22 comments

Kids Funny

There once was a town, not much known for ordeals, of people who had no teeth for their meals. No teeth for smiles or piles of food, no teeth to display their feelings or moods. It was quite a sad scene, these toothless folk, whose lives had all but gone up in smoke. 

Oh, they hadn’t always been toothless. 

At one time, everyone had a set of white teeth, 

strong chomping teeth, 

chewing gnawing teeth. 

Teeth to eat steak, and for veggies and fruit, teeth to eat cheeses while on their commute.

And their teeth loved being teeth. 

They felt good at their jobs, and powerful, too. They could grind any food with a gnaw and a chew. It was a team effort, that much was true, but together, there was nothing that they couldn’t do.

And the people loved their teeth back.

They brushed them and polished them and avoided all boxers. They ate no sugar and saw the tooth doctors. They gave big smiles as they passed each other by, and flashed toothy grins as they politely said, “Hi!”

But then, something happened. Something terrible. Something that no one saw coming, quite out of the blue. Something tempting, and sumptuous, and exciting, and new.

On a trip, someone traveled to a land far away. They brought back a cake that made everyone’s day. It was a scrumptious and sweet and chocolatey food, it melted like butter in their mouths as they chewed.

“If cake can be this good,” they said, “then so can many other things!”

They all began baking and cooking and making. Pies, cookies, and sweet breads for the taking. 

They made candies and taffies and caramel apples and tarts. The sweet foods made them feel all warm in their hearts. The more sugar the better as they whipped the whipped cream, and created desserts only seen in their dreams. 

And they ate.

And they ate.

AND THEY ATE.

They ate so many sugars, their teeth filled with holes. They lost their white shine, it took a terrible toll. It was painful to watch and awful to feel, as the teeth cried out in pain with a squeal.

“Please brush us!” the teeth cried. “And please stop eating sweets!”

But the people were too busy eating their eats to listen to teeth. They just kept eating and eating, more sugars and treats. After all, they were teeth, what could they know? They must do as they’re told, they’ve got nowhere to go!

So the people kept eating the sugary snacks, gorging themselves and becoming more lax. Candy bars, brownies, ice cream, and pop. There was no room for vegetables, they just wouldn’t stop! 

The teeth felt so awful and rundown and smelly. Without getting brushed, they smelled like soured pork belly.

“Please take us to the doctor, and get us fixed up! We hurt and we smell, and we need a check-up!”

But the teeth’s desperate pleas fell on deaf ears.

Ears of candy corn, that is. 

The teeth doctors left, there was no work to do. No one in town would hear what they knew. Oh, they had tried to put up a fight, and stand up for the teeth with all of their might. But not one person listened, not even one, and soon the misdeeds could not be undone. 

The people did not want to stop filling their faces, so the teeth began to pack up their suitcases.

And just like that, they popped from their places, and left the people with only disgraces.

The teeth marched away and well out of sight, with no plans to return to mouths full of blight.

The people were sad, but what could they do? They ate even more to keep from feeling blue. Food got them this far, maybe it could ease their woes, and fill the big void they felt down to the tips of their toes. 

Except…

Eating was hard, VERY HARD, without teeth around. They could no longer chew all those candies in mounds. They could not chomp or crunch, bite, pull or munch. They could not eat anything that packed a punch.

They tried crushing their food in a big stomping pit, mashing and smashing it all into bits. But this was no good, to turn food into jelly, as more food ended up in their toes than their bellies.

They could not even eat healthy foods anymore, and were left with a menu of foods that were a bore. Mashed potatoes was king, and soon became hated, as it was the only food there was to be plated.

It was a sad day when the town figured out what they’d done. They’d caused their good teeth to leave them and run. The people missed their teeth terribly, but what could they do? For your teeth don’t come back once they’ve up and left you. 

Except....

These teeth, they felt badly, for leaving their town. How could they eat without teeth around? The people would starve without them around, or worse, be forever smoothie and mashed potato-bound. So the teeth journeyed back and returned to their home, with conditions in place, or they’d once again roam from each and every face. 

The people agreed no more sweets! Well, at least…

...no more piles of sweets and towers of treats. Maybe one candy (two?) and not a bite more, then healthy foods only, like the teeth had asked for. And they brought back the doctors, and paid them all double, to keep them and their teeth all out of tooth trouble.

And so it was that there had been a town with no teeth. If we look at their story, there’s a lesson beneath. Unhappy teeth do not stay in their place, and if you aren’t kind they may hop away from your face! So brush them and love them and treat them with care, and your teeth will stay with you until you’re old with gray hair.

Then there’s dentures. But that’s for another story.

April 09, 2023 04:39

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22 comments

Victoria Shkane
01:59 Apr 18, 2023

I don't have the talent to comment in rhyme But I guess I could do it , if I just take my time. This story is clever and witty and funny I agree that if published it'd make lots of money. Love your work, Nona!

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Nona Yobis
02:25 Apr 29, 2023

It'd be great if I could rake in some cash, To add to my writing contest fees stash. Your rhymes aren't too bad, you could give it a try, and write your own story, maybe about a fly!

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Tim Frater
05:19 Apr 17, 2023

Sweet! [oops, wrong adjective]. Well done, Nona. Should be in a book. I have a bit of a problem with comfort food myself. It doesn't help when I reason that if it's comfort food then, logically, it must be good for me... At least I can say that, at 72, I still have my own teeth...well, most of them.

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Nona Yobis
02:23 Apr 29, 2023

Thanks so much! Don't worry, I think there's a number of folk out there that love indulging in their favorite comfort foods...that's why the story has the potential to resonate lol!!!

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Amanda Aanestad
22:45 Apr 15, 2023

This was precious. I want to read this to my kids!

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Nona Yobis
03:32 Apr 16, 2023

Thank you! :)

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19:53 Apr 12, 2023

I deeply appreciate rhyming the word "boxers" with "doctors" :D

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Nona Yobis
04:42 Apr 13, 2023

Hey, whatever get it done, right lol? Sometimes rhyming involves stretching the definition of, "rhyme" :), at least when I'm the one rhyming lol!

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Jocelyn Nelson
18:18 Apr 20, 2023

So my two criticisms are that there are a few lines that broke up your flow like "Ears of candy corn, that is." and a few words that were over used such as "around". That being said, this should be in every dentists' office waiting room. I mean that in the best way possible! It's quirky, funny, catchy, and so inventive. That first line was Perfect for this story. Simple and odd enough to have the reader pick up and read the whole thing not just skim. Congrats on a fun piece :)

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Philippa Hibberd
11:50 Apr 18, 2023

Ha! Teeth quitting their jobs, I love it! Good message for kids (especially with the bit about candy being fine as an occasional treat - food guilt, after all, is unhealthy in itself - just not in excess), and the rhyming reminded me of Dr Seuss. Great job!

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Wally Schmidt
16:27 Apr 15, 2023

I only have this to say Your story brightened my day Your toothy tale I must certainly hail For your story is sweet and it can't be beat I'll look for your win next Friday But for today, you made my day

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Nona Yobis
19:35 Apr 15, 2023

Thanks, Wally, that's really nice! Although your story this week will do more than suffice, To give me a run for my money to reach the win, The space between everyone's talent is thin! (That's supposed to mean that your story was good, too, and everyone is really talented on here lol).

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Delbert Griffith
14:12 Apr 15, 2023

Holy s**t, this was amazing. Why did even bother posting a tale? Dr. Seuss has nothing on you, Nona. Get an illustrator and make this into a book, seriously. It's that good. I'd buy it for my grandson. Cheers, my friend. Nicely done. Nicely done indeed.

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Nona Yobis
19:22 Apr 15, 2023

Thanks so much, Delbert! That means a lot coming from you, as I really admire your writing.

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Mary Bendickson
18:08 Apr 12, 2023

So creative! And I know a house just like this. Need to wait for 'another story'.

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Nona Yobis
04:41 Apr 13, 2023

It's funny, because up until I read your comment, I had never actually considered the next story, but I bet I could come up with a great "seniors version" involving dentures! :)

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Rebecca Miles
10:47 Apr 12, 2023

This was a fun story with a good strong message. It reminded me a lot of Spike Milligan's wonderful poem " Teeth". This would work well with illustrations.

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Nona Yobis
04:39 Apr 13, 2023

I will have to look up that poem! This story was born from a request by my son when he was much younger. I used to make up bedtime stories for him, and one night I asked him to give me a main character. He said teeth. Rather than correct him and tell him that teeth cannot be characters, I went with it. It originally did not rhyme and was much shorter!

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Jocelyn Nelson
18:20 Apr 20, 2023

<3 love this

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Viga Boland
23:25 Apr 09, 2023

Noni! Noni! Is there no limit to your writing skill? Your way with words just makes me ill Today a poet, tomorrow what? The rest of us deserve a shot! So would you kindly please refrain From making me feel insecure again? Just kidding of course but this was, as all your writing always is, brilliant. 👏👏

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Nona Yobis
04:37 Apr 13, 2023

Viga, you are talented, too, Just look at the upvotes received by you! I learned to rhyme from Dr. Seuss, So in his spirit, let's call a truce. If you win or shortlist, I'll say "Hooray!" And if I place, tell me it made your day! This took me so long to respond because I wanted to come up with a clever rhyming response, but my brain said, NOPE. So this is all I've got lol. And thank you for the praise!!! :)

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Viga Boland
13:39 Apr 13, 2023

That’s hilarious! I took an age trying to respond in rhyme too, though rhymes usually come to me very easily. I guess because I was trying to be clever writing a rhyme on writing…note the alliterative sounds 😂…it was harder than I thought. Love the first 2 lines of your rhyming response BTW.

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