My Flight With Arinielandil

“All passengers please fasten your seat belts and prepare for take off.” The wicked sound of the evil flight attendant spoke through her speaker of death.

I looked around the cabin to spot any other individuals on the plane whom I might share my anxiety. I noticed a woman with a baby, a man with a baby, a dog with a cat, and an elf with an odd-looking orb which seemed to be holding a tiny electrical storm- nope, no one to relate to.

Each row contained two seats; I hoped desperately that I wouldn’t be sat with someone. For good measure, I placed all of my belongings onto the seat next to me: my phone, my neck pillow, my two hundred capsules of Xanax, and my little stuffed T-Rex I got from my aunt as a souvenir from her trip to the Lanya Tar Mountains - I call this collection my comfort kit, positively impossible to fly without it.

As I was counting the Xanax to ensure I had enough, another elf sat next to me, different from the one with the orb. I had to remove my comfort kit from his spot which the flight attendant so effortlessly gave to him. This one was wearing a fancy-smancy business suit. Like all elves he seemed arrogant, uppity, and like he thought he was better than everybody else.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Arinielandil.” He put his hand out to me- I assume to be shaken, I suppose. I shook his hand and introduced myself as well,

“Charles Nathaniel Book.” I said, “adventurer extraordinaire.” I of course considered using a fake name, but I ultimately decided to settle with my real one.

“Oh, quite the fancy title.” He said to me, hiding the sarcasm well.

“Yes, well I’ve recently decided to become a connoisseur in the art of seeking rare magical artifacts. Hence my presence on this flying death trap.” I told him.

“What artifact are you after in Agnolis, exactly?” He asked. (the nerve!)

“I quite think that’s none of your concern!” I replied.

“Alright, sorry.” He put his hands up in a defensive position and proceeded to ignore me for the remainder of the flight, a stance I could not stand for! It was at this moment, just as I was about to scold him for absolutely nothing at all, that I realized I was being extremely rude. I could not allow my family name to sit in this reputation.

“Apologies,” I said humbly, “flights get me riled up. My grandfather perished in a plane crash and so I get rather, er, raw if you will.”

“Not to worry.” He said, “I’m sure we’ll be quite fine.”

“May I ask you a question, at the risk of receiving the same answer I just bellowed at you?” I asked him.

“Sure.”

“Why are you in such a fancy suit?” I asked. His suit was oddly fancy for an economy-level flight. I was sure one could buy at least ten tickets with equal funds.

“I’m headed to a funeral,” he admitted, “I won’t have the time to change when I get there. I only just found out a couple hours ago and the funeral is nearly the same time we land. I had no other choice but to take this flight.”

“Oh, I see.” I suddenly felt rather guilty about my snide judgments earlier. I don’t know what came over me.

“You know, as an adventurer, you must have quite the stories in your arsenal.” He said to me, a smile growing on his face.

“No, I’m afraid not. I’ve only just started.” I said with regret.

“My uncle, the man whose funeral I’m headed to,” he started, “now he was an adventurer.”

“Truly?” I encouraged.

“Oh yes, one morning I awoke to the sound of a horn blaring from below the ground. We lived near the Cobra’s Pass, you see. I ran out of bed and into the kitchen to get a good view of the mountain, there was a massive army sitting outside my home. It was an army sent by King Dorminon to collect what he claimed my father owed him.”

“What did your father owe to King Dorminon?” I asked, knowing of the stories told about the tyrant.

“According to him, it was the gem of Altmyra.” He said to me.

“Such a gem is worth his entire kingdom twice over!” I exclaimed.

“Oh yes, but it wasn’t in my father’s possession. In fact, my father hadn’t the slightest idea where the King would have gotten the idea.”

“And I take it this is where your uncle comes into the story?” I asked.

“Indeed.” Oh! I knew already and I was still enthused!

“As it happened, my uncle sneaked into the King’s royal tomb and stole the gem from his great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather.” He said.

“Great!” That was a dumb joke.

“My uncle hid the gem under our house and the King attacked the entire village for it. three people died and two-hundred-seventy-six were injured.” He smiled in a reminiscing sort of way, “that was nearly eight hundred years ago now, I was only a boy.”

“You look quite well for a man over eight hundred.” I said.

“Oh, thank you.” He replied, “you know, my uncle lived to be over two thousand.”

“But don’t elves only live to be one thousand?” I asked.

“Yup.” He answered.

“Whoa.” I said, “next you’ll be telling me he was at DeathRoot.”

“He organized DeathRoot.”

“Whoa.” This elf was clearly insane, I realized that by this point in our conversation.

The plane took off and I braced for the shift in gravity. I instantly felt motion sickness and the babies and cats on the plane began to cry- the worst moments of my life began.

“You know, one day we will be able to teleport between cities.” Arinielandil began.

“Oh, and did your uncle have anything to do with that?”

“Maybe.” He said.

“How so?” I asked, hoping for at least a good story, be it false or not.

“When my uncle was a child, he found an old relic in a tomb near his house. It allowed people to travel between distances in an instant and it’s currently being studied by magical scientists to expand on the technology.”

“Magical scientists?”

“People who incorporate science and magic in the same field of study. It’s very posh.”

“Yes, I’m sure it is.”

Magic and science have never mixed well. In fact, I have a story for a change!

“You know, when I was a boy, which was only about thirty years ago, my mother and I were at a museum of natural magic and there was a man there who shouted to the high heavens, ‘science is the way! Only trust science!’ and that man went on to invent the electric hair dryer.”

“Wow.” Arinielandil said to me, “what an incredibly boring story.”

Preposterous! I met the man who invented the hair dryer, what’s ‘boring’ about that? I simply can not believe this elf-

“You know, I’ve got a great story about that museum.” He said.

“I hadn’t specified which museum it was.” I said.

“The one with the big mammoth out front, with the eternal flame coming out of its tail?” He said, unbelievably getting it right, though I wasn’t sure how.

“Anyhow,” he continued, my uncle was there one day because he donated the everlasting shard of Utnosiv.”

“Your uncle donated the everlasting shard of Utnosiv to the Dinopia Natural Magic Museum?” I asked him with melancholy. “That shard is a never-ending source of immense magical power, and that museum is located in the most rural part of rural Dinopia.”

“Yes, I know all these things.”

“You are utterly ridiculous.” I said. “I’m putting my neck pillow on and sleeping off the rest of this flight. Good night, sir.” I did just as I promised and turned to my side.

When I awoke, it was to the sound of Arinielandil singing to the rest of the passengers of the plane. It was “Oh Sarah, To You I Sarah-nade”, a romantic ballad about a woman named Kelly.

“Oh, Charles, you’re awake.” He said to me, “just in time to sing along with me. A duet, do you happen to know ‘Dorabella, Dorabella’?” without awaiting my answer he began to sing:

Dorabella, Dorabella, you are my sweet vanilla!

Dorabella, Dorabella, oh please do ring your bell-a!

“Enough, can’t you see that I am trying to sleep you infernal-”

I was stopped by the sight of nearly two dozen people staring at me as I threw my tantrum. “Ahem, I mean, Arinielandil, could you please sing a slight quieter. I and, I’m sure others, would like to get some shut-eye, to combat jet-leg and all.” I put on a fake smile to buffer the pain caused by the stares.

“of course, Charles, my apologies.” He turned to the other passengers, “here’s a quieter song. It’s a true classic and one of the first songs I ever learned:

Oh, there once was a hero named rag-

I cut him off for copyright reasons. I turned back over to my side and adjusted my neck pillow, attempting to drown out the sound of his signing by listening to the sound of birds in my head- I then remembered I hate the sound of birds.

After another two hours of hearing Arinielandil’s terrible singing, the plan finally landed. I practically leapt out onto the ground cheering and jumping with joy. Arinielandil walked somberly out of the airport. I assumed he was rather sad about his esteemed uncle. I began to wonder if maybe I was too hasty to doubt. sure, his uncle wasn’t likely the man who organized DeathRoot or donated one of the most powerful artifacts in the world to a small-time rural museum that gets fifteen guests per year, but maybe all those stories were Arinielandil’s way of coping with his loss. Maybe he was subject to grief.

I caught up with him. and asked him if he could use a friend to accompany him on this hard day. He didn’t understand at first, but I explained that it was merely my nerves on the plane and that I would like to make it up to him by offering my support. I walked into the funeral home feeling like I was doing a good thing. it was weird and didn’t make any sense, but it felt strangely the right thing to do- and I felt good about it.

Then I saw the most unbelievable sight I had ever seen in my entire life: the owner of the Dinopia Natural Magic Museum. I thought maybe- but he couldn’t. then atop the coffin, I saw the next most unbelievable sight I had ever seen in my entire life (arguably much, much more unbelievable, not sure why I made such a fuss over the owner of crappy museum). Laid onto the coffin, neatly placed into a large protective case, was the gem of Altmyra!

A woman approached and paid her respects, then turned to me and said, “hi, I’m a magical scientist,” then walked away.

I approached Arinielandil gingerly and stated my sincerest apology, “Arinielandil, I could never in all my years have expected-”

“It’s quite alright,” he said, “happens all the time.”

After the funeral ceremony, his family took me to a bar where we drank and sang for the remainder of the night. I learned an incredibly valuable lesson today; I guess flying isn’t so bad after all when you get to meet some incredible people, and more importantly, a new friend.

Dorabella, dorabella, come on out of your shell-a

dorabella, dorabella, I’ve fallen into your well-a