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Romance Funny

"I'd like to speak to your manager." He hated resorting to this; it made him feel pompous and self rigorous. Yet, sometimes it was just necessary to ask for more assistance than a young associate could offer. Besides, all he wanted was a discount he saw online to be honored in the store. It wasn't even a high discount, just 20% off, but he liked getting a deal. Sure, past lovers had called him cheap because he enjoyed eating at home instead of crowded, unnecessarily noisy restaurants. He enjoyed cooking and hated wasting food. Why buy something if you aren’t going to use it. And why pay full price if you don’t have to.

He looked at his watch calculating how much time he’d already spent waiting for a manager. He started tapping his foot standing at the service desk.

"Sorry for the wait. How may I help you?" a voice asked emerging from his left. She stepped behind the desk and, before making eye contact, searched for a pad of paper. After getting herself settled she looked at the disgruntled customer. He still had not answered her question. He watched her, his mouth slightly open, eyebrows scrunched together. She raised an eyebrow in return, "Sir?"

He shook his head, "Oh, I'm sorry." He put his hands together in front of him then ran one hand over this buzzed graying hair while squinting his eyes at her, "I just feel like I know you."

Her head moved back slightly, "Oh."

"Ah, that sounded weird. I'm sorry. You just look extremely familiar. I cannot figure out from where."

She looked down at her feet, and then back at the customer. "I've been told I have a familiar face."

"No, I really think I know you."

"Sir, I'm sorry I cannot better assist you with your memory but it's a bit of a busy shift. Do you need assistance with your purchase?"

"Ah, yes," he reached into his coat pocket for his phone. He proceeded to type his password incorrectly three times. She now looked around the store as a continuous stream of walkie-talkie messages continued in her ear. "Okay, yes, sorry." He showed her the store’s website opened on his phone. "Online, it shows this item as 20% off, but at the cash register the discount was not applied."

"That’s an online only discount, Sir."

"So, I cannot use it here?"

"Correct. Sorry for the inconvenience." She wrote something on the pad and put it back under the counter. "Do you need assistance with anything else?" She asked while moving around the counter to leave.

"No." She was almost out of earshot as he spoke up again, "Actually, yes!"

She stopped mid-step and rotated to face him, "Yes?"

"I know where I know you from."

She faced her open palms to him and waited for him to continue. 

"Did you go to Saint James High School?" He now had a smirk on his face and a finger extended towards her. 

She stopped moving closer to him, "I did."

"I can't believe it didn’t occur to me earlier, Diane."

She instinctively put her hand to her chest where her name tag would normally sit. In the hassle of the day she’d forgotten her name tag and instead was wearing a generic Manager badge.

He let out a laugh as he stared to lean toward her, "I can't believe you don’t recognize me." He was now fully relaxed and leaning against the desk she had just been standing behind. He dropped his voice into a husky whisper and muttered, "Come on, baby."

"My God, Mark." She backed up slightly.

He opened his arms wide expecting, and hoping for a passionate embrace between two high school sweethearts torn apart by the cruel mistress of time. Diane continued to stay a safe distance away with no intention of closing the gap she intentionally created between them. Mark dropped his arms, unfazed by Diane's unwillingness to celebrate this occasion. "What’s it been? 30? 40 years? Wow, you look the same as back then."

Diane cannot help but let out a brief snort, "Funny it took you so long to recognize me then."

Mark either ignored the comment or never heard it, "Last time I saw you was at graduation. We kept looking for an opportunity to sneak away to spend some time together" Mark moved his bent elbow side to side as if someone was standing next to him, "You know, alone."

Diane visibly shuttered and whispered more to herself than anyone else, "Glad we never did." She answered a question into the microphone connected to her earpiece. She then spoke firmly aloud, "Well, nice seeing you again."

Just as she turned to leave he closed the gap between them. "Wait," he said louder than intended, "I've always wondered something."

She dropped her head and reluctantly faced him again, "What?"

His demeanor changed to uncertainty. "Why did I never hear from you again? I called, you never answered. I drove by your house. I was told you moved in with your grandmother. I was pretty beat up."

Diane could help but release a full belly laugh in response. Once she gathered her composure, she moved in close enough to smell his earthy aftershave. "That's hilarious. You know the last time I saw you? At John's graduation party."

"You were there?" Mark asked.

"Yep. Walked in just in time to find you in a full-body make-out session with someone who wasn’t me!" 

Now Mark took a step backwards. "D, I'm..."

"Don't you D me. "Diane moved in closer, pining Mark against the desk.

"I'm sorry you were a little beat up. I was fucking depressed. I went away to ensure I'd never have to see your face again. Until today. My fucking lucky day. I recognized your smug grin the minute I saw you. I hoped you'd continue to pretend I never existed, as you had on that night. And as I will continue to do for the rest of my life." Diane turned around and headed to the other side of the store. 

Mark turned back to the counter to find the young associate clearing his throat. "Would you still like to purchase the item?" Mark absentmindedly handed over his credit card. As he left the store he turned around one last time to scan the aisles.

August 11, 2020 01:04

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