Lustering Lights

Singing along with the melody of music in my heart is the only thing I can do during this night. It pacifies myself as it removes all the undesirable things in my surrounding. Tranquility is wrapping my body— one of the finest feelings I ever had.

           “Lynnea! Can’t you hear me? I said come here.” I groaned as my mother pulled out my big white headphone on my ears. Sluggishly looking at her, I grabbed my thing back.

           “What is it, Vanessa?” I impolitely asked.

           She just shook her head and pointed the direction of my father who is now sitting on a tiny chair that I used to love when I was a little kid with a bonfire in front of him. He’s just staring to the fire. I just rolled my eyes over her and ignored the fact that they are waiting for me.

           I also overheard my two older sisters, Lisanda and Lourein fighting with each other. Glancing at them, it looks like they are struggling regarding the power bank that is about to shut down because of its low battery.

           “Damn.” I whispered to myself when my old MP3 died.

           I stood up and walked towards the side of the yard where my older brother is grilling our favorite ihaw-ihaw from the Philippines using our newly learned way of cooking by using charcoal and a match. “Move. I’ll cook mine.” Ignoring me, Xanray put all my favorite parts on his plate, making me grabbed his hair.

           “What the hell, Lynnea?” He hissed out.

           Being not contented, I pinched his arm hard before walking out, bringing his plate with me. I even harkened my mom scolding my brother which makes him talked back to her. Lisanda joined the conversation while complaining about all her dead-battery gadgets and how disappointed she is about the power outbreak tonight.

           “Can I get a popcorn?” Lourein sat down beside me, fantasizing that she is watching a film portraying our mother and siblings. “Xanray loves talking back to mom, isn’t he?” She added.

           “Aren’t we all?” I answered and continue eating my food. She just shrugged and looked at the sky. “What happened to us?” We were all close. We were.

“Mom! Look at my grades!” Little Lynnea ran towards her mother. She kept clinging but she was too busy on her phone. On the other side, Leandro, her father was occupied by the series he’s watching on television.

She also tried talking to Xanray, her brother. However, he is excessively engaged with his new computer. Feeling crestfallen, Lynnea marked on her mind that she still has sisters who she thought will play with her.

“Can’t you see? I’m on a face time with my friends! Stop badgering me.” Irritated to Lynnea, Lisanda threw a pillow on her face. Tears falling from her eyes, she rushed to Lourein’s room, only to find out that her favorite sister won’t even give a single glance to her since she’s busy fixing her new cameras which will be used for her vloggings and tiktoks.

“Why are they all ignoring me? Did I do something nefarious?” Lourein reflexively questioned herself and just started listening to her MP3. “It’s starting to be always like this.”

           “Hey! Lynnea back to earth, hello!” I blinked when Lourein snapped her hand on my face. “Let’s go the bonfire, it’s getting really dark here.” She added.

           “Why don’t you record this and post this on your social media accounts?” I annoyingly asked her. “Oh, right. Electricity’s gone in this house. Your popularity for this night too.” I stood up and stretched my body before lazily went to the bonfire. Lourein kept quiet and followed me. I chose the farthest side from my parents.

           Playing with a thin stick, I glimpsed to each member of my family. My mom is trying to lessen the clodhopping atmosphere between all of us by making a joke but no one dared to laugh.

           “Why are we even here?” I stated. “Pretending to be a lovely family

           As if all of us wanted to be here. This is suffocating. Everyone is.

           “Can you just stop acting like a bitch, Lynnea?” Lisanda scorned at me.

            My gasped turned into a smirk because of what she had said. “Really? I’m the bitch now?” I whispered but enough for them to hear it.

           “You are always that person, Lynnea. It’s always been you who keeps crying for attention.” Xanray who don’t even know a single fact about me, agreed to Lisanda.

           I just rolled my eyes and tried to walked out from them however my mother stopped me. “What? Do you agree with these freaks?”

           She sighed and did not bother to speak. She looked down as I saw her lips quivering while stopping her tears from falling.

           “Can you all please stop this non-sense drama?” Lourein spoke out.

           “Wow.” I grinned. “Just wow, coming from the drama queen who is shamefully pretending on her social media accounts that her family is so close and happy with each other.”

           Deafening sound continues as we blame each other for everyone’s fault. No one is listening. We all just keep on accusing each one of us. No one wants to stop until Dad deliberately coughed which caught our attention and caused us to look at him.

           “You all grew up as talkers, huh?” He said not even looking at us.

           “Right. You knew nothing about that.” I answered. “You were never there.”

           My voice cracked as I remembered all the memories from my childhood as I grew up. It’s always been me all alone. Physically, they are there but I cannot even feel their presence because of all those stupid gadgets.

           “I never left my family.” He looked at me with disbelief in his eyes.

           I stopped myself from crashing him with words which I have dying to tell them. Instead, I stood up and faced them all. I called their names one by one. “So near yet so far.” I started.

           “Our life has been so caliginous just like this night.” Tears finally fell down from my eyes. “We cannot just act like everything’s fine. Have you ever thought when was the last time we had an actual conversation like a family?”

           “You guys don’t even know, right?” I laughed. “Since, that was a long time ago. You are all being tangled with those gadgets.”

           Mom walked towards me and gave me a hug. I remained speaking as it let go all my emotions. “No one was there when I needed you the most. I might be a kid that time but I grew up without someone who I can lean on because every single one of you are busy loving those fucking phones and whoever people you are talking too. It’s been like that for all these years.”

           I wiped my tears. “You know what? This single camping in this backyard during this power outbreak won’t be able to.”

          “Stay over there.” My father stopped me from walking out of the scene.

           He massaged his forehead and took a deep breath. “Do you really think that your parents are imbecile not to notice that?”

           “Oh, now you have noticed it?” Sarcasm hit my tone. “If there isn’t a power outbreak, this little talk won’t even happen.”

           And with that my father did not answer. “Are we all finish----“

           “I asked the Electric Company to turn off our electricity in our mansion.” Mom told us.

Out of shock, I did not notice that my father is already holding my hands. “It’s all our fault. Don’t blame your siblings.” He tightened his hold. “We want this family, our kids to be lustering again.”

           His other hand holds up my chin, making me look at him. “Just give us a chance, Lynnea.”