DID You Know?

Himika sat at the head of the long table in her kitchen, holding her head in her hands. She had done it again. She was a witness to a murder again. And she could do nothing about it. She will not be able to report it either, she would go to jail, probably for life. 

The throbbing in her head did not reduce. She downed two aspirins with a giant glass of water. 

“Harshini, I can’t take it anymore. Can we not go out late at night on murder sprees anymore? 

Please, I am begging you,” cried Himika into her sweater sleeve.

“Himika, don’t you see it. This is for your own good. Redemption. You will start feeling better soon. The minute you stop hating yourself for not being able to do anything that day, I will leave your life for good,” said Harshini. 

Himika blankly stared at the wall ahead of her. She could do nothing. She was no longer in control of her own body. She had to listen to somebody who was twelve years younger than her about how she must go about her own life.

Himika needed to see her therapist again. Her therapist had been extremely helpful. She knew that doctor-patient confidentiality was the most vital thing. But she had still been hesitant initially. She had no idea what was going on inside her body. She would wake up in the mornings, sweating through her nightgown though the air conditioner had been blasting cold air all night. Or she would wake up in a different room, completely dressed. She knew she was sleep walking, and probably for a long time. 

Himika had decided that she would need a therapist’s help a couple years ago. She had been right. Her therapist was one of the nicest people she had met. She would always listen to all of Himika’s problems patiently. She had finally allowed her to hypnotise her after paying her for sessions worth three months. 

Varsha, her therapist, had understood all of her symptoms and had been very sympathetic. She had told her that the only way to help herself from this situation would be to make friends. She had introduced Himika to Harshini, two people who should never have co-existed without the other’s knowledge. They were like sisters. 

Himika had been admitted to the psychiatric ward for a couple of months and had been released on her own wish as she had improved and wouldn’t pose a threat to anybody. This had obviously not been the case. Varsha had thought that Himika was a majorly improved version of herself. But this had only calmed Himika’s nerves in the mornings after her sleepwalking sessions. They did not help her understand why her system wouldn’t work under her control. It had added a lot more questions with fewer answers. 

She had been a witness to three murders and two muggings in the last two years. But never once had she reported this to her therapist or anyone else, not even under hypnosis. She was extremely loyal to the murderer-mugger, Harshini. How could she ever report this friend of hers. They would both spend the rest of their life locked up in the psychiatric ward for prisoners. She would never let that happen. She had tried to stop Harshini on multiple occasions but had never succeeded. She was way too strong for her. Plus, Harshini was so young, only twenty. She was thirty two. How could she surrender this person. 

Her therapist had tried on multiple occasions to try and coax out this information from Himika. Varsha knew that something was missing, just not what. And she was striving hard to get to the bottom of all this.

It did not help that she had to have sessions with Himika and Harshini at the same time. As much as she tried, she could not hypnotise Himika without Harshini butting in. 

Varsha was having the toughest time of her professional life but her will to get this poor woman back in control of her life remained undeterred. 

Himika had to visit her therapist at four in the evening. It was over. She did not want to protect Harshini anymore. She didn’t care if both of them would be locked up. But she wanted all this to stop. 

As a child, she had watched her step-father kill her mother in cold blood, then try to kill her as well. She had barely escaped. Her neighbours who had heard vicious sounds emanating from her house had called the cops. They had come just in time to save her. Else she wouldn’t be here today. 

She would never forget that day. She hadn’t seen her step-father since. 

She was twelve then, and had gone through immense trauma. She had tried to forget it all, and in reality, had forgotten everything. But the person who would never forget any of this was Harshini. 

Even now, if she ever saw any man abusing a woman, she killed the man before he had a chance to kill the woman. She had mugged two men and killed four men and adding to this list was the man who was unfortunate enough to cross Harshini’s path on her outing last night. 

Himika wanted all this to stop. She did not want random men to pay the price for what her evil step-father had done. But Harshini did not think so. She wanted to protect other little girls from going through what Himika had gone through herself as a child. 

Himika got up from the table and stood in the shower, letting the cold water run down her aching back. 

As soon as she stepped back, Harshini was all up in her face.

“You are not going to tell that little rat are you.”

“Do not talk of Varsha like that. She is here to help us.”

“No, she is not. She is here to try and lock us up.”

“You cut that out right now. We are going to visit her and you can do nothing about it.”

“Or can I?”

Himika did not like where this was going. She wanted to tell Varsha all about what had happened in the past two years. She did not want to keep these secrets anymore.

She dressed up and picked up her handbag. This was it. The game was over. She would get herself locked up if she had to. 

Himika and Harshini walked into the psychiatrist’s office together.

“You better not tell her anything,” hissed Harshini.

Himika just kept walking in. She sat in the waiting lounge and smiled at the receptionist. When Varsha came out of her office, she jumped to her feet.

“Hello Himika, nice to meet you,” said Varsha. “Come on in.”

Himika followed Varsha into the office. 

“You keep that mouth of yours shut,” hissed Harshini.

“So, how are you feeling. How has the past week been?” asked Varsha.

“Not exactly great. I wanted to tell you something,” said Himika.

“No you don’t,” the voice in her head wouldn’t leave her alone. “I will take control of your entire body and there will no longer exist a Himika to tell this female what I do.”

Himika held her head in her hands again. 

“Take it easy. Do you want some water?” asked Varsha.

“No, just give me a minute,” said Himika.

She knew that if she gave her alter-ego away to Varsha and owned up to all the murders, she would call the cops. There wouldn’t exist a patient-doctor confidentiality paper anymore. These things only went so far. Plus, she couldn’t give away Harshini, she will never be able to tell on someone living inside her body, ever.

She finally looked Varsha in the eye and said, “I want to admit myself and this time not leave until I am completely fine.”

Varsha looked a little surprised. “But last time you constantly asked us to discharge you.”

“I know. And I don’t anymore. Just bring the papers.”

Varsha called her secretary. 

“Are you crazy,” screamed Harshini, in her brain. 

“No, this is the only way I can stop all this late night madness. I can’t take it anymore. And until you leave me, I am not going anywhere, even if I live here until my last breath.”

“You are crazy, woman.”

“You are sure about this right, because I am assuming you want us to keep you here even if against your will. That’s what it means when you say until you are completely cured,” said Varsha.

“Yes, I know. And I am absolutely sure,” said Himika.