Landon's Cupcakes

Sometimes, it seems as though Landon despises everything and anything happiness-evoking. He wakes up at the crack of dawn every morning even though he has to be at work at ten. Landon drinks his morning coffee straight because he doesn’t believe in the concept of something so sinister, tasting anything other than outright dreadful. He showers outside, in his do-it-yourself shower made of a garden hose and an A-shaped wooden structure. He makes sure to shower while it’s still relatively dark because his neighbour Katy once caught him flaunting his manhood, while she was returning home from a night shift. You see, he created this odd shower contraption on his front porch. He dresses in the same three colours every single day. Black (which is not technically a colour, but coincidentally Landon also does not believe in the concept of laundry detergent, so he uses vinegar instead - the black actually ends up being a dark shade of grey), dark blue and dark red (anything lighter than #00008b and #8b0000, respectively, is unacceptable. His mom once bought him a pair of #00ffff blue socks for Christmas to lighten up his life a little - they really proved to be useful. He cut them up into squares and used them as starters for his fireplace). Landon also doesn’t like little children, animals, big children, soy sauce, red capsicum, teens, Rubik's cubes, kettles, digital clocks, adults and elderly people. I think it’s safe to say that Landon lives a miserably unique life.

It was a Thursday, 5:34 am. The sun was still nowhere to be seen, but Landon got up anyway, matched his #8b0000 boxers to the same shade of socks. He browsed through the selection of black (dark grey) shirts he had in his wardrobe and chose one with a V-neck and long sleeves. Leaving the other twenty identical shirts behind, he opened the drawer containing his #00008b jeans. Picked one pair out randomly and made his way to the front porch. Adjusting the garden hose, he took a deep breath as he submerged his head under the freezing cold water. Using his 4-in-1 shampoo (not only was it shampoo, conditioner and soap, but he also mixed toothpaste into it, so his morning routine would be efficient), he slathered it all over himself scrubbing from his head, through his mouth, between his legs, to his toes. A few minutes later he was in the kitchen preparing the most dreadful cup of misery the world had ever seen. 

Landon worked in a secluded part of Manchester in a rather little building just outside of “Chesirecupcakes”, which definitely did not work well in his ever-lasting trek to lose weight. Every morning, in the three minutes between getting out of his car and into his office building, the cupcake store seemed to pull him in like a living room lamp lures in a moth on a hot summer evening. 

He emerged out of the store holding two giant, crimson-red cupcakes, topped with mountains of frosting that seemed as though they would topple over any second. He carefully placed them on a paper tray and with small, purposeful steps he made his way across the pavement. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed something. It came out of nowhere, not giving him nearly enough time to register it properly. 

Two men crashed into him just as he was stepping out onto the side of the road. Landon, not paying attention to his own balance, but to the safety of the cupcakes, tripped, trying to save his treasures, but only managing to balance one, while the other spun out of his reach and fell with a splat on the road. The two men had been deep in conversation and were carrying piles of papers. Now they were groaning, holding their sides, as the papers lay scattered on the side of the road. Landon pushed himself up and made his way to his half-destroyed cupcake. He observed it, sniffed it, flicked off the remaining frosting that now sported a grey concrete decor and placed it on his paper tray with satisfaction.

“Sir, you’re standing on our papers.” The man behind him exclaimed with agitation.

“Oh, so sorry, my bad. Let me pick that up for you.” Landon bent down, never letting go of his cupcakes with one hand and with the other, collecting the pieces of paper under him.

Neither one of the three men spoke one word of apology because each believed it was the other party’s fault. As Landon wanted to speak up on behalf of his one and a half cupcakes, the two men resumed their conversation.

“As I was saying, we have to pitch it to them today. This is a tricky business we’re in. Give it a few hours and the competition will have the answer.” The taller, lanker one seemed to be determined to persuade the shorter, stubbier one to do whatever they were planning on doing.

“We don’t have the plan though. We need a detailed step-by-step procedure analysis on it, otherwise, they’re just going to tell us to…”

“No no, you gotta take a chance John, c’mon.”

Landon looked down at the papers to try to decipher what John and the other man were talking about.

The Cellular Revolution: A step up to the fifth generation

Right underneath that in large, bold letters:

5G

If those papers had been in the hands of any other person from the firm Landon worked at, they would have treated like the Holy Grail. You see, Landon worked at a telecommunications company and not just any random one at that. He worked for one of the giants: Firaphone, one of the companies leading the race to find a way to make the 5G cellular system work.

However, Landon wasn’t involved in that kind of scheming. He was customer support. Whether he realised the importance of the papers he was holding or not, it didn’t matter, for he would never even have the chance to move them onwards, up to the heads.

He gathered them up and continued to passively listen to their conversation.

“How about the millimetre waves? We can just give them the information on that. We’re not even sure whether the rest is feasible.” John was looking intently at the short man as if trying to will him to see sense.

“We figured it out, John! Instead of them towers, we use small cell sites. I know it has drawbacks, but let’s hear what they gotta say, eh?”

John looked like he was thinking hard and for a moment it seemed as he was going to retort something. 

“Gentlemen, sorry to interrupt, here are the other papers.”

Landon sidled up next to them, towering above the short one. They both looked at him transfixed before realising what had happened a few moments before.

“Oh, er, right, thank you, sir.” John held out his hand for them. They both turned in the direction they were headed in before and strode off. 

Landon turned towards his office and was just about to walk across the road when he noticed something. Stuck, flapping, below a tire of one of the vehicles parked on the side of the road was one last paper. Landon bent down and picked it up.

A Summary.

He looked down the street in the direction the men went, but they were already out of earshot, hurrying out of reach. He contemplated running after them but decided not to. He would probably tip his cupcakes over again. They didn’t need the summary anyway, they had all the important information.

Landon entered his office building five minutes later than usual. It was a completely ordinary office with several rooms lined with desks and a few conference rooms scattered here and there. He sat down at his desk and put the tray of cupcakes, the paper and his jacket on the table. He folded the paper neatly and placed it into his jean pocket - he would return it to the gentlemen if he ever saw them again. As he reached for his one and a half cupcakes, Felicity, a woman in her late forties bounced up to him with a suspicious smile.

“You have to come with me! Something amazing has happened.” She looked ferociously at him.

Landon was so close to grasping his cupcake, but guessing the look on Felicity’s face, cupcakes had to wait. He followed her down the hall, past two conference rooms and stopped in front of the main and largest one located at the very back of the building. Eight men were sitting at the end of the long table, discussing something in hushed voices.

“Firaphone CEOs and managers,” Felicity whispered excitedly in his ear, correctly assuming the reason for the puzzled look on his face.

They were all young with bald heads and perfectly fitted suits. Exactly what Landon imagined them to look like. People in his branch nicknamed them “the Deities”, not necessarily because of their position, but because most of them were Greek. 

Landon had so many questions. Why were they at this small office? What were they discussing? And most importantly, why should he give a damn about these men?

Felicity suddenly thrust a tray of drinks into his hands.

“Go on, introduce yourself, you might make an impression.” Felicity smiled. 

Landon was confused. Is that how she thought it worked? You bring something to the Deities and they promote you to branch manager? Not a chance, but before he could say any of this, the door had opened and he was already inside. He looked back at Felicity, furious. She winked and motioned for him to walk forward. None of the men turned around when they heard him approaching.

“There isn’t a way we can counter that obstacle?” A tall, burly man with a sour look on his face asked the others.

“Not unless we want to base it on the same principle as the current one.” 

“Isn’t the whole point to change up the current principle?”

Landon started placing drinks down on the table next to the men. It seemed as though they didn’t even register him being there.

“Well, how do you propose we change the frequency we use for our current fourth-generation system?” A lanky, chiselled man with a deep, carrying voice looked up from his notepad. It looked as though he had been writing notes, but as Landon placed a drink next to him, he noticed several doodles lining the few words he had jotted down. He grinned.

“We need a higher frequency for sure, that’s the only way we can make this 5G work.”

Landon walked over to a side table, realising what they were talking about. He reached into his jean pocket and pulled out the paper he had folded. Unfolding it, he read a sentence about millimetre waves.

“But how?” The tall, sour-looking man spoke up again.

“How about millimetre waves?” Quiet. Landon turned around, instantly regretting impulsively opening his mouth. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” His voice trailed off as all the eyes in the room were on him.

Landon didn’t know why he was so intimidated by these men, or why he had spoken up in the first place. He was standing at the end of the long table about to walk out of the room when one of the men spoke up.

“Millimetre waves…what do you know about millimetre waves Mr….”

“Landon, sir.”

“Landon, I assume you work here. Customer support?” Landon nodded.

“What would customer support know about millimetre waves?” Another man asked this, sceptically looking Landon up and down.

“Well…” Landon started, racking his brain for any information he could remember from the paper he was holding in his hand now. “Operating on a different part of the spectrum…” He stole a glance at the paper in his hand. “Little interference, at a higher frequency, could result in faster download speeds and better…er…stable connections for wireless devices.”

The men looked at each other thinking. Landon’s heart was beating fast. It was one thing to present something to some very important people, but to not even know what he was talking about, a whole other.

“Mr Landon, do you realise waves at these very short frequencies that you are suggesting have an incredibly short range compared to what we currently use.”

Landon’s heart skipped a beat. They were onto him. They knew he didn’t know. He thought of chancing a glance at the paper he was holding, but then the conversation of the men he had met just an hour ago, came back to him.

“We use more cell sites…instead of cell towers.” The moment he blurted it out, he knew he struck gold. The men’s eyes glimmered with hope. This gave Landon the confidence to proceed.

“Here, I conducted a short summary on this if you’re interested.” He handed them the paper. Their heads grouped around it and silence ensued for a whole minute. Landon looked sideways at the glass door towards Felicity. Her mouth was comically open as she stared at the men and back at Landon. He gave her the thumbs up.

“Well, Mr Landon, this is truly revolutionary. I wonder, do you have more of this…research?” Landon swallowed the uneasy feeling in his throat.

“No, uh, this is the only…research I did.” He smiled.

“Well, would you be able to compose a proposal for tomorrow?” As Landon was about to generate some quick excuse another man jumped in.

“No, Frank, we need to get this through quickly, we’ll have the team work on it. Mr Landon should however prepare for the announcement.” He smiled at Langdon genially as if he had just told him he won the lottery.

“The announcement?” Landon asked as the men turned to him. All of them were smiling now. The tall, sour-looking man spoke.

“As you were the one who came up with these ideas, you should be the one to announce them to the public once we got them completely figured out.”

Landon swallowed hard. He was a terrible public speaker. He didn’t mind talking to a few people a day in customer support, but talking to millions of people at once? He didn’t think he had the guts for that.

“Yes, and he’s not unpleasant to look at either, he’d make for a good speaker.”

“It’s settled then. Please leave your personal information with one of our assistants and we’ll get back to you.”

They started gathering their things as if to say the conversation was over.

“Sorry, I think I misunderstood you. You want me to talk…about this…in front of people?”

Three of them chuckled. 

“Would you want to talk in front of chickens instead? We can arrange that too.” A chorus of laughter ensued, leaving Landon speechless.

“Don’t look so worried laddy, this is revolutionary! You should be proud! Millions of people will tune in to hear you talk.”

Landon perked up at the sound of that.

“Tune in? So, I won’t have to talk in front of a crowd? I would talk in front of a camera?”

More chuckles followed, Landon was starting to feel agitated at all the fun they were having at his expense.

“Did you think you were going to deliver a performance like Martin Luther King Jr. No, laddy, it’s national television you’ll be talking to.”

One by one they filed out of the room, leaving Landon to stand transfixed, staring at the blank wall in front of him. Someone entered the room.

“What…just…happened?” Felicity’s voice rang across the now empty space.

Landon didn’t say anything. He just kept staring, unblinking. 

“I wonder what would have happened if I had brought the drinks in myself.” Felicity mused, staring at the place Landon was looking at. He didn’t say a word but smiled to himself remembering the real reason why he knew the information in the first place.

“Probably nothing.” He looked at her offended expression and walked out of the room. Landon didn’t mean for it to come out rudely, but he couldn’t possibly tell anyone how he had come across this information. 

He turned the corner and walked into his office. Sitting down in his cubicle, he placed the black jacket on the back of his chair. The crimson-red cupcakes stared expectantly up at him. He picked up the untouched one, still wrapped in its paper lining. Turning it around, he looked at its perfect frosting. He knew that getting cupcakes every morning wasn’t a mistake after all. If having a few extra pounds on him meant that he’d be famous for this revolutionary step in cellular technology, he wasn’t going to be too mad about it.