An Unfortunate Trip Down

Feeling the hand at the back of my neck, I spun around to see who the cold, bony fingers belonged to, and when no one was there, I brushed it off in my mind as the goosebumps spread down the back of my neck and down my legs. The eyes of the students around me bore down into my chest, and even past that, as the heat rose to my face. I knew that everyone saw it, they were all waiting for me to see it, and even though I couldn’t yet, that didn’t mean that no one else did. 

“I can’t see him!” I screamed, my throat getting dryer the louder I yelled, causing everyone to stand still around me, dropping their books and the backpacks, and meaningless conversations so that they could watch me swallow my fear as if to bottle it for their consumption. 

Maybe they didn’t know that this was my secret, seeing as everyone already knew that I couldn’t see him, when everyone else could. It was my secret though; and it was just as much a secret from myself as it was for everyone else. 

The walls of the school closed in on my body, trapping my breath to the confines of my throat, and causing any movement to be torn away from my limbs. The light flashed on and off in the hallway, and I could smell the stench emanating from my body, but I knew it was my fault, it couldn't be.

As the bell rang, I could feel the vibration dig itself deep into my head, the echoing reverberating for too long afterward, as I heaved my bag onto my shoulder, casting a long look around the school, glaring at the other students as they glared back, not daring to move, their eye sockets turning into black holes in their skulls. They knew what they were doing, and they knew that I was meant for him, and as long as no one else screwed up, that is the way that it would stay. 

It was not until I came to class, with his fingers gripped around my wrist, did everyone heave a sigh, the girls pulling their hair back, and the boys pulling their headphones onto their heads, did their eyes recede, and classes began. The teachers stood in each class, their movement halted in the middle of action, as they waited for their student’s return, as if coming to their class didn’t spell out “d-o-o-m.”

I watched the teacher spell her words across the board, teaching us how to spell, but not knowing how to spell them herself, feeling the bony fingers trace their way down my leg, before I slapped it away, and it would start over again at my neck. This was okay, I knew that this was all he needed, and all he wanted to do, what more was there for him? Seeing as I was nothing, that was why he was here, right? 

The lights in the class turned off instantly as the teacher spelled out the word “dark” across the chalkboard, before turning around to the class and smiling as they all turned in their seats to look at me. Instead of returning their gaze, I turned to my right to catch a glimpse of the man whose cold was being driven into my very soul.

Instead of seeing him though, I was met with nothing but darkness, before looking back down at my desk and seeing the knife lay there, the edge blunt, but the handle sharpened, with deep, thick, blood all over, and I knew that I had seen it before, I had felt it on my skin, and wondering where it had come from, I put it back against my stomach, because I needed to remember how it had felt. 

No, not me, it hadn’t been on my stomach, but when I put it there, I could hear the wails, and feel the dark around me. I felt the hand shift to the knife, as if to grab it, but when it did, it took the knife with it and disappeared. 

Looking back at the students, their eyes drilling holes in my body, they widened, and leaned forward as if to get a better look at someone disgusting, at something they had never seen before. As they leaned in closer, and closer, some fell out of their seats, but kept pressing closer to me by crawling across the floor. 

They all snapped back into their seats, watching the teacher. She continued teaching, and I felt myself let out a sob of remorse, of regret, and I couldn’t contain it, as I nearly screamed across the classroom, the cries racking my body. The teacher continued to teach, and the students continued to learn. They knew that I was meant for this, that this is why I am here, and so, they continued to learn. 

When the next bell rang, I felt his hand grab mine to lead me out of the classroom, and I left first even though I had been sitting in the back. I smelled his clothes, his hair, his shampoo, and I remembered him. I knew that I knew him. I felt all remorse evaporate from my body as I stood in the empty hallway as students watched from their open classrooms, the teachers sitting at their desks, frozen. I gripped the hand tighter, and stared into the man's face. He looked down at me, his face ragged, his teeth - all of them - sharp. They didn’t look how I remembered, and I felt his grip tighten as he pulled me to the floor, his eyes black sockets, and his hair falling down from its ponytail to cover their edges. His black headphones squeezed onto his large head. For the first time ever, I think, he smiled at me before dragging me down through the floor. 

“I don’t know why he’s taking me!” I screamed, desperate for help. 

“I didn’t kill him!”