After completing my eight standard in village Government Middle school ,in 1958,I sought admission in a well reputed school, as a boarder, in Abbott Abad,(Pakistan) ,a beautiful Hill station of Pakistan, where Palm trees feathered the whole city and lovely springs founded every where. Early in the morning city was adorned the whole area with Apple and apricot fragrance. It was after noon,I was busy with my school work in my room..It was knocking at the door, opened the door ,a handsome tall blue eyed young fellow standing and said beamingly “I’m Zarin your room mate”, I welcomed him. We had tea together and in a little time we both mingled up as we knew each other since ages. In the morning we both together go to attend the classes. He was superbly intelligent. In every subject ha had a keen command.This was his record that he used to solve the question before the solvent of the teacher. Sometimes by asking a riddled question from the teacher and made him confused. In the class test or in the Quarterly exams ,He guessed the question and prepared it and when the question paper affronted the same question would tucked in. We both used to go to a Restaurant named Student’s Café ,it was famous for its rice, vegetables and vegetables soup. One night Zarin suggested to dinner out in student’s café and from there we would go to see a movie., Both went to the Student’s Café, and sat in a corner table ,it was about seven thirty evening. There were only five waiters for serving.we knew them by names. Zarin was in a mood to have Lamb leg, He called a waiter, a new waiter came and took order for lamb leg .In Fifteen minutes he brought our order for lamb leg. As usually lamb leg took about fifty minutes to get prepared. I took a brief look at the fingers of the waiter, he had four fingers, small finger was missing. “Zarin it’s about eight and we have to reach the cinema before nine”. “Don’t you worry the movie would not be started till we reached “.He said very confidently ..We had our dinner and at quarter to nine we left for the cinema hall. We reached cinema hall at twenty minutes passed nine o’clock, I thought on the way that the movie must be started but on reaching cinema,all the cine goers were standing outside the hall,on asking they told us power supply is disconnected and generator is also out of order. As we were talking, a cinema bell rang and all rushed to the hall.I was very surprised that night. Next day it was Saturday, school was off,we woke up late in the morning. I woke up little early and prepared two cups of coffee.I awakened him and we both drank it.After having coffee, He took the cups for washing,the color of the cups were blue with yellow stripes and they were quite used ones but when he brought the cups colors were changed to dark red with green stripes and the cups were brand new.but I didn’t ask any thing from him.For the first time I noticed that he also had four fingers with small finger missing.I started thinking that he had five fingers how it became four? . I was inquisitive,in after noon I went to the Student’s Café and meet the cashier and asked about the lamb leg and the strange waiter who served us .The cashier said to me that you must be mistaken, we only prepare rice,vegetables and vegetables soup,we never served lamb leg in our life in this restaurant and we didn’t induct a new waiter, all are the old ones. I became very confused that what is going on ,who is this “Zarin”.At night before going to bed, I asked him about his home town. He said very frankly that why not you accompany me to my home town when the vacation resumes. I was also interested to know that truth. After few days our winter vacations been started and he insisted me to stay in the hostel for one night, early in the morning we would leave ,I would drop him at his home and I than would go to my own home destination..All the boys and the staff members left the hostel .Hostel was completely vacated only one watchman left .He had a room adjacent with the Main entrance gate,that was far enough from our rooms.We both had dinner together. It was very cold and the first season snow fall resumed.I ignited a log. We both had a very nice chat and we were excited too. went to bed .At midnight when I turn a side, I felt that Zarin was missing from his bed.when I looked outside the window it was a great precipitation.I took a torch and went after him.It was completely dark and silent.I lit up the torch,”Zarin,Zarin”,I called his name but nobody answered. I offed the torch and now it was again completely dark. In the meantime I felt some white figure passed in front of me, when it passed , another white figure of an older woman carrying a wooden thick log in his left hand..,looking down, with out looking me, passed in front of me .My skin became tight with goose bumps .I didn’t lit the torch .It was completely dark. I heard like someone coming up busy talking with somebody ,so I hid behind a thick pillar. As they were climbing the stairs a little light glow in the stairs like a spot light.I saw Zarin and a girl,climbing stairs towards the rooftop.Who is this girl? I asked my self and went after them .When I reached the rooftop there was no body ,it was severe cold,and still a great precipitation was going on. Why they came up to the rooftop in such a cold ? There was no shelter to sit.A great thunder blew up and it threw a light, I saw Zarin and the young girl both kissing wildly. Oh my God !,In this cold and precipitation they are kissing, they would definitely caught pneumonia.I thought and smiled with my self.I immediately came to the room,I became terrible ,saw Zarin lying on the bed, he was not damp,nor some sign of wetness,his clothes were completely dry as usual. He was lying on the bed, “Where were you Zarin".I asked. "Yar,I went out to take some fresh air but where were you? .”He asked very friendly ."I went out to see you,ok let’s sleep". said me and went to sleep. In the morning we woke up at eight o'clock and after breakfast,we sat on the motorcycle, it was my Uncle’s Mitchellis motorcycle,1945 model,It was always causing trouble but Uncle didn’t want to dispose off it because it was his late father in law’s motorcycle.When we sat on the motorcycle, I expressed my concern about the motorcycle condition. But he very confidently answered. ”Oh,Don’t bother it would fly like a plane".He was right. The road was very steep.The old motorcycle was plying very fastly,when I saw the Speed o meter, it’s maximum speed was Eighty but it was exceeding Seventy .Amazing! how it could be possible that the old machinery is working so well?. It was beyond my expectations. Reaching his home town was an amazing scenario. It was a densely jungle and very eerie , As we stepped down from the motorcycle ,a great thunder storm occurred and a fast wind blew and it was so noisy that I felt that air is whistling. A while we both closed our eyes and sat down. I got greatly scared and after ten minutes it’s became calm and quite, as nothing had happened. It seemed like some great fan were switched on and than suddenly it’s stopped. We started walking towards home. Their houses were not the architecture of the time,they had in-hill structure. Their houses were built by carving down the mountains.It seemed that the structure was built some five thousand years ago and was built above the ground level. “This structure built in one hundred and fifty years by our great grandparents and our whole family live here ".Zarin proudly stated.As we entered, it had great rooms erected in lines with out Windows ,instead of Windows there were small wholes in the walls,the doors were very thick with hefty locks..Neat clean and well decorated. One thing I noticed that they were very well disciplined.They greeted me with a lovely style.It was completely silent .All the family members were very charming ,coming one by one and hugging me,the ladies only give a light smile and nodded little, strangely I was not nervous at all and for some time forgot sitting in strange people.I gave a glance towards their fingers,they all had four fingers. I was feeling very hungry.I thought that it would be better that they bring some soup ,along roast chicken pieces,after few minutes his mother brought the same menu as I thought. Now I fully understood that they are some other creatures.After a little while an old woman entered in the room and it was that old woman which I saw last night in the hostel. "She is my grandmother". Zarin introduced to me.That old lady prayed for me and left the room. After lunch I set off for my home town.On the way I saw some big white rocks rolled down from the mountains. I was thinking that till today nobody mentioned this strange place, even we are living in this region since ages but nobody know about this place, very strange.After three months our winter vacations subsided.school get started but Zarin was remain absent from the school for so many days.Every body was asking me about him .So, on the upcoming weekend I went to his home town.The same motorcycle on which we both rode three months ago on seventy Miles per hour, speed was now not exceeding thirty miles per hour and I rest two to three times on the way. When I reached his home town there was nothing except a big mountain. There was no jungle. For a while I thought that I came to a wrong place but the big white rocks which I saw that day were still there. Now I rest assured that the place is the same .Some farmers were working in a nearby fields.I asked them about the in-hill houses and the people and the jungle .The farmers said that from the last fifty years they are residing here we haven’t seen any structure and people like this. I quickly took a glanced on their hands, they were five fingered. The End.
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20 comments
Abbott abad is lovely hill station such stories are good to write.
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Write it part 2.i threw a ponder point think on it.
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Best story, horror.a good presentation.i enjoyed.
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Good attempt,go on.
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Speed of the old motercycle,lamb leg,the lonely night in the hostel,are good parts.
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In the whole plot Zarin family were loyal to his friend,he didnt harm him.
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The restaurant scene is good than the cinema was out of power supply is good .it was common in those days.
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The restaurant scene is good than the cinema was out of power supply is good .it was common in those days.
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Entrance of zarin is good than strange things started happening makes a strong track.
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Tariq,Horror means in every scene there should b some horror touch,to keep the errie flow.note that.
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The describing flow of the story could do more better,it's a horror.
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I was stucked why u mention them Five Fingerd,it means they were humans.Good.
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Tariq give importance to the Mary clair points.
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A good hill station story.its a jinn type story.a good attempt.
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Once i saw a movie "Evil Dead" it has the same suspense and horror.
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Sheeji,I noticed that readers like horror true stories.
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Nyc sir
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Hello Tariq :-) Reedsy suggested that I read your story, and give you some feedback. I hope my suggestions help. First - I really like the way that you described the scenes. I appreciated the gentleness with which you told your story. I saw what you described, and fell in love with the characters and landscape. That part of Pakistan sounded beautiful. A couple of things would help, in terms of my comprehension of your story. As a reader, I need phrasing. It helps me to understand what you try to say. As the writer, you can improve y...
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Mary Clare,Thank you very much to you and Reedsy.you have shown me good way of writing,I do appreciate.The next writing would be improved and according to your designs.Take care.
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Mary Clare,Dear did you read my recent writings.?Give me your comments.
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