Let Me Out of Here!

Billy! Billy Lockwood! What? Well sure, no bother, come on over! Sit yonder on the old swing and I’ll get us some lemonade. We got the sun beatin’ down on us now, so no lawn mowin’ right now.

What?

No well I can’t hear you from here, let me go in and get the lemonade, I’ll…what?...Oh just be patient, I’ll be out in no time with that lemonade, now I hope he waits out there. It won’t take me long to make it, and he better not run along in the meanwhile, after I take all the effort to... Well…hmm, I was sure I had another can left to make up. Guess not, well, guess I better go back out and tell him.....

I’m sorry Billy…I thought I had more lemonade but I must’ve used up the last can the last time you dropped by, but like I said, it is too hot to mow right now, with the sun beatin’ down on us and…

What? You don’t want to mow? Well how can I pay you for mowin’ if you don’t mow, I’d like to know? I suppose you just want me to give you 5 dollars for doing nothing, well…

okay, if you need the money, I trust you, if I give it to you, you’ll come back to mow, I know it’s okay. Like I always said to my oldest son, remember Dan? Didn’t you work for Dan one year at the lumber mill? …So you did, yes, I remember that. They say because I’m old that I might be losing my mind, but don’t worry about that, I remember everything clear as a bell…

Now, when are you mowing?...

Oh yeah, you just need five dollars and you’ll come back and mow another day… Well…Like I told my son Dan about you, I said, “Billy is a good boy, I have known his family for a long time now, and he will be a good worker, and he needs to save up money for college…” and you know, Dan never went to college? He made a lot of money but never went to college. My other son, Bob went to college, but he didn’t make much money. He is an actor. He lives in New York now and acts in Off Broadway, they call it. Some of it…

What? You don’t want to mow and you don’t want money? Land sakes, Billy Lockwood, you are confusing the heck out of me. You come over here to mow the lawn, and it’s too hot, then you ask for money, and I give you five dollars…What? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I didn’t give you five dollars, I remember it clear as day, you said,

“I need money today, and I’ll mow on another day…"

You NEVER said it? I never gave you the money? Wait a minute…

You’re right, Billy, you’re right! If I had given you the money, then where is my purse? Silly old me, my purse isn’t even out here, how could I have given you the money? Well, I’ll get up and go inside and get my purse…what? You come for what? Book? Well what is it to me if you want to buy a book? The five dollars is yours, buy what you want with it, I’ll go get the purse…what?

 BILLY I’m HALF WAY to the house, I can’t hear you, look you’re getting’ so red in the face, you look like you’re about to get sunstroke, and it’s way too hot to get excited! Just sit down and relax! Goodness, it’s only what, quarter to three and he acts like his whole day’s being wasted.

Now let’s see, where did I put that purse that I keep the money in? It’s one of these three…It must be this one! Or maybe it is this brown one...Well I’ll take that other one and…No, on the other hand, I think I keep small amounts of money in the jar. I’ll just grab 5 bucks out of that jar, there must be plenty there still. 

Well, I’ll just empty it onto the table. No, I’ll take it outside and count it out to him out there. Whoa that jar is lighter than I would think it would be. Well, let’s go on back to the kid...

Hey Billy, here I got your five dollars for you! Come over to the picnic table and… 

What? Book, book, yes, you can get a book, that’s just fine, Billy, you can get whatever you want, it's your money, now let me empty out the contents and…

Oh for Pete’s sake Billy, there ain’t nothing in here beyond about a buck and a quarter in change! I could swear I had more in it, wait I…I seem to recollect that I had another jar in the…What? It’s 5 minutes to 3. Don’t you have a watch, I…You NEED a book? Well so you told me, and if you just wait five more minutes I’ll get the right jar and find that five dollar bill and then you can go get your book. What?

You HAD a book? Now you’re really confusing me. You own a book? No you DON’T own it, will BILLY YOU DON’T NEED to shout, of course not, you don’t own it, you’re gonna’ buy it and…You’re NOT Buying a book? So why the heck do you need 5 Dollars? You DON’T need five dollars, you just need the book? It’s NOT your book, it…OH! You want to return a book to the library by closing or it’s overdue and that is a dollar! But the library closes in three minutes, you better run home for your…You left it here, t’other day?  I have it? … …

…

…

Oh yes, you did leave it! By gosh, I found it sittin’ out here t’other day and took it inside, and put it on the kitchen table and…IF that was all you wanted then WHY ON EARTH didn’t you just tell me when you got here! Well, it's a few minutes to closin' time at the Library and it's two blocks from....

Billy? Billy! 

Goodness, I could almost feel the breeze, how he ran into the house and grabbed that book and swooshed on out of here! Kids like Billy always in a rush, nobody wants to pass the time of day anymore.