So what time do you think this is, young man?

“So what time do you think this is young man?”

“I strongly believe that it is one o’clock, old man. That’s what the clock on the wall tells me, although it doesn’t speak out loud.  And I have found it to be pretty reliable in the past, so I will trust it now.”

“So you come home late, and your mouth is filled with sarcasm, eh boy.”

“No, I left a lot of my sarcasm at the party, old man. I didn’t know that I would be needing so much when I got home. Otherwise I would have kept quiet when I was there.”

“I think that you have an inexhaustible supply, young man, an inexhaustible supply.”

“So, I wonder where I learned my sarcasm from, old man. Somebody must have taught me well, don’t you think?”

“Okay, enough of that. So what did you and your friends do at this party that made you come home so late, way past your curfew?”

“You know that question gives me a great opportunity for more sarcasm, but I am going to stop that right now. I am going to speak to you straight.”

“That would be good for a change, son. So what did you guys do?”

“Well, we drank some. We smoked some. We listened to some very loud music, some of it that rock and roll that you call the best kind of music ever invented. But we didn’t just listen to it. Some of us danced as well, fast and slow.”

“Did you dance?”

“Yes, I danced with a lovely girl, a young woman with some great moves. We danced quite a lot, actually, quite a lot.”

“And then?”

“And then what?”

“And then what did you two do after you danced?”

“Well, we sweated a lot, because most of the dances were fast ones, my jeans and denim shirt are kind of warm, and she wore a heavy sweater.”

“Come on, you know what I am asking you, son. Don’t play cutie pie with me.”

“Well, we left together, and I walked her home. She lives on the other side of town. That is one reason why I just arrived here at around one o’clock. It was a long walk. And I got a little bit lost on the way home.”

“You have your mother’s sense of direction, son. But don’t ever tell her that I said that. Do you hear, young man? Never tell her.”

“Not a word, will I say, not a word. And you don’t have to buy my silence, unless you really want to. You could rent it right now for a small fee. Is mom awake?”

“No, she would not be awake at this indecent hour. Now answer my question.”

“Are you asking me for juicy details then?

“Not details, no. I just want to know whether you got a kiss goodnight. That’s all.”

“It’s kind of complicated. Are you sure you want to hear the whole story?”

“Okay, now you have me wondering what the hell happened. You have to tell me now, son.”

“Well, it went like this. We walked up to her front door, and she turned to face me. I was just about to give her a big sloppy kiss, when the door opened, and she almost fell right into the hallway.”

“Well, you’ve really got me interested now, son. What happened next?

“Her father happened next. He appeared at the door. He glared at me, and then asked Sheila, that’s her name by the way, almost the exact same question that you asked me. ‘What time do you think this is young lady?’”

“And did she give the exact same sarcastic answer?”

“No, it was a little different. She looked at her watch, and said ‘My watch says that it is a little after twelve o’clock.’”

“You two are a good match then, both gifted in smartass.”

“My thoughts exactly, except for the smartass label.  She then said, “An hour passed my curfew, I know.’”

“So I am assuming, then, that you didn’t get a goodnight kiss.”

“Not really, dad. Not really.”

“Okay, kiss and tell, son.”

“Even though he was glaring at me, I spoke to him in a way that I think was respectful.”

“What did you say?  I want to hear what your ‘respectful’ sounds like, just in case I ever get to hear it sometime.”

“I told him that I was totally the one to blame, that I was the one who kept on insisting that we have ‘just one more dance.’”

“So you were listening, then, when I told you the story of the girl that I kept up past her curfew, and who had been grounded by her parents. And of how I called her father the next day, and apologized to him for keeping his daughter out so late.”

“Did you ever go out with her again, then?”

“No, she was still grounded for a month, in which time I started going out with your mother.”

“You shameless flirt.”

“So what happened next? Didn’t he tell you never to be with his daughter again?”

“No. He told me that he respected my honesty, which is kind of ironic in a way.”

“What do you mean, ‘ironic’?

“Well, our continuing to dance was a mutual decision.  I didn’t want to mention that.  I knew that would get her in trouble with her dad. I want to be able to see Sheila again.”

“Okay, so what did happen next? What did Sheila’s father do after you little-white-lied with your apology?”

“He shook my hand. Then he turned and walked away, saying that he was very tired, and needed to go back to bed, right after he went to the bathroom for ‘a long pee’.”

“Okay, Dave, please tell me what happened after that”

“Well, dad, Sheila stepped outside with me and softly closed the door behind her.”

“And then? And then?”

“Well, with the long pee time that her father gave us, we kissed, dad, and were able to exchange phone numbers and e-mail addresses on our cell phones.”

“You know, Dave, you are more like me at your age than I thought you were.’

“Thanks for that, dad. From what you just said, I think that is true. I am carrying on a family tradition of male relationship excellence.”

“So Dave, would you like to have coffee, maybe with some of those cookies that your mother baked?”

“Sure dad, sure. We can talk about your old times.”