, or would he still just happily live his life, knowing me and my kingdom are completely cut out of his life? My eyes sting, my chest heaves. Would he even hear if I jumped? Test it out. 

I jump.

 And then I stop. I am floating mid-air. I am returned to the top of my balcony. Then floats up a boy. With caramel skin, and dark curly hair. I step back when I recognize him.

"N-Niko?!" I stutter out.

"Hi!" He laughs out. 

"Oh...he's gone." His voice is ghostly and hollow, and his eyelids are pure white, reflective in the moonlight.

"Is it you? Why are you flying?"

"Oh well, I needed to stop you from doing that."

"Yeah but Niko, why are you here, how are you here."

"I'm not Niko." His voice distorts, his skin darkening, "Don't call me that!" I shrink back in fear, scrambling away,

"What do you mean your not Niko, you look just like him!" His voice dies back down to the hollow ghostlike,

"I guess there's a part of him that's me, but I'm not him. It's...hard to explain to you. Just don't call me that."

"What do you want to be called?"

"Nicodemus is my name."

"You're kidding."

"Does it look like I'm joking?" He shrieks at me, his voice distorted again. I slam my balcony door, bolting it shut. He appears in my room.

"Do I scare you?"

 I gasp, 

"When your voice gets all weird as it did just now...yeah."

"What do you mean?"

"Your voice...and you. It gets all distorted and echoey."

"Huh, I must have not noticed." He flicks his palm out, fire dancing on his hand. My eyes widen in shock.

"Why are you here Nicodemus?"

"You seemed to have fallen, I made sure no harm came to you."

"Explain the flying and the fire."

"Well, I can do anything. I'm a god."

"You're a god?" He nods his head.

"Prove it then."

"What?"

"I said, if you're a god, prove it. Take me away from here. Bring me to Niko."

"You dare abuse our friendship! You use me for things! To prove to you!"

I run. 

I shut my door behind me and head down the stairwell.

"You're running..." His sing-song voice is in my ear and I speed up.

I head through the temple hallway, making it to the outside door. I rush through the courtyard, dashing underneath the tree.

"You can't run from me Roe, I'm in your head." He appears in front of me, floating and eerily looming, "Don't run from me."

"Why are you here Nicodemus?" I press. He sets himself down on the grass,

"Because you need help, and I'm here to provide it."

Then it clicks,

"You're the deity the ancestors have talked about, the one that aids the heir when they need help. But why, why do you take the appearance of my best friend?"

"I am my own being, and yes heir, I am here to help you, so don't run."

"So why won't you give me the one thing I want?"

"Because then you'd be straying from the path."

"Why can't you just leave Nicodemus, I am gone from harm's way now, you can leave." He stares at the ground,

"Because... I care about you," 

My head spins. Oh.

 "I've been watching you for a while, you're truly remarkable. I wish to be closer with you."

"Like...friends? You want to be friends with me?"

"Friends?"

"People who are close with each other. Is that what you want? My friendship?" A small smile creeps on his face and he nods.

"Well, sure we can be friends, but you know... friends do things for each other." He nods his head again.

"So why don't we go flying over the mountains by Applache?"

His eyes widen and he floats off the ground, a dark smile creeping,

"I'm not an idiot. Do you think I was born yesterday! You're using me, you're abusing my powers for your gain," He slams his hand across my throat, pinning me to the tree, "Is that what friends do?"

My eyes water and I try to blink the pain out.

"I can see those little thoughts of yours. We're not going back there." He strokes the top of my head, and I try to gasp for air. Then I'm released. I fall to the ground, choking out wishing for oxygen to revive my lungs again. He shrinks back down, staring at me.

"I'm sorry." His weak apology angers me. 

I struggle to yell out the words, 

"What the hell was that?!"

"I'm sorry." He repeats it, sounding more convincing.

"Why, why would you do that?" His echoey voice rings through the courtyard,

"I don't know, I'm sorry," He curls himself up, "Friends?"

"I don't know if we can be friends after that."

"W-what?"

"You almost killed me."

"And I apologized, why can't you accept it?"

"Because you can't just do that to people, it's not okay."

"Your forgiveness. I want it. And your friendship." I tune in, this can finally be my chance,

"Take me to Niko." This time he doesn't lash out, just turns to look at me,

"You want to go to Niko, in return for your forgiveness and friendship?"

"Yes."

"And you'll be friends with me," his voice distorts again, "forever?"

"For-ever." He slinks up to me, hovering off the ground,

"And if you're lying?" His sickening sing-song voice creeps in my ear.

"I'm not lying, we'll be friends forever." He outstretches his hand and I take it, excited to finally see Niko.

I appear with Nicodemus at a small cottage somewhere in the divot of the Applache Mountains. I peek through the window and see Niko cooking, I finally can see him again. I knock on the door anxious to see him.

"Hello?" I rush towards him, crushing him in a hug.

"R-roe?" He stutters out, hugging me back, "You came here to see me?"

"I'm not going to leave," I mumble into his shoulder. I break apart from him and take in his face, his smile is still wide and happy, his joy unyielding.

"I am very sorry for this." Nicodemus appears behind Niko and reaches his hand into Niko's chest. Niko's screams echo through the valley shrill and horrifying.

"Nicodemus stop!" I try to push him away but he pulls out Niko's heart, holding it in his grip.

"NOOOOOOOO!" I scream out holding on to the last of Niko,

"Why, how could you do this to me!" I hug Niko, angry and sad at the world.

"You said forever, Roe." He sits on the grass, evaporating Niko's heart in his hands.

"Not like this, not like this." I hold onto his shirt and bring myself to his eyes. He's gone. I gently set him down on the grass bed.

"Why did you do that to him? Why did you kill him?!"

"You said forever."