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Speculative Funny Friendship

Audrey passed the clippers over the last patch of hair. “Done!” She shut the machine off and dusted the hair off her pet’s scalp.

“Let me see,” Carrie said and walked into the bathroom. She stared into the mirror and screamed.

“What?!” Audrey ran in.

”Oh, Audrey… I… I… I… love it!"

“Great! I’m glad, but it’s not a good idea to scream while you're in the White House.”

“Oh, sorry.”

Carrie looked down at Audrey’s womanhood.  “You need a trim.”

“Nah… I’m growing it out… also, my armpits, see?” Audrey raised her arms, revealing thick black hair.

“Why?”

“I’m just trying out a new look.”

“Well, I love it… and mine too.”

“Good, I’m glad… OK, shower time! Get in!” She pointed.

Carrie got down on her hands and knees and romped into the lavender shower stall.

“Good girl!” Audrey stepped in and turned the warm water on. “How's that?”

“Perfect.”

Audrey sprayed Carrie’s body.

Carrie stuck her tongue out as her hair washed away and traveled down the drain.

Audrey grabbed the soap and scrubbed her body.

Tears ran down Carrie’s face.

“What’s wrong?” Audrey asked.

“It’s just so wonderful having someone who cares about me!” Carrie replied.

“Yeah, I’m glad I have you. You’re a great friend and you always will be.”

“I love you, Audrey!”

“I love you too, Carrie!”

They hugged as the water poured down on them. Carrie wiped away her tears.

“Now, let's finish.” Audrey let go.

“Can I sit?”

“Yes, girl.”

Carrie knelt down on the tiled floor and stuck her tongue out.

“Who’s a good girl?” Audrey cooed.

Carrie yipped as Audrey rubbed conditioner on her scalp.

“Arms up.”

Carrie raised her arms.

“Good dog!”

Oh my God! She called me a DOG! She licked Audrey's face.

 “Hey! What’s that for?”

”For being my owner and my friend!”

“Aw, thank you, girl!” She scratched her bald head.

Carrie panted.

“Let's finish showering you.” Audry grabbed the soap. “Arms up.”

Carrie raised them.

“Good girl!” She scrubbed her bare armpits. …And, then her stomach, and so on…

“…And that’s about it,” Audrey said, sprayed Carrie down one more time, and shut the water off. She grabbed the towel off the rack and wrapped it around her friend.

“Feel better, girl?”

Carrie barked and licked Audrey’s nose.

“I’ll take that as a yes! You’re really committed to being a dog!”

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s OK. It just caught me by surprise, is all.” She petted Carrie’s bottom. “Now, let’s go buy you a collar, a leash, and maybe a toy!”

“Wait, a minute, don't you think it would be too weird?”

“I go nude in public all the time and people have adjusted well.”

“I don’t know…”

“It will be OK, Carrie. Trust me! At any point you feel uncomfortable, we’ll leave, OK?”

“OK.”

"Besides, you took your clothes off in, uh... prison and went out to the limo with me."

"Yeah, I did! OK, I'll stay nude!" Carrie smiled.

“Atta girl.”


Once Audrey made the appropriate arrangements, the Secret Service drove Carrie and her to PetSmart.

Cold air rushed on their naked bodies as barking and yipping echoed.

Carrie felt a slight urge to pant, but decided against it.

“Oh my God! Look! It's Audrey Turner!”

“She’s here!”

“Who’s the other girl?”

“Hello, everybody, how’s everyone doing today?”

“We’re good," a wavy brown-haired gentleman said, carrying a mop. He scratched his long, bushy beard.

“Great, allow me to introduce—“

What the Hell? Carrie shrugged and said, “Hi, everyone, I’m Carrie, Audrey’s BFF!”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Carrie. What have you two young women come for, today? Let me guess, a puppy?”

“No, actually, I need a… uh, leash and a collar," Carrie said, nervously rubbing her neck.

"Um, OK, well, the collars and leashes are over there. By the wall.” He pointed to the left.

“Thanks."

“What kind of dog do you have?”

“Um, well, it’s a long story.”

“Oh?”

You might as well tell them. You will be a dog in public anyway. “Well, I just came out as…” Carrie nibbled her lip.

“As what?” he asked.  Then, it dawned on him. “Oh!”

“Yeah..."

“Hey, if that’s what you feel you are, then good for you!"

“Thank you." She smiled. Maybe this will work out for me.

“Society is changing anyway with a teen Leader of the World."

"Why, thank you," Audrey said. She kind of felt like bowing but decided against it.

“Anytime. The rest of us haven't started walking around in our skins, but you never know!" He chuckled. "Tell me if you two need any help.”

“We will, thanks!” Audrey grabbed Carrie's hand and led her over to the collars.

“Sorry I interrupted you back there,” Carrie said.

“It's fine. You were excited,” Audrey replied. "Can I pet you here? In the store?"

"Of course!"

Audrey pet her tummy.

Carrie let a small yip out and looked. “Ooh, I like that deep purple one!” She pointed.

“There are dozens of purple ones!” Audrey exclaimed.

"The third deep purple one on the right."

“This one?" Audry snatched it off the display case.

“Yes.”

“OK, we'll get it. Now, for the tag."

Carrie followed her to the dog tags and looked. “I love that red one shaped like a bone!”

“I like that one too.“ Audry grabbed it. “Let's go print your name.” 

They walked up to the TagWorks machine and Audry clipped Carrie's tag onto the holder, entered her name, and tapped ENGRAVE. With a whirring sound,  the holder carried the tag in.

Carrie placed her hands on the window and watched it print her name in the center. Cool! My very own dog tag!  It finished and the holder came out with her newly engraved tag and she grabbed it.

“Come, girl!” Audry said and Carrie followed her up to the brown-bearded cashier and laid the collar and the tag down.

“It's on the house.”

Audrey felt weird. Was he offering them for free because she was the Leader of the World? But, she instead said, “Thank you.”                    

“My pleasure, Madam. Would you like me to bag them up?”

“Yes, please.”

He put the collar and the leash in, and handed her the bag.

“Thank you."

“No problem, you have a nice day.”

 “Wait!” Carrie said.

“Huh?”

“I want a toy.”

“Alright,” Audrey said. “Come, girl.”

Carrie followed her as customers watched.  Some twisted their faces in disbelief.

“Ay, yai, yai, what's this world coming to?” muttered a black-haired woman.

“This is weird!”

“I’ve adjusted well to having a  nude girl run the planet, but this?”

They walked to the dog toy aisle. Carrie looked at the dozens of colorful toys. A black monkey, a purple elephant, a pink duck...  She stuck her tongue out and panted. “Um, Audrey?’”

“What?”

“Can I, um..."

“What?”

“Walk on all fours?”

“Carrie, do what you feel."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I got your back."

“Thanks.” She got down on her hands and knees, then, she spotted it. She sniffed the toy, then whimpered.

“What, girl? Do you want the stuffed penguin?”

She barked and wagged her bottom.

“OK.” Audrey grabbed it. “We good to go, now?”

She nodded and panted.

Audrey walked back to the cashier.

“On the House.”

”Thank you.” Audrey smiled and looked down at her best friend. “Come on, girl!”

Carrie followed her out. “That was so fun!” She jumped up and down.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

”Are you sure you’re OK with this?“

“Fuck yeah! I love being your owner! One condition though.”

“What's that?”

“I will keep you shaved."

“Why?”

“It’s easy to take care of.”

“I can’t grow any hair?”

“No.”

“Good! I prefer having my body hairless. It’s the new me!”

“Right on!” Audrey said and patted her head.

“OK, put it on me.”

“Now?”

“Uh-huh.”

Audrey pulled the collar out and hooked it around her friend’s neck.

“Nice.”

Audrey grabbed the leash out and hooked it up.

Carrie squealed. The feeling of being leashed charged her up. She felt so right in the universe.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“Can you take a picture?”

“Now?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know....”

“Please?”

Audrey opened the back door of the limo, grabbed her phone, and held it up.

“Make sure you get my whole body.” Carrie backed up.

“OK, you’re good. Now, smile!”

Carrie panted and stuck her hands out like paws.

Audrey snapped a couple pictures and looked then ran back to Carrie and showed her.

“Oh my God!” Carrie hugged Audrey. “Thank you! Thank you!”

* * *

“Sit!”

Carrie sat.

“Stay.”

“Good girl!”

They were in Audrey’s room in the White House.

Audrey held a press briefing, called Australia, and signed some bills, so it had been a productive day.

Audrey walked to Carrie and rubbed her bare stomach.

“OOH! I like that!” Carrie said and made a soft whimper.

Audrey continued rubbing as Carrie laid down. “Who‘s a good girl? Who’s a good girl?”

Carrie barked and panted.

“You’re a very good girl.” Audrey petted her scalp. “Hey, about your brother... Are you sure Jake won’t send a search party or the police to find you?”

“Oh, yeah, that asshole doesn’t give a fuck about me.”

“I know, but what if he tries?”

“Audrey, don’t worry. It will be fine. I’ll just tell them I’m safe here and happy living with you."

“As my pet?”

“Er, we will cross that road if it happens, OK?”

“I don’t know about this.”

“It will be OK.”

Audrey bit her lip, “If you say so...”

“Good, now, can you scratch down behind my ear?”

 “OK.”

* * *


SQUEAK! Carrie chewed her toy sprawled out on the hard floor in Audery's bedroom. The feeling felt so… satisfying! Man, I love being a dog!

A black cloud materialized, followed by a flash of lightning striking the floor and Zexado emerged. “How do you like that entrance?.. What the..?” He looked at Carrie. “Uh, what are you doing here?”

“Audrey and I made up. I’m her pet now.”

“I didn’t know humans made pets. Hmm, interesting... Why are you bald?”

“Audrey shaved my head and my body.” She stood up and raised her arms.

“And you like having no hair?”

“Yes.”

"Alright."

Carrie continued chewing.

“I know you don’t trust me,” Zexado said.

Carrie sighed. “Can you tell me one thing?”

“Yes,” Zexado said.

“What are you planning?”

“Nothing, I am Audrey’s assistant.”

“Yeah, right!”

“That’s fine if you don’t believe me.”

She sighed. "Alright, I’ll give you one chance.”

“Thank you… now, tell me if you would… about yourself.”

“You wanna know about me? My parents died in a car accident and my twenty-seven-year-old brother doesn’t give two shits about me.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s OK. I have Audrey. I've always had Audrey, ever since I was eight.”

“Is that when your parents…“

“No, it was three years after.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“What made you decide to be Audrey’s pet?”

“I don’t know. I always felt… different inside... like I wasn’t supposed to be human. I always loved dogs, but my brother wouldn’t let me have one.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I used to pretend I was Clifford, the Big Red Dog, when I was five, then, when my brother became my legal guardian, he made me stop because it was annoying and embarrassing. Fucker!”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s OK, I’m just so happy that I finally realized what I truly am.”

“I’m happy for you! Be what you want to be.”

“Damn right! Thank you for listening." Carrie smiled.

“Anytime! Hey, would you like to go for a walk?”

“Now?”

“Sure.”

“But, you're a demon!”

“Deguisilo!” He waved his hand. A blue light flashed for a second then a brown-haired man stood in his place.

"Wow! Cool! OK... A walk would be nice."

"Then, let's go! Where's your leash?"

Carrie walked on all fours to the drawer and opened it with her teeth.

"Ah! Here it is! Good girl!" He grabbed her leash and hooked it up.

Carrie yipped, wagging her rear.

Zexado waved his hand up and down and with a flash of white light, they were at the park.

“Whoah! Trippy!” Carrie said and shielded her eyes from the intense light.

“Want sunglasses?”

“No, thanks."

“OK.” Zexado pulled a pair out of his shirt pocket and placed them over his eyes.

“You look cool.”

“Thanks. Now, let’s roll!” he said and tugged her leash.

Carrie stuck her tongue out and walked with him. Oh my God! My first walk! I wish Audrey was here!

The warm sun felt good on her naked body.

 


They walked a couple blocks then entered the park.

“Look what I have!” Zexado said and a frisbee appeared in his hand.

Carrie barked and stuck her tongue out.

“Want it?”

Carrie barked.

 “Go get it!” He threw the disk.

Carrie took off like a Golden retriever as it soared high in the sky. MUST GET IT! MUST GET IT! She ran, jumped, and caught it in her mouth.

She landed on her feet; four years of gymnastics finally paid off.

“Good girl!” Zexado said as Carrie ran around with it. “Here, girl! Here, girl! Bring back the frisbee!”

Carrie romped around. Its mine! She thought. All mine. She felt free. The animal inside her was finally out. She looked up and watched crows fly high in the blue sky. She looked up as a gray, squirrel scampered up the tree. Maybe next time.

“Come on, girl!”

This is awesome! I can just romp around all day without a care in the world!

“Come on, girl!! Bring the frisbee back.”

 Alright, alright, I’m bringing it back to you, she thought and ran back to him.

“Good girl. drop it!”

She let go and panted.

“Good girl!” He petted her warm head.

She barked.

“You want a hat? Your scalp is getting warm.”

“No, dogs don’t wear clothes.”

“Alright, but let’s get under the shade, OK?”

“OK.” On all fours, Carrie. followed Zexado over to a tree.

“You’re really getting into this dog thing, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, you should compete in the Pet Olympics in the Underworld.”

“Huh?”

“Demons all over enter their pets.”

“So, it’s like the Puppy Bowl?”

“What?

“Never mind. Hmm, the Pet Olympics, huh?... When is it?”

“It is quadrennium.”

“I’ll have to see if Audrey can go. I know she’s incredibly busy.”

“Time is irrelevant in the Underworld. You can stay as long as you wish and come back, at the exact time you left.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Cool, then, I’m sure she’ll say yes.”

“Great!” Zexado petted her bare back.

“Hey!” Audrey walked towards them.

“WOOF!” Carrie got down on all fours and ran to her.

“There’s my girl!” She petted Carrie’s head. “Did you have a good time?”

"WOOF!" Carrie licked her hand.

Audrey turned to the man with Carrie. “Who are you?”

“It’s me,” Zexado replied in his low voice.

“Zexado? I didn’t know you could disguise yourself! Not surprising anyway since you are…“

A woman walked by staring at them.

“Yes, there are lots of things you don’t know about me.”

“Tell me.”

“I will, maybe for a cup of coffee. I haven’t tried it before.”

“You’ve never tried coffee?”

“Nope.”

“I’ve tried it once. I hated it!”

“Oh?”

“It was so gross! BLAAAGGGGHHHH!”

“Yeah, we don’t recommend it,” Carrie said.

“Then, what should I try?”

Carrie and Audrey exchanged glances, then both said, “CHOCOLATE!”

June 05, 2021 02:23

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15 comments

Mohamed Sarfan
20:21 Jun 16, 2021

Dear Writer, I love the unique thoughts of the writer who subtly manipulates verbal exchanges as if two men are sitting face to face and traveling through the verse dialogues within the story through iconic verses. Write more Congratulations

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Kanika G
07:06 Jun 06, 2021

This was a fun story about friendship and youth. It's wonderful to have friends like Carrie and Audrey. Very well done! I greatly enjoyed reading it.

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Charlie Murphy
02:50 Jul 25, 2021

Thanks. I submitted another chapter this week.

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Cliff McElrea
06:07 Jun 06, 2021

This is the most creative series. I never can guess where you are going with it. Keep it up!

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04:41 Jun 17, 2021

This was quite good, Charlie. I can see your language improvements with every new chapter. Write on ^-^

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Charlie Murphy
02:44 Jul 25, 2021

Thanks. i submitted another chapter this week.

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18:12 Jun 10, 2021

I liked the creative start .Totally out of the box

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Charlie Murphy
02:45 Jul 25, 2021

Thanks, I submitted another chapter this week.

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Lynn Penny
20:01 Jun 09, 2021

Quite outside the box! Now that I figured out it wasn't a stand-alone it makes more sense. Great work!

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Asha Pillay
08:57 Jun 09, 2021

I liked this story , simple and smooth flowing, just like a river

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Josephine Samuel
21:30 Jun 08, 2021

You break the rules in the craziest ways, lol. I'm only picking out the stuff I like though 😎 Great dialogues, weird friendship, (sorry, lol) and pretty unique (evilly😂 )

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Charlie Murphy
23:19 Jun 08, 2021

Thank you. So, is it good enough?

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Carlie Evans
21:01 Jun 07, 2021

I read the other comments and found out this was a series. To be honest, I wasn't sure what was going on at first, but I guess I'll have to read the other stories to get a better idea. It is definitely creative!

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Charlie Murphy
21:06 Jun 07, 2021

Thank you. My bio has the other titles.

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Pippin Took
13:16 Jun 06, 2021

Hey Charlie!! I like the story!! But there are some errors, I think a quick edit will find them! Keep writing :D

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