The Weight of Time

Each birthday is supposed to bring wisdom—another year of challenges and lessons shaping who you become. As I sit in my bedroom on my seventeenth, listening to Mom and Dad argue again, I wonder if that’s true. Do we grow, or are we just trapped in the same cycles, bound to people who drain us?

Of all days, you’d think this one wouldn’t be about them and their failing marriage. What keeps people tethered to someone they clearly disdain?

I scan my room for a distraction. Action figures I haven’t touched in years. Books ranging from Dr. Seuss to James Baldwin, but I’m in no mood for Parisian heartbreak. My eyes land on the ornate mirror Mom got me last year—its frame regal enough to belong in a fairy tale. Just a scrawny teenager stares back, baby-faced and directionless. Happy birthday.

My phone lights up. Crystal, my best friend.

You make a wish yet?

Yeah, for a getaway. Teens get those, right?

I think I can grant that. Be there in five.

Crap. Did I say too much? I almost text her to stay home, but she’s only two blocks away. I grab my sneakers, lace them up, and stand—when something catches my eye outside.

Crystal? Already? She’s standing under the streetlight, wearing what looks like... a kimono?

"The hell is she wearing," I mutter.

She doesn’t wave like usual—just beckons me forward. Weird. I slip out unnoticed; my parents’ arguing drowns out any noise I make.

Turning the corner, I see her clearer.

“Why are you being weird? How’d you get here so fast?" I ask, closing the distance. "And what are you wearing? It’s summer.”

The sycamore casts a shadow over her, obscuring her face. But as I approach, I realize—this isn’t Crystal. Her skin is fairer.

I stop in my tracks. "Who the hell are you?"

“You wished for a getaway, didn’t you?” Her voice is melodic, unnervingly soothing.

She turns and walks away instead of answering. Rude. I follow anyway.

"Your friend is en route. But you wished to leave that," she gestures toward my house, where the shouting continues. “And I happen to know of a place your heart desires.”

We turn down the cul-de-sac toward a dense patch of woods. She stops before a massive redwood tree.

I know this neighborhood. This tree wasn’t here before.

She places a hand on the trunk, and a glowing symbol appears. The base groans, splitting open with the sound of shattering bone. The ground trembles.

“Worry not. This is your gateway,” she says—though nothing about this feels assuring.

An image forms within the tree’s opening—a vast plain of turquoise grass and towering white-trunked, purple-leafed trees.

She steps through. Against all logic, curiosity wins. I follow.

The air is different—light and heavy all at once. My skin tingles. My vision blurs, adjusting to something unnatural. Then, movement.

A giant floating goldfish races toward us.

“Hiya! Been a while!” It yells at the woman.

“Nice to see you too, my aquatic friend,” she replies.

The fish grins. “Jinn misses you.”

She hums noncommittally. “I’ve brought a guest.”

The goldfish turns to me, eyes bright. “Happy birthday, Kaliek Anderson!”

I blink. “How do you—”

“Oh, we know lots of things here. Name’s Goldie. I’ll be your guide—don’t want you getting lost.”

It air-swims away before I can react.

“Where the hell am I?” I mutter, still trying to process floating fish and gem-colored grass.

“Viva,” Goldie calls back. “Your getaway.”

The woman turns to leave, finally answering my earlier question.

"I’ve been called many things: Crane. Maiden. Wife. You may call me Tsu."

She steps through the portal. Gone.

Goldie spins midair. “So much to see! Let’s go, Kaliek!”

The tree we entered through is no longer the redwood—it’s purple now, its leaves white. I stare for a beat, then follow Goldie down a winding white road stretching into the horizon.

Goldie and I follow a winding pathed white road stretching for miles. Am I crazy to not have left with Tsu? Suddenly, I feel Goldie’s right eye looking at me as if it were psychic reading my thoughts.

“I know you must have a billion questions. Let’s see if I can answer a few off the bat. Viva is a world that opens to those who strongly wish for a life they feel they can’t obtain in their original plain of existence. Here, you can obtain the life you desire and be who you want to be”

“So, anyone can come here?” I ask, curious.

“Mmm. Not everyone. Mostly children with hard home lives and people who feel they’re at their wit's end,”

I'm still a bit confused, but I assume wanting a way from my parents arguing must have allowed Tsu to find me and bring me here.

“And yes, I am a giant talking floating goldfish. Most of us beings who grant wishes live here. Tsu is charged for the next century to bring souls like you here.”

“Wait so you grant wishes?”

“I do but your wish has already been granted by Tsu, so no more for you right now, buddy! Come on we’re almost there!

“Where?!”

“Goldie! You brought an Outworlder with you!” A cheerful girl around my age approaches excitedly.

“Yes, this is Kaliek and it’s his birthday!”

“You don’t say,” she exclaimed, before pivoting and running into a nearby building, which I assume was her home. She quickly returned with a plate of my favorite dessert: red velvet cupcakes. “Here you are! Happy birthday, Kaliek!”

“You just had these ready.” I ask debating taking one. What if the food is different here?

“Oh, no silly. I just made these for you! Have one if you’d like!”

I reached for one, surprised that they were still warm. How could she have made these so quickly? I took one and hesitated for a second. Screw it—when in Rome, right? Or Viva, in this case. I took a bite and realized I was in another world. These were better than my mom’s, and she is the best cook I know.

“This is freakin’ delicious!! There’s a phrase from home: ‘This makes you wanna slap your momma.’” I took another healthy bite.

“Oh my, our world sounds a little violent. We don’t slap moms in Viva,” she said cheerfully. Is everyone overly happy here?

“Oh no, we don’t actually slap them. Wait, you’re not from my world? Earth?”

“Oh, I know Earth! No, silly! I’m from Viva!”

I was astonished. She looked like me—an Earthling. She was only a little lighter than my brown complexion. Her hair reminded me of Crystal’s: full, natural, and curly. She was quite pretty, but of course, not my type.

“People are born here?”

“Yes,” Goldie chimed in, “Viva has it’s own natives.”

“Oh look, Goldie brought someone new,” a deep-voiced guy, no more than a couple of years older than me came around the corner of the girl's home.

“Yes, this is Kaliek!”

“Hi, Kaliek. I’m Varyn,” he said, extending a hand to shake. Oh, there are Earth costumes here. I reached to shake his hand and felt an electric charge between us—a connection I’d never felt with anyone before. Varyn was a few inches taller than me, his skin a couple of shades darker, with bright brown eyes. The eyes of the guys back home didn’t shine like his. I never believed in love at first sight, but looking at Varyn, I certainly did now. More surprising was that he was staring back as well. I released his hand and my gaze, feeling slightly vulnerable in front of Goldie and... Wait, what was her name?

“I’m sorry you were nice and I didn’t get your name,” I say hurriedly, hoping neither noticed the chemeistry between Varyn and I.

“Oh no, I should have introduced myself! I’m Luce. We’re going to be fast friends; I can feel it.”

“Oh, look at the time! Happy birthday, Kaliek!” Goldie exclaims as if it hadn’t told me this before.

“Oh, it’s your birthday? Happy birthday, Kaliek!” Hearing Varyn say my name in his baritone made me fall a little more for him. It feels like I’ve known him longer than this five-minute conversation.

“Have a cupcake if you’d like,” Luce put the plate back in my face and the cupcakes were still warm. Did she replace the cupcake I thought I took while I was gazing into Varyn's eyes.

“Let’s get you something more than sweets,” Goldie said as she walked farther into the town, and the three of us followed. The city was a mixture of rustic and fantastical, with cottages that looked like something out of a novel featuring elves and dwarves. Varyn and Luce wore similar outfits: formal shirts and vests with slacks and intricate boots for Varyn, and a fancy milkmaid outfit for Luce. Both were more colorful than the outfits from my Earth.

“What’s your favorite thing to eat on Earth,” Varyn broke the silent I hadn’t noticed.

“Oh, umm... Probably this dish we call ramen. It’s like noodles and soup that you can make spicy or sweet with veggies. It’d chef’s kiss!”

“Slapping moms and kissing your chefs. At least the second one sounds nice,” Luce muses, and I giggle.

“Well, not sure what that is but The Tabe knows all food,” Varyn replied.

“What is The Tabe?” But my answer came when we followed Goldie into a building that resembled a tavern from a fantasy game. There were patrons all around, laughing and drinking merrily, with people eating food that smelled delicious. I was starving, even after my birthday dinner, which was two hours ago, right?

Everyone wore clothing similar to my two new companions—colorful and old-timey yet also not quite. Everything here seemed to contradict itself. We followed Goldie to an open, picnic-style table. Something in here must be irritating my skin because my face is itching. Sometimes pollen does that to me.

Here, Kaliek! Sit next to me," Varyn beckons me over to him and I happily comply.

“Oh, Forgive me Kaliek! I’m so, so sorry! I missed it last time. I was too busy allowing the connections happen. Happy Birthday!” Goldie expressed dramatically, leaving me confused.

“You already told me that, like twice,” I say, puzzled.

“Did for birthday 18 and 19, but missed 20. I didn’t miss your 21, though!”

I’m already talking to a Goldfish, so maybe my mind is done trying to comprehend the confusing things of this world. I gave puzzled look.

“Oh, I didn’t explain. Time moved differently here. You’ve been friends with us for 4 years!”

I glance at Varyn and Luce—panic setting in. Varyn now has a goatee, and wow… If he wasn’t already attractive before. Luce looks more mature, her frame subtly shifting. My face itches. I rush to a mirror—my own reflection stares back, broader, older, unfamiliar. The scrawny boy is gone. Hours have passed. Or years? Confusion and excitement clash.

I walk back over to the table astound. More surprising is how calm Varyn and Luce were, just smiling and wishing me happy birthday.

“Now come here and let me buy your first drink,” Varyn said as he flagged the waitress who looked more steampunk, different from anyone else I’ve seen.

“What can I get you, loves?”

“Raw-men, for the birthday boy, pellets for Goldie, and pints all around,” Varyn ordered without hesitation

In minutes she’s back with our order sitting the ramen in front of me. I couldn’t contain myself and dug in. It far exceeded what I thought it would be.

“This is goddamn delicious,” I said with a mouthful.

After devouring my food, I took a drink with my new friends—who already felt like family. One mug in, and the world blurred. I was on the table, singing songs I didn’t know, laughing, dancing, holding onto the moment. Maybe for the first time, I was truly happy

I’m almost sure my three companions told me happy birthday 5 more times. I asked Varyn about the bathroom and he decided to show me. Was he taller than before? Was I? As we turned the corner to the bathroom, Varyn pushes me against a wall and kisses me.

“I’ve been waiting to do that for years,” Varyn says his lips a breath away from mine. I kiss him again with his now full beard brushing against my now goatee. “You’re mine, right?” He asks to my surprise. I just nod as he goes back in for another kiss.

After relieving our bladders, we make our way back to the festivities. Watching Varyn from across the room smiling and laughing, I know I’m in love.

It feels like were in the Tavern for hours, yet when we stumble out its still daylight. I’m at least 8 years older in a grown man’s body. Varyn asks me to take his and come with him. I excitedly take it and look at Luce and Goldie who smile and head in a different direction.

We zig zag through the city until we reach a beautiful park from something out of a George Suerat painting. We take a sit in the grass right next to a pond.

“I think I’m in love with you. I’ve never been in love, so this is new,” Varyn confesses looking at the pond and then at me.

“I haven’t either, but I know I am with you,” I reply looking into his stark brown eyes. We kiss and it feel different than earlier.

A noise catches my attention. I thought we were alone, but Ican see a man down the pond skipping rocks. Varyn notices my gaze and looks to see what I see.

“So, you have eyes for someone else?”

“What?” I snap out of it confused by what he was implying. I just told him I was in love with him. “What do you mean? His rock skipping caught my attention.”

“So, you feel like I’m not enough to keep your attention,” he asks as he rises from the grass.

“Wait no, that’s not it. Where are you going?!”

“I want you to want me and only me. It seems others have your attention. I really loved you, Kaliek,” he says as tears begin to well up. “I hope you find what you wish for.” Varyn walks away from me.

“Varyn! Wait, I wish for you,” I yell as I attempt to chase him, but he turns a corner and is gone.

I retrace my steps back to The Tabe where I see Luce standing outside of the double doors. She has a few barely visible grays in her hair.

“Luce! I don’t know what happened, but Varyn stormed off...” I stopped at Luce’s apathetic look. “What’s wrong?” Had she taken his side in our breakup?

“Hey Kaliek... You and Varyn ran off and I haven’t seen you two in a while. Guess you forgot about me.”

“Luce, we were gone for...” I stopped again remember time is clearly different here. “I’m sorry that wasn’t my intention. You’re like my best friend, and Varyn is the love of my life, and... This is just overwhelming.” I couldn’t even remember how many birthdays have passed. I was almost my parents age now. My parents! Crystal!

“He only talks about you. He’s hurt but I know he still holds a flame for you. I always thought it would be the four of us,” she says solemnly.

At the mention of four, I remember. I need to find Goldie. I want to go home and back to a seventeen-year-old.

“I’m sorry, Luce. I never wanted to make you feel less than. You were my first friend here, but I don’t think I belong here. Have you seen Goldie?”

“He’s at the Purple Tree,” she answers slowly concerned.

“I love you, Luce,” I say before taking off in the Purple Tree’s direction.

My body is heavier and more tired than when I first arrived. It’s felt like hours and 20 years at the same time. I'm not as nimble as my seventeen-year-old self.

“Kaliek! Happy Birthday!”

“Goldie, I think this is too much. I’m almost 40, in love with a deeply insecure man and absolutely no direction of my life,” I let out like word vomit.

“Oh, no, Kaliek. I’m sorry you seem unhappy in Viva. Great news though, you’re up for another wish, granted by yours truly!”

A pit forms in my stomach—it’s exactly what I wanted, exactly what I needed. I can wish to go home, take charge of my destiny. No more toxic cycles—no more becoming my parents. But Varyn... my first love. And Luce, like my Crystal. Time has sped up my emotions, tangled them. Can I really leave? Do I even know what I feel?

“So, Kaliek. What will it be? Back to home or...?”

Just then I hear footsteps behind me. Luce, now with visible grays strand, at the bottom of the hill of the tree with Varyn, salt and pepper in his beard. He reluctantly makes eye contact with me.

I look at the two people I’ve formed a bond with for the past 20 years and then back at the tree that can send me home. What happiness should I choose?