Is it essential?

If you were ever unsure of the difference between a “supply run” and “grocery shopping” then just assess the outing in a pandemic environment when every move you make has far reaching consequences, including but not limited to judgement ….

I can imagine Max Rockatansky only did “supply runs” …

In the "old days" grocery shopping for me was one of the perfect pass times – not The Big Monthly Stock Up – tbmst – but the “pop in” for fresh produce / forgotten essentials. I must spend the money on groceries, feed the family and therefore feel validated. My poor farming up-bringing can sometimes rear its head if I want to “waste” money. The concept of Non-essential is not new to me and with four hungry kids to feed, cloth and provide sports equipment too my parents were constantly asking the question “is it essential”. On the essential need for sporting equipment, this was a resounding yes. Growing up in a small rural farming community my parents were involved in all things sporty, from local tennis tournaments and league matches through to the socialising which came at the end of the day. My father was particularly good at both these aspects of community involvement and was a dedicated chairman and top male player of the local tennis club. Of course, as an aside, this added to his god-like statues already held by his adoring young daughter. 

Shopping centres are like doing a run through a gladiator obstacle course, or a small fishing trawler traversing the Drake Passage … with shopping now taking on military precision. No more wandering down the aisle swinging the basket in your arms, holiday music gently transporting you away to new romantic places far far away … away from your daily grind …. Away from the pressures of daily life…. just away ….

Suddenly a security guard armed with a spray bottle jumps from my periphery right into my path … blocking my way forward but keeping his distance. He will not let me through until I have sanitised my hands correctly and he hands me a trolley that he has wiped down.  He checks that my mask is securely fitted around my mouth and nose … I feel accosted and a little violated but a little safer. An African take on the automatic hands-free sanitiser applicator … well we do have 32.5% unemployment …. This is a start ….

I have always looked at a shopping list as more of a guideline …. a “What Not To Go Home Without” list…. but now it is the main reason for being in a super spreader / hotspot and completing the mission (which I choose to accept) and reaching the LZ is the aim of the morning, basic reconnaissance (from a safe distance) and pre-planning is encouraged as to the location of certain items to avoid back tracking and time wasting. Often, I feel like a CASEVAC is needed to take me home after my ordeal. You use your trolley as a social distancing tool all the while looking down and limiting eye catching because that may lead to enquiring after someone’s health and during this time that may not be a PC thing to do and is it essential to chat? And when you get to the till your mask causes your seeing glasses to fog up, which in turn leads to a few embarrassing moments till when you realise you mistook the price and wondered why it was suddenly “so cheap” ….

Standing on the escalator without holding onto the rail and keeping composure has suddenly become a small victory to celebrate. I am challenged when standing upright on a flat even surface, so imagine the horror of standing on moving stairs …. Going up … and not been able to stabilise yourself with your hand.  I am known as being “top heavy” with “calves that are out to graze” …height and movement of the escalator … makes me sweat and hyperventilate just thinking about it. Walking with my kids is the worst – DON” T TOUCH they shout – I reply - do you want me to lightly touch with my elbow or fall flat on my face and get eaten up by the stairs?

Trying on sunglasses, masked up and trying not to touch anything. Impossible to do and impossible to get a good look. You only touch what you buy, no longer can you inspect your fruit and veg as if you are in a Parisian town square food market (involving smelling and feeling). And try to open the fruit and veggie little clear bags without licking your fingers, you rub and rub and rub again, near spontaneous combustion or starting a fire on Survivor.  Also try to break the static when taking off a jersey in winter …. Or lick the very last of the tasty chip (crisps) MSG’s out of the bag …. Or eat birthday cake at a party after the candles are out ….

Going on a supply run also requires planning in terms of my wardrobe and has therefore hampered my style a bit. Add a mask (and gloves, in the beginning of the pandemic following all the fake-news reports on the Vid and how it spread)) too longs, closed shoes, long sleeved shirt, scarf, and glasses on your head with a takeaway coffee and you have a recipe for a hot flush with anxiety thrown in for good measure …. And this is all before you add the shopping lists from others that be kept separate and dropped off on your “drop-off route” on your way home …

On returning home the task starts of disinfecting all the groceries and packets. Keeping them all allocated to their spots on the counter and moving them as you do on a supply line.  Area A is pre-disinfected then move to area B and finally to their final resting places throughout the house. Once that is done don’t forget the surfaces. What a performance, isn’t it amazing that in the “olden days” we didn’t do all of this and still seem to survive till a ripe old age.

On well, time to suit up and head out, I need bread and milk … this family is not self-feeding …. oh, I wish …. Maybe I could invent an automatic self-feeder for families. But it will be hands free ….