L'appel Du Vide

“Cordelia...”A ragged voice called out. 

Around me was a dark alley. Dim lights bounced off of brick walls and rain puddles. A cat rushed by me out of the alley and away from the voice. 

“Hello?” I called out. 

Glancing behind me, I don’t see any part of the street. There was nothing but darkness and black. A swirling void of black smoke, sirens, and yells. My feet splashed against the puddles as I walked down the alley. 

The smell of rotting trash and piss and gasoline filled my nostrils. Something was burning close by, plastics and paper, and maybe food burning. 

I looked up at the sky. The full moon was hidden behind dark smoke. 

Music softly came from the very end of the alley. Frank Sinatra flowed through the air and danced around me. 

“Delia...” The voice transformed into a sing-song, sweet voice. 

Sobbing weaved with the song as well. I got closer to the corner of the alley. Instead of smelling burning trash and feces, I smelled something worse. There was something rotting, something worse than trash. Flies buzzed around me, growing louder than the music around. I stopped at the corner for a moment. A glow from a fire was up on the wall, flickering delightfully.  

There was a single shadow in the middle of the wall. The shadow was lanky and unmoving, except dancing with the fire. 

I pivoted around the corner. 

A trashcan was set ablaze, the flame going about three feet into the air. A figure stood in front of the trashcan. A tall figure with long dark hair and a white suit. Despite the dirty alley and the fire in front of them, the suit of the figure looked spotless. 

Behind the trashcan was a pile of lumps on the alleyway ground. The rotting smell was overpowering. As the flame flickered, I could see hands and legs and bodies behind the trashcan and the figure. 

“Cordelia.” The figure said calmly. 

They turned around and all I could see where burning red eyes, matching the flames. 

I gasped awake, my head hitting the window I was previously resting on. Lights from the subway tunnel flashed by me. My eyes focused on my reflection; dark eye circles, messed up brunette hair, eye liner smeared around my eyes and mascara on my cheeks. 

“Cordelia.” A voice said from next to me. 

“Shit!” I jumped and looked over. 

There was Blair next to me, wearing a tight dress, jacket and holding a clutch. Her hair was curled and slightly disheveled as well. She laughed softly at my reaction. 

“Damn girl, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Blair laughed at me and patted my knee, exposed from the holes in my jeans. “How’re you doing?” 

My head pounded softly, and my throat was dry. I remembered what it was we were doing before sitting in this subway car. Blair’s friends from her work really knew how to party. I was so close to beating her boss at a drinking contest. That probably wasn’t the best idea. 

“Feel like shit.” 

Blair laughed outright, “We’re almost home. The next stop is ours.” 

I nodded and sat up on the stiff subway seat under me. I looked the subway car over. It was empty except for a man sitting in the far corner. His eyes were closed, and his head was against the window behind him. Around him were bags full of different nick knacks and clothing. 

The subway car rumbled, and the lights flickered. My eyes went to the window at the door that separate the subway cars and there was a figure in the window. It was dark and tall. The lights flickered again, and the figure was gone as the train slowed to a stop. 

Blair stood and held out a hand to help me up. Together, we walked out of the subway car onto the platform. It was deserted except for us, the lights were dim and flickered softly. 

“Okay so do we want to go get food?” Blair said to me, stopping on the platform and pulling out her phone. “I’m thinking Chinese. We have that place three blocks from here.” 

My stomach turned slightly at the thought of food. Rotting trash suddenly filled my nostrils, “Eh, I'll probably just go to sleep when we-” 

There was a ding for the doors of the subway car to closed. I looked over to the window that the sleeping guy was at. Standing in front of him was the dark figure. I could see a pristine white suit and glowing red eyes. There was a dark void, without any features. The red orbs stared at me as a hand lifted to quickly grab the top of the man’s hand and a knife ripped across the man’s neck. The subway train started to take off as thick blood sprayed across the car and the window. 

“What the fuck!?” I yelled and ran after the car, trying to catch the window again. The train disappeared into the tunnel and I turned quickly to Blair. 

She stared at me in confusion, holding her phone in her hands. “Are you okay-” 

“That guy!” I exclaimed. “He was just killed. Did you not just see that?” 

Blair’s eyes glanced at the tunnel, “No?” 

I snatched her phone from her hand and started to dial the police. 

“Are you serious?” 

“Dead serious, dude.” I said to her and lifted the phone to my ear.  

After one ring, a woman answered. “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” 

“Hi! Yes, Uhm, I just witnessed a murder on the G train.” I said, my hand shook slightly, making me hold the phone with both hands. “There was a man on the train asleep and we got off, but I turned around and there was this person in a white suit and he killed the guy.” 

“Okay, ma’am, I will send something to that next station to check the subway. Are you hurt?” 

“No. We’re okay.” I said. “I didn’t see what the man looked like, I couldn’t see his face. Just the suit. His face was really dark and maybe he was wearing a mask. I saw red eyes. I don’t know.” 

Blair stared at me, watching as I spoke to the woman on the phone. She looked at me in complete disbelief. But I knew what I saw. 

*** 

Blair and I were walking away from Dynasty, a box of to-go lo mien for each of us. Blair already had hers open and dug in with chopsticks. I kept mine in my hands, my eyes fixated on the box. 

There was no murder. No one on that car accept to the asleep man, who was startled by a posse of police busting open into that subway car. No blood. No man in a white suit.  

They questioned me. Asked me about what I saw and if I was sure. Blair told them we’d spent the night out drinking. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was my weird dream on the subway. But it felt so real. I saw it in front of me, but they didn’t see anything on the cameras either. 

I was given a stern lecture about calling with an actual emergency and not something I saw in a drug induced stupor. Drugs was the only way they could make any sense of it, even with me admitted the only drug I took was alcohol that evening. They didn’t care. They didn’t believe me. 

We came upon the stoop to our apartment building. Blair stood before them, turning to me. 

“So, are we going to talk about this?” She asked me. 

“I’ve already said everything I need to.” I shook my head. “I thought I saw it... I thought he was there.” 

Blair sighed, “You’ve been having these dreams for a while. It’s getting worse.” 

“I know what I saw.” I said firmly. 

She nodded to me, “I know-” 

“No, you don’t.” I told her, “I saw that man get his throat slit in the middle of the damn subway. Some person with glowing fucking eyes did it. I saw that plain as daylight.” 

Blair nodded slowly, “You need to see a doctor.” 

My hand threw my untouched to-go box in a trashcan. “I need to think about this.” 

With that, I started to walk down the sidewalk. Blair called after me, but I just kept walking. She gave up eventually, knowing I would be back at some point. I would be back. I just needed to walk and think.  

For months, I’ve had nightmares. They were similar to the one I had on the subway; rotting corpses in an alley, a fire, and some person standing over them. But they all stayed in my head. They never manifested themselves in front of me like that. 

After walking for five minutes, I sat myself down on a bench. It squeaked under me and felt cold to the touch, but it was just what I needed. I gripped the seat of the bench and breathed deeply. I focused on the cold metal under me. The distant sirens in the background, echoing through the city. That’s where I was: the city. I was here. I was safe. Well, as safe as a person can be in New York City. 

I closed my eyes. My heart slowed down a bit. 

I knew I wasn’t dreaming. But I started to hear Frank Sinatra play from the alley behind me.