Memories

      The clock ticked as Bella tapped her pen on her desk. Only seconds till she could go home. Ten. Click. Nine. Click. Eight. Click. Seven. Click. Six. Click. Five. Click. Four. Click. Three. Click. Two. Click. One. The pen fell out of Bella’s hand and a bell rang from somewhere in the building. Thirty-six students got up simultaneously and ran out the door. Bella leaned over to grab her pen and slowly got up. Throwing a half-hearted wave over her shoulder to the teacher, she rushed outside to join her friends. The five girls were standing in a circle discussing something when she came over.

           “Hey!” Bella smiled as a chorus of greetings enveloped her. The only person not smiling at her was one of the newer girls. They had not really talked enough for Bella to be bothered by it, so she just tolerated the glare. As Madison caught her up on the conversation, Bella glanced periodically at the unhappy girl. She could not remember her name which surprised her. The girl’s long blonde ponytail and ice-cold blue eyes were hard to forget. Her friends started talking again which redirected her attention to the conversation.

           “And we ended up going to Russia after that to celebrate my little sister’s birthday.” Brittany bragged. She flicked her brown hair when Charlotte scoffed.

           “I doubt it.” Charlotte smirked as Brittany scowled at her. Evelyn snickered in the background as Brittany started yelling at Charlotte. The girl was still glaring at Bella which confused her greatly. Shouldn’t she be paying attention to the full on fight instead of me, Bella frowned back at her.

           “How about you, Bella?” Madison asked, drawing Bella’s attention away from the girl once again.

           “Huh?” Bella wrinkled her brow as the girls started looking at her expectantly.

           “Do you have any fun memories from when you were little?” Brittany smiled infectiously. Bella had no choice but to smile back. Thinking hard, Bella found that she could not remember anything from when she was little. In fact, she could not remember anything happening till fourth grade when she had gone to Hawaii for the summer.

           “I don’t really know… I typically have a story or too, but my mind is just blank today.” Bella laughed, but confusion twisted through her head. The rest of the girls giggled with her except for the one girl. Bella wondered what her problem was. While Charlotte started telling some elaborate story about a vacation to Persia, Bella zoned out. She finally remembered something that felt like a memory, but it had not happened. She knew that for a fact because it showed her and her friends having the same conversation they were having right now except the unnamed girl was starting to walk towards a car. The girl had not looked before she had crossed the street and there was a car speeding directly towards her. Bella tried to call out to her, but found she could not. The vision ended afterwards. She felt as if she had always known this, but it could not have happened. Whoever the girl was, she was still here.

           “Bye, Ella!” Evelyn called after her as she started walking towards the street. Bella started to feel sick. Before she stepped onto the street, Bella called out to her.

           “Ella! Wait a sec!” She ran after her, but the girl did not show any sign of hearing her. One step onto the street had Bella’s heart soaring. She looked the other way to see the same car from her ‘memory’ speeding towards Ella. Bella broke into a dead sprint as she screamed after the girl, but it was too late. The world seemed to slow down as Bella ran to the girl’s side. She yelled her name, but the girl’s eyelids never fluttered open. A car door opened and the person driving in rushed out with a hand over their mouth. They dialed quickly for an ambulance as Bella closed her eyes, praying that it would get here in time. Soon enough, sirens echoed through her consciousness and Ella’s body was driven away. The people had said she would be okay, but she had been knocked out by the impact. Bella’s body convulsed into sobs as Madison held her.

           “Shhh… it’s okay, Bella. You tried to warn her.” Madison comforted the sobbing girl as she mumbled incoherently.  Days passed without another ‘memory’ and Bella found herself remembering less and less about her past. When did she meet her friends? Where was her old house? Questions became useless as she found she could not remember any of them. Deciding that she was not going to forget anything else, Bella took out a journal. She titled the top “Memories” and thought hard about her life. She wrote down everything she could remember and some general statements too like “My name is Bella Madeline Parker,” “I am fourteen years old,” I have a baby brother and a little sister.” Bella shivered as she remembered that she had a present for Ella. The girl had been in a coma since the accident and Bella felt responsible. She did not yell loud enough or run fast enough or do enough for the girl even though she knew what would happen. She had been trying to make up for that every day. Countless presents had adorned Ella’s bedside, most of them from Bella. Her walk to the hospital was short and, before she knew it, she was sitting by Ella’s bedside.

           “Hey… are you gonna wake up? No? Okay…” Bella said awkwardly. These visits were always incredibly weird and left Bella feeling embarrassed. She was typically so much better with words, but what do you tell someone in a coma? That you could have saved them, but they could not hear you? That you felt terrible about it? Bella let out a dry laugh. The list that Bella had made was in her back pocket. She figured that if she did forget anything more, at least she had her address and name somewhere accessible. Even some more recent memories had become cloudy, which unnerved her. Any memories from less than a year ago seemed to fade away, lost somewhere she could not find. It was disturbing that things she took for granted were stolen away from her within days. If she could not remember her past, who was she really? Bella pondered that question for a couple minutes before another ‘memory’ surged through her. This one came suddenly where as the other had been gentle as though it was something she had known all her life. She was on the street sprinting as though she was being chased. Inhaling deep ragged breaths, a sense of panic enveloped her as she kept looking back at something that she could not make out. Suddenly, she felt a pain in her side and she collapsed, knocking herself out of the ‘memory’. This vision also seemed true, but in a deeper sense as if this was what she was meant to do. That’s idiotic, Bella thought, scoffing. How could she be meant to run away from something? The girl before her reminded her of her last ‘memory’ and a sense of dread gnawed at Bella. What if it was what she was meant to do? Maybe she was leading it away from something? Bella nibbled at her bottom lip. Could she wait out whatever it was? A small smile played over Bella’s lips. Avoiding fate can’t be that hard, Bella laughed. A couple hours passed at the hospital and a nurse came in to collect Bella.

           “It’s time to go, sweetie. Your friend will be here tomorrow.” The nurse smiled at the girl as she walked out of the room. Confusion was evident in the girl’s face and the nurse started to worry.

           “Are you okay, sweetheart?” She asked. The girl’s eyes started to pool with tears.

           “Where am I?” The girl’s voice shook slightly as she asked. The nurse blinked, not believing her, but could not find a trace of a lie in the girl’s eyes.

           “In the hospital, honey. You were visiting a friend.” Brows knitted together in deep thought, the girl seemed to be thinking hard.

           “But I don’t know that girl…” Her voice wavered as the nurse signaled for another to come over. A man came over and started asking questions.

           “Your name, miss?” He smiled gently at the girl. She smiled sadly back.

           “I’m really sorry, but I have no clue.”

           “Address?”

           “I really don’t know, sir.” The girl became increasingly aggravated at the questions that she could not answer. She shook her head and ran past the nurses and out the door. There was only one thing she knew. She had to get away. A sense of dread ate up her sense of self and sped her along unfamiliar streets. Some people called out a name, but she did not stop. It might have been hers once, but she did not have a name anymore. At least not one she could remember. As the wind blew, a piece of paper fell out of her pocket, leaving it on the path she continued to sprint down the street. There was something following her. She could feel its eyes boring into her back. A sharp turn around the corner sent a stabbing pain up her leg. Falling to the ground, she closed her eyes and succumbed to her fate.