April Fooler

For some reason I’ve always been drawn to tricksters. When I worked for the Seem-To-Be Players Children’s Theatre I convinced the theatre manager/director to do a series of trickster tales. The company did several skits based on research I did about tricksters, drawing from Native American, Black American, Euro-American, and Hispanic American stories about tricksters. The Trickster Tales were very well-liked by the children and by their teachers. Maybe this experience led me to play my own tricks.

I bought a rubber spider, an ugly black thing, about two inches wide with legs that stuck out another two inches. I had it for a year, waiting for an opportunity, when I decided to try it out on the first of April, April Fools' Day. My wife, Rose, has a Max doll, from The Wild Things book that features the character Max, a mischievous child. 

April Fools' morning I laid Max on Rose's pillow and pulled the covers up to Max's chin. The covers concealed the rubber spider. Rose came into the bedroom and said, "How nice, you've laid Max on my pillow." Rose then lifted the covers to pull them up over the pillow and shrieked when she saw the spider. Rose picked up the spider and hurled it at me. I thought, "That worked pretty well." 

The spider went with me to work. After I got to my office, I walked over to Roger's office and told him that I had received an interesting call a few minutes before. He was the editor of Explore, a university science magazine. I was administrator of the university Institutional Review Board, or IRB, responsible for protecting the rights and welfare of research participants. Roger had asked me to let him know about any interesting research that came my way. I told Roger that a student had called and asked if he had to go through my committee, because he wanted to do a research project on people's fears of snakes and spiders. I explained to Roger that his research project would have to be approved by my committee, or by me acting for the committee, but that the student might also have to go through the Animal Protection Committee in case protection of spiders or snakes came under their responsibilities. I mentioned snakes so that planting a thought of spiders would not be so obvious. 

I chatted with Roger and bided my time. I said that the student had offered to bring a snake or spider up to my office and show me how harmless they were. I assured Roger that I had declined the offer. When Roger wasn't looking I slid the black spider under a pile of papers on his desk. I chatted a few minutes more and returned to my office. I worked along as usual. Roger's office was close enough to mine that I could occasionally hear him speaking on the telephone.   

Twenty minutes or so after I had returned to my office I heard Roger yell, "Whoa!" I continued working but soon felt a presence by my open door. When I turned to look I saw Roger standing there, holding my rubber spider by its string. Like Rose, he hurled the spider at me then stalked off.

"That worked pretty well too," I thought. I decided to try the spider out on Kevin Reed. Kevin, among his other duties at the research department, administered KU's Animal Protection Committee. I walked down to the research department and into Kevin's office. 

I said that a student had asked me for information on conducting a research project about people's fear of snakes and spiders. I asked Kevin if KU's animal protection committee had oversight for snakes and spiders. I also stated the student's desire to bring a snake or spider to show me how harmless they were. When I mentioned spiders Kevin said that he had been leery of spiders because as a child he had been bitten by a brown recluse spider. We chatted a bit more and I left Kevin's office. 

I stopped at the department's mailbox, a series of slots with our names below each slot. I thought about Kevin saying how scared he was of spiders and hesitated. "Nah," I thought, and slid the spider into Kevin's mail slot. 

It was about 10:00 a.m. when I returned to my office. I didn't return to the research department office until lunchtime. Then, Kevin told me what had happened. He had reached up to pull down his mail, because, being taller, Kevin had one of the top row of mailboxes. The spider slid from the papers onto his chest. Kevin said he just about lost his mind right there. Then, Kevin picked up the spider and walked into Kim's office and threw the spider down on her desk. "I thought we weren't going to play April Fools jokes on each other anymore!" he said. 

Kim and Kevin, I learned later, had played practical jokes on one another for years before finally deciding to call it quits. Of course, Kim, being innocent, threw herself backwards, almost out of her chair trying to get away from the spider. Kim assured Kevin that she hadn't done it, but Kevin didn't believe her. Kevin told me this when I came back to the main office for lunch.

When I got home from work I told Rose what a good time I had had with the rubber spider. Rose smiled wryly and said, "Think you're pretty smart, don't you, Mr. Hann?" I laughed and put the spider in the top drawer of my dresser. "Figure on using that again, do you?" asked Rose. "Not really," I said, but you never can tell."

Later that evening, Rose reminded me to put away some clothes I had hanging from the top door hinge. I reached up to unhook the hangers, and the black rubber spider tumbled down onto my face. I gave a yell and leaped back. I turned and there was Rose, laughing. She said, "You never can tell, can you?"