Melting Is Deadly

Submitted into Contest #53 in response to: Write a story that begins with someone's popsicle melting.... view prompt

186 comments

Science Fiction Drama Fantasy


The popsicle is going to kill me.

Not directly. No, it’s the heat plus the popsicle that will end me.

I remember those times when a popsicle melting was mildly annoying. Less to be eaten, more to be cleaned. It dripped down my leg, leaving a sticky trail of artificial flavoring.

Now, the popsicle melting is deadly.

I gulp and try to calm myself as it melts a little more. Because…  

Every drip that slides off shaves more time off my life.

Every drop means I get closer to perishing.

Every little bit of cherry ice that dares melt makes me clutch myself in fear.

Even though it happened five months, thirty days ago, I still remember I got my curse. After all, how could I forget?

 It’s the day that changed everything.




“Oh geez! I’m so sorry, Tori!”

I knelt down to pet my startled Zhelly—a baby Zhella, a kind of pet that has the small, furry body of a Yara and the cute, floppy-eared head of a Balt. “I swear I won’t accidentally step on your tail ever again,” I said solemnly, my straight face dissolving in a grin as she licked me.

I patted Tori one more time and continued my trot to the kitchen, where my mom was calling me.

“There you are!” She exclaimed. “Jay Moore, you've been on planet Yiika for sixteen years. You should know by now that when I say come here, it does not mean come here in five minutes!”

“Sorry, Mom,” I smiled, grabbing a donut off the table and munching a bite. “Why did you want me?”

“King Hark will be providing popsicles for any kids—they have to prove they’re under seventeen, though. Cherry is your favorite, right? Here’s six Airgead”—she pressed the coins into my hand—“which should be enough.”

“Thanks, Mom!” I hugged her then ran out the door.

Yiika was always hot. It had two seasons: Yeh and Tah. Yeh was warm, Tah was extremely hot. I wished I was a Freezer.

There was no way to get cool on Yiika. Our only source of coldness is Freezers—the small population of Yiikans born with the ability to freeze things. They freeze food, make frozen things like popsicles and ice cream and ice, and are like heroes to society.

There are only ten or so of them anyway, and they are closely regulated. They sell their services, but a cut of the profit must go to the king. Not that he needs more money.

Our rich but old king, King Hark, was the most powerful Freezer of them all. He was pretty nice, and often hosted events where he gave out free frozen treats.

It only happened once or twice a month, so I sprinted as fast as I could over the hills—until I got to the biggest hill of all, the one that you could see from everywhere in the village. The royal palace towered over me, providing a little comfort from the burning noon sun.

It was twelve-oh-five when I made my deadly mistake.

I got in line. But it was long. The king sat on an ice throne—must be nice to have your butt be cold, I thought bitterly—handing popsicles to the kids. I was impatient at the back of sixty people. I had to get home to finish my homework, and these children had all day.

Why should I have to stand in the back? I thought.

That’s when I did the regret of my life.

I cut. Everybody. I squeezed to the front, where I took a spot behind the kid getting a popsicle. Before he was even done walking away, I knelt before the king and said, “Cherry, please. It’s my favorite.”

I thought I was pretty polite, but apparently, the king thought something else.

“You cut!” He boomed. “You’re a liar, a cheater, a disgrace to this world!”

It wasn’t even that big of a deal, but he went on and one about how awful I was. I just stayed there, on the ground, as he ranted about how I was raised.

“Girl, stand.”

I did, my head still bent.

“You’re a disgrace to this planet, do you hear me? You’re going to be banished.”

My eyes widened. “From…where? Here? Our village?”

“No,” he said coldly, “the planet.

My heart was thumping, pounding in my ears. “What do you mean?”

“You’ll be sent in a bubble-rocket tomorrow,” he said, “to Earth. Maybe the people there will take you in. You’ll be in the rocket for six months.”

My breathing turned shallow. What have I done? The little voice in my head said, scared. I was going to be sent away. From the planet. I was a Yiikan, so I didn’t need food or water to live, but surviving six months in solitary, in space, still sounded…awful.

I gulped. Gulped again. Then… “Is that all?”

“No,” King Hark bellowed. “You’re not only a disgrace to this planet, but you’re a disgrace to this world. You are not worthy of living.” I ONLY WANTED A POPSICLE! My brain screamed. I CUT A LINE, AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME?!

I hadn’t realized I had said the last part aloud until King Hark frowned. “Yes, but no.” He waved his hand, and a red popsicle appeared. He handed it to me. “You like cherry popsicles so much? Here.”

I took a cautious lick, then stopped when I saw King Hark’s grin. “That popsicle is your life,” he said, “it is bound to you by fate. As soon as it’s completely melted…”  

He made an ice bucket then stood up and kicked it into the hills. It shattered.

“What?!” I exclaimed. “But… but… it’s Tah! It’ll be gone in an hour!” My eyes widened again. “I’ll be gone in an hour!”

“Don’t worry. This popsicle is magic. You have six or so months before it's completely gone. Six or so months in the rocket, too. Now…I suggest you get back home.”

His lips curled into a small smile. “It’ll be your last time there, Say goodbye, Jay. Say goodbye.” 




I took a shaky breath as I am whisked back to the present. My eyes dart around, taking in the view of my current location.

It’s nothing new.

I’ve been floating through space for five months, twenty-nine days. My bubble rocket is a large, clear sphere the size of a gym. It’s unbreakable, and the only way I can get out is through a small door that I can open just once—when I land on Earth.

Speaking of Earth, I’ll be there soon. Very soon. The bubble rocket magically hurls through space super-fast towards Earth, and it’s been doing that for almost six months.

My life, in the form, of a cherry popsicle, has been shrinking for almost six months.

I used to have hopes and dreams. I wanted to be an adventurer, to find the magic of how to become a Freezer.

Now, my only hope is life is to get to Earth before the popsicle is completely melted. I wanted to see this other planet. What do its inhabitants look like? Technology? I wonder about its hierarchy.

I hope it doesn’t have an evil king.




“EARTH!” I shout, jumping a second later. The only sound I’ve heard for the past half year is my own voice, but I hardly speak. Any sort of noise startles me, even if it’s my own.

But soon, I’ll hear other people’s voices!

Earth is in sight. It’s huge! And so pretty! Green and blue, wrapped in a bundle of white. I wish Yiika looked like this—and I knew what it looked like from space, seeing I had a blast-off on it.

I shut down the memory and focus on the gorgeous planet up ahead.  

I glance at my popsicle. It’s in a clear sphere hanging around my neck—the sphere is made of a mix between plastic and glass, making it quite durable and hard to break. The temperature inside is a constant forty degrees by magic.

Anyways, the popsicle is extremely thin. A little bit of flavored ice lashed to a stick. I gulp as a single drop drips off the popsicle and into the pool of red sugar water at the bottom of the sphere.

I just want enough time.

Enough time to see Earth.

I have a couple days left to live, and a day or two before I get to Earth.

That seems possible. 

Right?

Space is always dark, so I choose when I go to bed and wake up. It looks like I’m almost there, so I decided to go to bed.

Hopefully, when I wake up, I get to see Earth before my popsicle completely melts.

Before I die.

I try to make myself comfortable on the hard, curved floor, and although I try to blink my sadness away, a tear still slips down my cheek.




I awake to being smacked against the side of the bubble.

“ACK!” I holler as I crash to the ceiling and to the floor again. This took being jostled around to a whole new level! But why?

I look around. Actually, this time. And nothing prepared me for what I was seeing next.

I was entering Earth’s atmosphere! The planet is right below me now, the shapes of land getting closer and closer. My body flies to the tip of the sphere as I hurtle towards the Earth.

Suddenly, I’m afraid.

Will the bubble-rocket make it?

 Most things burn up in Yiika’s atmosphere, but I don’t know about Earth. I know the bubble-rocket is supposed to be unbreakable, but does that mean it’s in-burnable? 

I’m terrified as I continue falling. My back is pressed against the top of the sphere, with so much force pressing against me my body counters gravity.

Oh, god…GRAVITY!

There’s gravity on Earth! I haven’t encountered the sensation for so long! In the rocket, I just let myself drift around. It was super hard to sleep. Now, for my remaining time on Earth, I would be STUCK ON THE GROUND!

No, I tell myself, trying to shut the gleeful thoughts down. Earth might not have strong gravity. Plus, you might die—from the fall or from your popsicle—before you get there, anyway.

My eyes crash shut as I wait until I arrive at my destination.




It takes so long.

So long. 

In reality, it takes only minutes for the fall to happen. But right now, it seems like I’ve been falling for years and years and years.

And now, I’m about to land.

My rocket just popped a parachute. How, though?! Magic, probably. The sphere is completely clear, so I would see any hatch. Anyways, the parachute is so huge my mind can’t even register the huge-ness.

I’m falling. Slower, now. I think it’s more magic to soften the fall. I’m back on the floor of the sphere as I drift down, down, down… 

ONLY TWO HUNDRED MORE FEET!

I’m so excited!

I’m about to die, but I’m so excited!

I’m slowly floating down to the ocean. Oh look, everybody is staring up at me. Hey, these guys look like Yiikans! Nice!

And…I’m…ON EARTH!

My sphere crashes into the ocean. I get jostled around even more, but somehow, I’m alive. 

Water is over the sphere now. I walk over—yes, WALK—to the hatch and pop is open. Water starts gushing in, so I swim out of the doorway and up to air.

I gasp and my lungs breathe.

And breathe… 

And breathe.

EARTH AIR! I’m so psyched.

I, Jay Moore, am on Earth.

I glance at the popsicle around my neck as I flounder on the surface. I’d say I have twenty-four hours before it melts completely. Before I die.

I’ve never been this close to death.

I’m literally on the edge, on the border.

It’s certain. My existence will be gone in a couple days.

The thought makes me want to break down and sob. It’s really hard, knowing when and how you’ll die. I’ve known for months, although uts feel like years. The only reason I’m still sane is because I’m trying, trying, trying to be cheerful.

I know I only have a day left to live.

But I don’t want to spend my last day before death worrying about dying.

I’m going to swim to shore and have fun.

I’m going to forget about this popsicle.

“GAH!” I shrieked. “Ahh! No!”

Hands are clutched around my waist. What’s happening?!

“It’s okay,” a female voice says from behind me, “I’ve got you. You’re not going to drown. Just relax.”

I get the idea. This Earthling is trying to save me.

I let whoever-she-is swim me back to the shore. Once there, I climb onto the sand and face her. “Hi.”

My savior looks around my age. She’s in a teal tankini with her inky black hair falling down her shoulders in curls. Her eyes are a brilliant blue and her lips are extremely red. She’s easily the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.

“Hello,” she smiles.

“Hi!” I say again. A HUMAN!!! “Thanks for saving me!”

She gulps. I can tell she’s freaking out. “How…how did you come from the sky?”

“First,” I say, “let’s talk.”

She leads me off the beach and to a… weird, flat stretch of rock. Big hunks of…metal? were scattered around. The girl walks up to one and pulls open a door. A row of leather seats are inside. She pats one. “Come on in.”

“What is this?” I breathe when we’re both seated.

“A private place,” she says. “Now, please, explain.”

“I’m Jay,” I said, “Jay Moore.”

“I’m Zippora,” she smiled. “I live in Arlington.”

I’m contemplating how to answer when Zippora put her hands on her knees. “Are you an alien?”

“What?” I say in delight.

“Well, you just hurtled from the sky. In a bubble.”

“A bubble-rocket,” I correct her. “And, I guess I’m an alien. I’m not from here, anyway. See, I used to live on the planet Yiika. I messed up and got sent here. I’ve been in space for half a year. Also, I’m about to die.”

“What?” She says, horrified.

“Long story short, my life is tied to this popsicle.” I lift my necklace up so she can see the sorry excuse for a dessert. “As soon as this baby melts, I die.”

“How can you live knowing that?!”

“It hasn’t been much of a life in space,” I muse, “but I’m here now. And I have around a day to have fun.”

Zippora stares at my popsicle. “Can’t you put it in a freezer?”

“In a Freezer?” I squint. “What? I don’t want somebody eating it.”

“‘Somebody’?”

“Yeah?”

We’re both super confused.

“All I know is that I have a freezer,” Zippora says, “and if you put your popsicle in there, it won’t melt.”

“A Freezer?” I say. “You can own a Yiikan?”

Zippora sighs. “Okay, what do you think a freezer is?”

“A Freezer is a person with magic ice powers.”

She giggles. “Well, our freezers are a kind of technology.” Another drips slides off my popsicle. “No!” I shout, looking down at my pop. “No, no, no! Hang in there, buddy!”

Zippora is definitely freaked out. I’m kind of amazed she believes me, but then again, she just saw me hurtle down from space. When that single Earthing came to Yiika ten years ago—he was an inventor, I think—we sure didn’t believe him, even though we saw him enter the atmosphere. It was especially hard to believe him when he spoke of a planet called Earth, but we eventually listened.  

“I need to get you to my house,” Zippora decides.

She gets out of the back seat and a second later, she’s sitting in a seat in front of me. “Buckle up,” she says, glancing back at me. “I’m driving.”




Driving is terrifying. 

The whole time, I was afraid the hunk of metal was going to jerk off course and kill me early.

Surprisingly, I lived.

We get to Zippora’s house just as the sun is starting to set. She takes out another bit of metal and slides it in the hole of her door. It opens and we walk in.

Her house is super different from mine. It’s cool—by which I mean cold, but it’s awesome, too.

Without even letting me admire her home, Zippora grabs my hand and leads me to her kitchen. In it is ANOTHER hunk of metal, tall and silver.

Zippora grabs a handle near the bottom and pulls.

I gasp. Part of the hunk of metal is a door!

I place my hand in and shiver. That’s cold.

“Okay,” Zippora says, “let’s put the popsicle in here. Can you break the container?”

I suck my breath in and smash it.

My life topples out.

Zippora scoops up the last bit of popsicle and places it in a bowl on the counter. Then, she puts the bowl into the…freezer.

Before she closes it, I watch as the popsicle melts a little. A drip is falling down, but before it slides off… 

It stops.

Frozen on the popsicle.

I gasp and swallow, my eyes swimming, as Zippora shuts the freezer. She looks up and smiles at me.

I tackle-hug her, so much salt water steaming out of my eyes I was afraid my tears ducts would break. I’m safe. I’m SAFE! The popsicle is frozen in time!

“You’re going to live a long, long time, Jay,” Zippora’s voice says from behind my neck.

I smile as more tears stream down my face. “I know.”

I bury my face in her shoulder, my body so full of raw emotion I’m afraid I’m going to burst. The curse is broken. I’m going to live. I finally choke out, 

Thank you.”



August 05, 2020 15:19

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186 comments

22:13 Aug 05, 2020

Okay, I got this idea from Rhondalise Mitza. Here’s a random list of ways to cure any author’s enemy: ₩Ɽł₮ɆⱤ’₴ ฿ⱠØ₵₭!!! *screaming* Anyways, some of these are tried and tested, some I made up like a second ago. Yippee. 𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑’𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊: 1. 𝙼𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚊𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜. 𝚂𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌! 2. 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝚗𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚕𝚎, 𝚙𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚛, 𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚕, 𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚜 𝙹𝚎𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚄𝙶𝙷. 𝙽𝚘𝚠, 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚐𝚘 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜. 2. 𝙶𝚘 𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔 ...

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Amany Sayed
12:56 Aug 06, 2020

Omg Aerin, I loveeee thisssss! Also, is the answer to the riddle that he is 25 in dog years? Idk...Jut decided to guess today...

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13:00 Aug 06, 2020

Haha, thanks! Wow, that works! Wasn’t the answer I was going for, but you still got it right! 😁😁😁

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Tvisha Yerra
16:05 Aug 07, 2020

Wow, this'll help! And the answer to today's riddle is a cold right? Also, great story! I feel like you could've explained that she was 16 and living in Ziika a bit more subtlety, but at least you got the point across!

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16:19 Aug 07, 2020

Yep, that’s it! 👏👏👏 Thanks!

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03:24 Aug 06, 2020

Hey, lovely imagination ! And thanks for the tips! - S

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11:52 Aug 06, 2020

😁

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Courtney Haynes
15:41 Aug 06, 2020

Love the tips. Will have to try! Trying to make this deadline. 🥵

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16:08 Aug 06, 2020

Haha, you can do it! 🤩

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15:47 Aug 05, 2020

Hi, guys! This story was a bit of an experiment. I never write in present tense, so I hope I did okay. Also, I hope you guys like how I wrote this, because I used a different voice! That’s pretty much it. Enjoy! ~Aerin (P. S. I know this is super long—seriously, I was just words away from the limit—but I hope it’s interesting the whole way through!)

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Amany Sayed
14:47 Aug 07, 2020

OKAY, WAIT, IS THE ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE YOUR BREATH?!?!? CAUSE LIKE, CATCH MY BREATH AND STUFF?!?!? IS ITTTTT

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15:00 Aug 07, 2020

YES, IT ISSSSSSSSSSSSS CONGRAAAAATS 🎉🎉🎉 Tehehehehe so very enthusiastic. Actually, I was going for ‘a cold’, but once again, you came up with a new answer! That means... DOUBLE CONGRATS!🎉🎉🎉 ...yeah. Bye!

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Amany Sayed
15:08 Aug 07, 2020

YASSSSSSSSSSS bye lol

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נιмму 🤎
20:48 Aug 08, 2020

riddles are so frustrating for me i would've never got that ( *in narrator voice* another episode of celeste butting herself into others peoples conversations and not having any boundaries)

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Amany Sayed
00:53 Aug 09, 2020

lol

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Amany Sayed
20:36 Aug 08, 2020

Omg Aerin! I love the way you changed your bio! Got to learn more bout u as well :) Keep writing!

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21:13 Aug 08, 2020

Thanks!

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Cam Croz
16:12 Oct 08, 2020

Wow! awesome story! I really love the worlds and charcters that you create! They are all super intersting, unique, and creative! This one was so good! I cant wait to read more.

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Thank you so much!

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Moonchild Luca
17:21 Aug 07, 2020

Answer: you catch a cold :D

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17:22 Aug 07, 2020

Yeah!

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Amany Sayed
16:18 Aug 05, 2020

Aerinnnn, I've been waiting for your next story!!! Yayyyy I loved this so much and speaking as someone who almost always writes in the present tense, I didn't find one mistake. Really great job. As always, it was so very creative! How do you come up with ideas?!?! And you said you're in writers block too...I wish I had your type of writer's block. It was amazing and I didn't get bored one bit. Over here, "“You’re going to life a long, long time, Jay," I think you meant to put live with a v. Other than that, I can't find anything wrong....

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16:23 Aug 05, 2020

Thanks you so much, Amany! Yay, I’m glad I didn’t mess up with present tense! I had to edit this story like 5 times to get rid of the ‘was’s and stuff... Haha, thanks! I WAS in writer’s block, then I decided I wanted to try something new to get out of it. Soooo I used a different tense, added a flashback, wrote in a bit of a different voice, and threw in a curse. Curses are always fun. 😆 Wow, thanks for catching that! 😄😄😄 Again, THANK YOU! Your feedback is always a delight to read!!!! ~aERIn~

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Amany Sayed
16:37 Aug 05, 2020

No problem! Haha, yes present tense is sometimes annoying. Yeah, actually if you didn't see, in the small writing advice thing in my bio, I say that making something bad happen to your protagonist is a great way to get rid of writers block and a curse is kind of the same thing. You're welcome! And any time, as are your stories!

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16:50 Aug 05, 2020

Haha, yeah! I original learned that trick a couple years ago and used it in my first novella. I typically do more drastic bad things, though—like, there was a giant wildfire (my main character was in the woods). Actually, before I did daily riddles, I did biweekly writing advice. One of them was yep, that. I thought it was funny when I learned you out the exact same trick in your bio!

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Amany Sayed
16:52 Aug 05, 2020

Haha yes! Also, waiting till I can read your book :) I'm trying to write two in the same time, but I'm not close to the end. Maybe one day...

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17:15 Aug 05, 2020

Yay! Haha, that’s what I used to do. See, me and my friend, Sarah, used to write in docs. But it wasn’t official or anything—we wrote a ton at once. Anyways, I slowly ditched my stories, until I had all but one—Color Quest. Seriously, I’m amazed CQ wasn’t ditched since I start it in 4th grade—17 months ago. Anyways. I finally realized that, as crazy as it sounded, one story at a time is the way to go. I think it’s so cool you’re writing two at once! Although, of I may, suggestion: you might want to switch your focus to one story, ...

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Kat Sencen
15:43 Jun 11, 2021

I hope there's never a power outage in which the freezer stops working-

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Lolz tru-

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05:50 Aug 19, 2020

I loved your ideas for writer's block! You are seriously so inspiring! You're my age and publishing a novel, and you have such great writing skills! It is always so fun to read your stories! If you wouldn't mind, could you check out my latest story, the queen of hearts, and give me feedback?

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Haha, thank youuuu! Of course I’ll read your story! 😁

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<3 >3
18:27 Aug 09, 2020

just to let yk its me celeste logged into my friends account to upvote more of your stuff like twice yk?

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18:58 Aug 09, 2020

Oh my gosh Celeste, for the millionth time, THANK YOUUUU! I haven't checked yet, but I think I’m either in the top ten on the leaderboard to close to thay! Thanks SO much for taking time out of your day to upvote my comments!!! 😆😆😆

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נιмму 🤎
20:45 Aug 09, 2020

No problem! I think your ten on the leaderboard now. Also, I noticed you posted a new story. I'll be sure to check it out later (rn I'm working on a top-secret new post for the new contest!!)

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20:46 Aug 09, 2020

Ooh nice I can’t wait to read it 😁 (I’ve actually been waiting for one of your new stories for a while hehe)

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נιмму 🤎
20:50 Aug 09, 2020

fr?? lol thanks, sorry for the wait. I've been waiting for some prompt to inspire me so hopefully I can have it posted today or as late as tomorrow. Hint: It is part 2 of one of my already posted stories!!

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20:54 Aug 09, 2020

Okidy dokes, hi again! Yesterday or something I upvoted a couple dozen of your comments, but then I had to do something.😅😅😅 Now I’m gonna upvote a ton! I dunno why I’m telling you this but just keep an eye out for a bunch more karma point! 🤣🤣🤣 Oki byeee! ~Aerin

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20:51 Aug 09, 2020

Nice 😎😎😎

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Moonchild Luca
16:42 Aug 08, 2020

13 hearts... Could it be the 'hearts' in the deck of cards? You know, Ace to King. I'm so sorry I don't remember the proper term. 🙁

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16:57 Aug 08, 2020

Yep, you got it right! 👏👏👏

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Moonchild Luca
17:13 Aug 08, 2020

Whew😰

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08:38 Aug 08, 2020

Answer to your riddle --> Butterflies. You can catch them with a net, but it's almost impossible to throw them.

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12:55 Aug 08, 2020

Haha. I guess that works too, but I was going for ‘a cold’ or, as Amany pointed out, ‘your breath’ works too.

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13:15 Aug 08, 2020

So it's kinda right. :)

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Moonchild Luca
17:23 Aug 07, 2020

Brilliant story, as always... 😊✨

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17:23 Aug 07, 2020

Thank you! ‘As always’ means SO MUCH! 😆😆😆

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Moonchild Luca
17:24 Aug 07, 2020

You're welcome 😊💜 You deserve every bit of that line💜💜💜💜💜

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17:25 Aug 07, 2020

🤩🤩🤩 🥰🥰🥰 Thank you!!!

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Regina Perry
18:41 Aug 17, 2020

Today's riddle I know. It's tomorrow. Or I suppose you could say the future. I prefer tomorrow, though, especially because you said, "The answer will be revealed tomorrow." I know it always says that, but in this case, you could put the punctuation just a little differently, like this: The answer will be revealed: tomorrow.

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21:31 Aug 17, 2020

Yesss congrats you got it right! 🥳

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Regina Perry
19:29 Aug 16, 2020

I love the way you handled this prompt. Why write about a melting popsicle if at least one person's life isn't threatened by it, am I right?

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Ha, yup!

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Regina Perry
22:00 Aug 16, 2020

Oh- and is the answer to today's riddle steam?

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Sorry, no! But that’s definitely the most interesting guess so far...

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Conan Helsley
23:40 Aug 14, 2020

This is a very interesting concept. There are things I would change or clarify, like when she says to open the popsicle container. Early on you say it's dripping onto Jay. If it's dripping onto him, how is it in a container that needs to be broken in order to place it in the freezer? Also, why does the Yiikan have a human name, but the human have an alien sounding name? How can a being from another planet survive in our environment? Is the Yiikan air mixture the same as ours? Why is dishonesty given such a heavy penalty? I think with your ta...

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Wow, thanks so much for all that feedback!

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Phil Manders
10:54 Aug 13, 2020

Hi Aerin. An interesting story and a good use of the prompt. You started off with great alternative details for the planet Yiika. You could have had more fun with this all the way through the story. The character measured the distance left to earth in feet. Maybe an alien measurement would have been better? It’s a small detail but I’m trying to be helpful 😁 Great work! Now, can you explain the magic of how the Karma points work as you have Thousands of them and I have hardly any😂👍

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Thanks for all the feeeeedback! Hehe, I don’t know. But I post a ton of comments on stories, and sometimes I ask if the author could read one of mine, so more people check them out. Oh, and there are a looooot of a comment up voters, especially my Reedsy friends Amany and Celeste. We sometimes go on sprees of upvoting one another, like a couple days ago, when I got another 200 points. Haha, I’m sure you’ll climb up the leaderboard soon! Thanks again! ~Aerin

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Nic Siemer
23:56 Aug 12, 2020

Hi Aerin! I really enjoyed this story; I wasn't sure how I would feel after she was sent to Earth for a minor mistake. But it was good. The style was wonderful, and your world building seemed spot on. I liked where you took this prompt. Good job!

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Thank you so much!

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Sunny 🌼 🖤
16:20 Aug 12, 2020

Wow Aerin. This was a really cool story.

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Thank you!

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