Home Cooking

She ripped out the last few pages of the book of her life. It might even have been a few chapters, or a lot of chapters. That didn’t matter, because the pages were gone, for reasons only she knew, and she needed a new book anyway. Obviously she wasn’t going to find what she needed, what she was looking for, in any of the usual places - a bookstore, a library, a used book shop. The next pages, if they were to contain any material worth her time, were going to have to come from her. They weren’t going to consist of mere paper, either. However, since she was going to be author, editor, publisher, and muse, she would need to do this right.

Not an assertive person normally, she realized what she was about to do might not be a big deal for a lot of people, but for her it would constitute an act of bravery. She hoped she was up to the challenge. The decision she was about to make would take her life in a totally different direction. You see, she had mostly been just a member of a group that received orders from a boss or supervisor of some sort, and was the type who did her best to comply. She liked being in agreement with others, being part of what some called a “team,” although she herself preferred to reserve that term for sports. Work or school should not have teams. Still, she never said that out loud and thus got along with almost everyone. Her tongue almost always hurt, though, from biting on it in order not to say things that might not be accepted. After all, fitting in was important.

Hence the chapters that had been removed, because they pertained to her employment experiences. Minefields, she thought, looking back on them. She needed to go back to earlier years, to when she wasn’t in competitive situations, fast decision-making, endless hours of drudgery - the hours had increased markedly, too! - and produced report after report that supposedly would justify everybody’s job. Before that, there had been school, vacations, holidays, but most of all, there had been the freedom to choose. Transportation to school: walk, rid her bike, take the school bus. That was just one example, but there were others like choosing a Halloween costume or a name for a pet or whether to read or color. Being able to assess her options, maybe try some out even, and being told to go ahead, her wish was her command.

Then, of course, adulthood stifled all of that creativity and fitted her into its straitjacket. (A garment made even stiffer by remnants of puritanical Protestantism that had been administered on Sundays.) Well, she was done with that and knew the path to take was mostly comprised of the past.  However, she wasn’t going to go backward, which would be a huge mistake. She would recreate that past with her middle-aged, now-unemployed self in the center. Being in the center was a bit daunting, or even snobbish, but she knew where the idea was coming from.

Her mother had liked to say that if she could, she’d build a kitchen and the house around it. She probably didn’t intend for the house itself to be round, but her daughter had kind of liked the concept. A kitchen with all that a kitchen can mean for a family. We all know what that signifies.

So now she thought her next steps ought to be toward acquiring a kitchen. Not that she didn’t have one in her condo, no; one that would be in the center of a large, homey space where people gathered for food and more. For the good fortune of this story, she saw an ad for a rental of a nineteenth-century schoolhouse on the Maine coast. Actually, there was no rental; the owners wanted to see somebody using it because an empty school was such a sad thing. All she had to pay were the utilities and they would even help with the costs of installing kitchen equipment. The couple knew a lot about art and history, and had some contacts who offered to donate a few furnishings.

Somehow the idea of a one-room schoolhouse is such a sentimental one that even those of us who’ve never even been in one think they’re worth preserving… ah, better days…

She could not believe what was happening! Her kitchen-in-the-center idea was one others liked, too. Her kitchen in the center of a house that was a school house was even more appealing. Yet she hadn’t had to slog through reports and consultants’ recommendations, print off reams of tree-killing exams, or complete an annual report on her performance in her discipline. All she had done was eliminate those pages and sleep on the possibilities and suddenly the idea was there! The rental property was there, its owners were there, even their friends had joined in.

She needed to think about her kitchen now, think about what it could look like, what she would serve, how it could possibly be located, not in the exact center of the building, but in the center of one side. She chose the latter location, for reasons not relevant here. As to food, she wanted to keep it as simple - or complex! - as she felt like. After all, there was no need to think of building something big. That was to be avoided at all cost.

There’s no need to give all the details of the period leading up to the opening and afterward, despite it being interesting to know all the things that led to the description we’re now going to give of what The Schoolhouse looks like now. 

Just see the previous paragraphs as a prologue if you like. [Author’s Note]

The Schoolhouse has a view of the Atlantic: Maine’s Casco Bay. People go from many places, but mostly from Maine. She (the owner) has a menu that is never fixed. She plans it according to how she feels, and knows to be extra cautious if she is not in the right frame of mind. She knows how certain things can affect how the food turns out, just as happens with art and writing. That doesn’t usually happen nowadays, because her schoolhouse is really her home, and she likes being home. She remembers…

It might seem a bad business practice to have a floating menu, but unpredictability has worked for her. She is not the only person who is buoyed by randomness and quirky habits; she now has many friends who are similar, who are drawn to the flicker of what-next? like the proverbial moths to a flame. Drawn by their intuition, maybe unconsciously, drawn to the earliest chapters of their own books. Wanting to get out and dance, or sing, or paint the town red (which is not about going to a bar and getting drunk). She, like these new people in her life, no longer has a hurting tongue; it has long since healed.

So the menu kind of does what it wants and is all over the map. It’s really best to call ahead or, of course, consult online. Dishes don’t get repeated very often, unless there is a big call for them. She makes traditional, international, fusion, anything she thinks will turn out well and please the people eating it.

It will help to provide examples of some days at The Schoolhouse. Note that there is not a huge variety on any given day, although some days do show a larger selection. These are to help you understand her approach to the kitchen offerings:

Chile con carne with cheese on top and shredded lettuce underneath. There is a vegetarian version, but the kidney beans will always be cooked from scratch. Please don’t ask how spicy it is, because that’s a matter of taste. Beverages we suggest: a good cold lime seltzer, a good cold draft beer with a twist of lime, a dry white wine sangría with lime slices instead of oranges and not much sweetening. (PS: This is standard college student fare.)

Pintxos, tapas, hors d’oeuvres, mezedes, etc. The house favorites are Basque, Cypriot, and Evie’s (nutty guy, owner of a roadside stand when she was a girl). Any beverages can work in this case, but top suggestions are: txacolí, retsina, tea - we have around a hundred kinds - , and mineral water from Mondariz which we import through a local business that has friends in the country.

Soup, glorious soup! We loved the story about stone soup as a little girl and hope everybody has read it. That way you’ll know why you must bring a soup ingredient in order to eat tonight. We supply the stones and the pots. The customers are responsible for bringing the remaining ingredients. There’s actually no limit on the number of ingredients, but be aware that we wish to keep both non-vegetarian and vegetarian options open. For some people, the beverage of choice might be a tall glass of milk, but this is the decision of each customer. We also should mention that there will be several types of crackers, on the House.

Kale Day (or night, for the supper crowd). We know kale has become popular in recent years, but some people still make faces when it’s mentioned. We invite you to bring one kale-hating friend, who will eat for free. We hope they’ll eat. We will be serving around twenty dishes which have kale as an ingredient: salad, bread, cookies, quiche, lasagna, ice cream, and kale coffee. There will be a Kale IQ contest ongoing during the meals. It’s kind of like a trivia contest.

Food is Art. Depending on what ingredients are available, the dishes will be prepared to match depictions of food and meals by famous artists. There may be works by older artists for whom the still life was popular. We promise not to include any dead, feathery fowl or fish in our dishes. For fans of the painter who portrayed busts of humans made up of food, we’re thinking about how to pull that one off. Beverages of any kind will be served in goblets, French porcelain, or steins, as well as fine crystal.

That should give an idea of ways she approached feeding people who wanted to come spend time in a school house, those romantics. Now we need to explain that she wasn’t satisfied with filling stomachs; she wanted the customers (a word she never used for them) to learn something, to go away thinking just a bit differently. She really mulled this over for some time before trying out a few things. This was where she saw it had been a good decision to put the kitchen in the center of one side. Now there was a space for other activities if tables were moved aside. 

Some of the things she thought of, and seemed to have help people learn something when they came to eat were:

Bring a book to leave here and get 20% off your bill. Bring five books and get a main dish free. Bring 10 books and get both 20% off and a free main dish, as well as free dessert and coffee. We are helping to build a library in Honduras, so the books will go there. They should be appropriate for a general public.

Anybody can volunteer to do a class here - after all this is a school. We are especially interested in creative writing, abstract painting, the cuisine of Galiza, any language other than English, bead making, growing herbs, wildlife rehabilitation, and restoring old furniture and fabric. If you have an idea, just let us know. We will be your support staff. If you will be charging for the class, please keep the cost low. Thank you.

Quilting bee. That says it all. We may stay open later, if attendees would like.

Bagpipe lore. Talk about them, their history, how they’re made, where they’re played. Plan to bring your bagpipe if you have one, because you’ll want to play it.

Bobbin lace. History and techniques, patterns, etc. Includes instructions for those who want to make their own pillows.

Game of petanque. This is best played outside, so keep informed as to weather conditions in the area. One free beverage per player. 

Origami and pop-up. Learn or teach. What you create should be sent or given to somebody who will appreciate it.

Food fight. We do not condone wasting food, but a bit of messy fun is healthy. Depending on the weather, we prefer to hold this outside. Note that no large, hard food items will be allowed. Suffice it to say, people are welcome to bring ‘a dish to pass’.

Rug-making. There are so many ways to make rugs and so many designs. Classes in rugs from India, Portugal, Serbia, and other countries.

Come to eat, come to photograph food! We will have a whole collection of foods and backdrops that you can arrange to your liking and photograph for your own use later. Lots of variety and color guaranteed. Persons wishing to incorporate flowers into their photographs are welcome to see if any are growing nearby or can bring their own.

Dandan Shuffle night. Appropriate footwear required. (N.B.: Food will be served buffet style on this night, so dancers can dance, eat a little, and get back to dancing.)

Blues night. Interpret that as you wish, but to enter, each person must present proof of blue.

Hieroglyphics, cuneiform, or Maya glyphs. We don’t understand them either, but somebody does, hopefully. 

Latin night. Not salsa Latin. Latin Latin. Warning: Verb conjugations can increase thirst, appetite, or both. Scary fun, though. Speaking from experience.

Crayon night. We’ll have a big supply, but if you have your favorite crayons, bring them if you can keep track of them. We’ll have some basic drawing paper and coloring books for different ages, but feel free to bring your own.

Mending night, Bring something to mend, even if it’s just a heart. We’ll serve food to match. Think kintsugi, maybe. That touch of gold, healing.

Wabi-sabi group discussion. Ongoing, throughout the meal. Listen and eat, or talk and eat (not at the same time).

Pilgrim night. Dress appropriately. We will offer food fit for pilgrims, but cannot divulge the menu at this time because it might scare you off. Pilgrims on St. James’ way didn’t often have full bellies until they reached Compostela. If you’ve been a pilgrim, you’ll get to tell us about that. Geography quiz at the end of the evening; winner gets a staff and a free meal.

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She was sitting now by herself. Everybody had gone home, leaving the place spotless, smelling like lemon or lime, airy with silence. She could only be thankful that one day she had decided to write her own book, a book that could only be written together with other people. Others who spoke clearly, in other languages, seeing other colors. People who never grew old because they sensed - no, they knew - there was always more to write.

More to dance.

More to learn.

More to eat. 

Savoring every minute, devouring the hours.

People like her, whose cup was running over, at last.