A Moment Changes Everything

The clock on the wall was ticking so loudly that it easily distracted Melissa from the chaos of the hospital waiting room and the incredibly uncomfortable chair that was cutting into her lower back. She looked around the room, taking in the different faces conveying a variety of emotions; fear, sadness, elation and even disgust. Those displaying disgust were clearly observing the man in the corner, who appeared to be a transient and was sleeping with his body crammed into one of those chairs designed to accommodate two people with no bar between the seats. Everyone in the waiting room avoided that area and had chosen seats that allowed for distance from the unpleasant smell emanating from the man. 

“Melissa” she heard her name and looked up to see her husband’s best friend Sam standing before her. “How is he?”

“I don’t know. No one has been out to speak to me yet.” she replied as he lowered his lean body into the seat to her right. “When I arrived they said he was being evaluated and it could be awhile before the doctor came out”.

Just two hours earlier she had been in a luxury hotel room with her legs wrapped around this beautiful man’s waist. She had been basking in the glow of what was the most fulfilling sexual experience of her life. It had been a long time coming, after years or knowing each other and months of flirting, secret meetings involving hours of kissing and deep conversation. Melissa had been married almost seventeen years to Neil. Sam was his best friend from college and was married to a coworker of Melissa’s to whom Melissa had introduced Sam. They all had children; Sam and Barb’s being younger than Melissa and Neil’s ten and thirteen year old boys. The families had spent countless hours together; both at home and away on vacations and camping trips. Then, during one evening of drinking and playing cards late in the evening last spring, Melissa had looked up from her cards and her eyes met Sam’s and she saw something she had never seen in them before. His deep brown eyes conveyed a message of longing and admiration. They held the gaze for just a few moments but it felt to Melissa like the world had changed. 

“Should I get us some coffee from the cafeteria?” Sam’s voice interrupted her memories. “Seems like we may be here for awhile”. As he said this he gently reached over and clasped her hand in his and gave it a comforting squeeze. 

“Maybe in a little while. Right now, can we just sit here together?” Melissa replied letting her mind fall back to the past few months. They both had acknowledged all along that a future was next to impossible, yet neither could stop reaching out for the other. Only a few hours ago, when the call came into her cell phone about Neil, they had been having the now familiar conversation again. The call that Neil had collapsed at work and been taken to the emergency room by ambulance had ended the conversation and abruptly changed their reality. Melissa had gotten dressed, retrieved her car from the valet and broken every speed law to get to Neil as quickly as possible. She was feeling blessed that it was the middle of the day and traffic was light. When she arrived at the hospital, the feeling of being alone, combined with terror, quickly overcame her. 

“Ok, I will stay here with you. We are in this together, he’s my best friend”. Sam replied while also reflecting on the past few months and the overwhelming emotions he was currently experiencing. Currently the most prevalent being guilt, but that was an emotion that had plagued him since he admitted to himself and Melissa how he was feeling. His mind was a constant barrage of what an asshole he was and how could he do this to Neil and to his family. But what he experienced with Melissa was unlike anything he had ever experienced in his life. It was more than a physical attraction, it was like he inhaled a breath of fresh mountain air every time he was in her presence. Neil had first introduced them shortly after they were married, when he and Neil reconnected after five years following college graduation. Both men’s careers had taken off on different sides of the country, but when Sam was transferred back to the west coast he reached out to Neil and the friendship continued as if there had been no lost time. 

“What are we going to do now?” Melissa’s words crept in and interrupted Sam’s thoughts. 

“I don’t know, I honestly don’t know” was the only reply Sam could manage to escape his mouth and he reached over to gently touch her hand. Melissa responded, grasping onto his fingers with purpose. As her fingers closed around his, Sam heard a barely audible sound escape her lips and as he turned his head he saw the first tear begin to roll down her face. He wanted to be able to tell her that everything was going to be ok, but he knew that was not the reality of the situation. His eyes caught a movement to his right and turning his head back he saw a very tall woman dressed in light blue scrubs, complete with the shoe covering booties, walking toward them while reaching to remove her surgical mask. 

“Mrs. Campbell?” the woman said quietly as she closed the distance between herself and the group of chairs in which Sam and Melissa were sitting. Sam felt Melissa’s hand release his fingers which unexpectedly left him with a feeling of loss that he could not understand in the moment.

 “Yes, that’s me” Melissa responded and stood up, looking small and vulnerable next to the woman who was easily over six feet tall.  “Is Neil ok?” Melissa seemed to choke out as the floodgate of tears began to open and roll down her cheeks. 

“I am Doctor Zimmerman, I am a trauma doctor and I was called to evaluate your husband. As you know he arrived unconscious after collapsing at work. One of his coworkers immediately started CPR. We believe he had a stroke, we are still running diagnostic tests. We are not sure how long his brain was deprived of oxygen and won’t know for some time. He is alive, he is breathing with help but he is still unconscious. We are preparing him to be transferred to the ICU shortly, but it will be several hours before we know more.”

Dr. Zimmerman then excused herself and headed back into the emergency room. Melissa and Sam slowly lowered themselves back into their chairs, their hearts and minds heavy with worry and grief. “I am so scared. What if he is not the same?” was the first thought in Melissa’s mind and that crossed her lips. She felt like she was betraying Neil by saying this to Sam. 

As Sam listened to the words that escaped Melissa’s lips he was overcome with emotions ranging from grief to love. In that moment, he realized that he loved the woman in front of him. She was not his best friend’s wife, at that moment. It became clear to him that over the past six months she had become his closest friend, the person with whom he shared his most intimate thoughts. In that moment the thoughts that invaded his mind included love, grief and betrayal. He knew that he had betrayed his closest friend and his wife and children, by loving Melissa. 

“We need to take a breath and see what happens. He might be just fine, the doctors don’t know yet.I know you are scared, I am too, but fear won’t help anyone now” Sam said. But even as the words left his mouth he struggled to believe them himself. He could only imagine the thoughts and pictures going through Melissa’s mind about her future. He knew they didn’t include him, even though just a few hours ago they had whimsically spoken about their future and the possibilities that the future could hold. It was amazing how one moment in time, one phone call, could change the course of so many lives. 

“Are you kidding me? Fear won’t help anyone? What exactly am I supposed to be feeling, Sam?” Melissa’s words cut deep into Sam, and she knew it. She immediately resented her tone. She knew he was trying to help, and failing horribly. However, she could not take them back. In a matter of hours she had gone from feeling loved and cherished to scared and desperate. Fear and desperation are two of the most motivating feelings and they were absolutely impacting Melissa and guiding her behavior now. She knew she should apologize. Sam was there to support her and Neil, but their relationship complicated the support in so many ways. 

“Mrs. Campbell?” Melissa looked up and saw a Nurse walking quickly towards her. “There has been a change in his condition, you need to come now”.