Heaven Can Wait A Hundred Years

The sky was colored with hues of purple, green and blue. Purple was in the middle and green and blue were on both ends similar to a half of a rainbow. There was also a deep fog, so deep that you couldn’t see your finger if you held it in front of your face. The image of people with blurred faces were also floating in the sky. You couldn’t see their faces on the outlines of their bodies. Nobody said anything. There were no sounds and no words spoken. 

“Where are we?”  Annie asked her best friend, Ida as she tried to look around and make sense of her surroundings.

“I don’t know. It almost feels like we are in space.” Ida answered looking around at the colors in the sky. 

“Girl, how would we get into space? You are nuts! We have to be somewhere. I think we are in a dream.” Annie said looking at her hands which looked a little translucent in color. 

“How can we both be in the same dream?” 

“I don’t know but we are somewhere we never have been before.” Annie answered back.

“ Wherever we are I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit. I want to go home.” Ida said pouting. 

“I think it is cool. Look at all the colors and it feels like we are floating.” 

“Annie, I tell you I don’t like this at all. How did we get here? Wherever here is?”

“I don’t know. The last thing I remember was we were in the car driving to Henry’s house and there was a car coming straight at us driving in the wrong lane.” Ida said .

“Me too. You were driving and all of a sudden the car swerved and then there were people there talking to us.” Annie continued.

“Yeah, they kept saying stuff. I think I heard a man say something but I can’t remember what he said.” Ida continued  looking at Annie.

“I know. I think one said something like hold on or something. And something about help coming.”

“But, obviously we don’t need help. We are fine.” 

“Ida, we aren’t fine. But, for some reason you think that we are and you like this place.”

“Annie, I didn’t say I was in love with the place or anything I just feel like I am at peace in this place.”

“Well, I don’t want to be here. I want to go back home to my dog, Millie and my cat, Justine and my plants, Hurricane and Willow.”  Ida screamed.

“You named your plants?” Annie asked laughing.

“Shut up. Yes, I named them. I name everything and you know that.”

“Ida, you can go home but I want to stay. I feel very peaceful like I said. I don’t feel like I have a care in the world. Look over there at the sky. Have you ever seen a sky so beautiful? “ Annie asked.

“Speaking of the sky. I feel like I am floating and I don’t like that either.”  Annie said looking at her feet which were floating in mid air. 

“Where’s Henry? Why isn’t he here? Answer me that Annie.”

“ I don’t know. Maybe he is somewhere over there.” Ida pointed to a space where it looked like a small gate was and some people were standing around waiting and talking. 

“Annie, I don’t like this. I hate this place. I can’t see my hands, my feet aren’t on the ground and these people are creeping me out. Looking at them is as if they don’t have any faces, just a bunch of blurred people. Hey, do you think we were abducted by the Aileen?” 

“I am looking for the green people. “ Annie laughed.

“It’s not funny. I am miserable and want to leave. But, how do we leave?” Ida asked.

“Wait, there is a guy coming towards us. Let’s ask him.” Annie said as the girls walked over to the man.

“Excuse me. I want to leave this place. I hate it here. And where am I?” Ida screamed at the stranger.

“What is your name?” The stranger asked. 

Ida hadn’t noticed before but the man had a roll in his hand which reminded her of a toilet paper roll which had come undone. She flashed back on how many times the cat had gotten into the bathroom and unrolled her toilet paper at home. She also wondered if she could click her heels and go home.

“My name is Ida Ritz and this is my friend Annie Crocker. We need to go home. I don’t like this place but apparently my friend over there feels at peace here.” Ida curled up her upper lip as she said it imitating Annie. 

“Hold on I will be right back.” The strange man said. He moved away from the women and  disappeared into the heavy fog.

“I hope he can get us out of here. This sucks.” Ida stated.

“And there is no place to even sit down and why is there no sidewalk and why are we floating like fools?” Ida screeched to the top of her lungs.

“Ida, I have no idea. But, this isn’t so bad. I could stay here. This place is kind of growing on me. Look over there they even have animals here. That one looks just like my dog, Max. I had Max for five years but he ran away and I never saw him again.” 

“Hmm, Annie, I think I know where we are. I would tell you to sit down but there aren’t any chairs and now I can’t see my feet.”

“Well, Ida, are you going to tell me or what? “ 

“Look over there the sign says it.”  Annie said pointing to a sign which would have been hanging on a wall if there was a wall but it was hanging on what looked like a pink cloud. 

“What the hell?” Ida said, looking confused.

“Nope, guess again?” Annie chuckled.

“Heaven? We are in heaven?”

“Yeah, I think we are Ida. I think this is heaven.”

“NO, this isn’t heaven cause in order for us to be in heaven that means that we died. I don’t feel dead do you?”  Ida asked nervously.

“No, I don’t feel dead and I thought that heaven had golden steps, golden staircases and some saint came to usher you in heaven. We got nothing. But, like I said, peace of mind for me.”

“Stop it! You might have peace of mind but I am going nuts here and I want to go home. I don’t care if this is heaven. It is not my time. I am not dead and I want to go back. I don’t like it one bit no, no, no. Where is the person in charge? I need to talk to him or her. I need to get out of here.” Ida ranted and raved to Annie.

“Guess we have to wait for that guy to come back. Hey, you know what? That must have been an angel.” Annie said to Ida.

“See, this is not heaven because where is everyone?” Ida asked.

“Everyone?? What is everyone are you talking about?” Annie asked.

“Okay, Annie, remember when people die and they come back and they say that they saw all the people who died before them and they went into the light. The bright light. Now, I didn’t see a light, and I don’t see anyone here that I know. You know the people who passed on before us. I don’t see any of them so this is not heaven. I don’t know where this is but we are not in heaven and I don’t like it here and I will never like it here. And where in the world is Henry? He was in the car too. Why isn’t he here? He has to be here if this is heaven.” 

“Maybe he didn’t die.” Annie said, shrugging her shoulders.

“I don’t know about you but I am not dead. I refuse to be dead. I have some more living to do. I can’t be dead before I turn 50. No way! Where is that guy at? I need to go home. I have a date in two days with that hunk, Henderson and I am not going to miss that. Do you know I flirted for over a year to get Henderson to notice me and ask me out? There is no freaking way I am not going on that date because I am in heaven. Heaven can wait. It can wait until at least after my date. This is crazy. Dead? No, I am not dead. Maybe you are dead. Maybe these faceless people are dead but not me.” Ida screamed again.

“Here comes the guy.” Annie pointed in the direction of the guy coming towards them.

“Ladies, apparently a small mistake was made. You both will be returning back to your bodies.”

“What are you talking about? I am in my body and I am not dead.” Ida said.

“Ida, look down through the clouds. What do you see?” The guy asked Ida.

“I can’t see a thing with these thick clouds.”

“Look now.” The guy said as the clouds parted making it clear for Ida to see.

“Hey, that’s me. Where am I? Why are all those tubes in my mouth and nose? Why am I wearing a hideous gown that looks like a hospital gown with that awful color. I hate green.” 

“Ida, don’t you get it?” Annie asked.

“Get what?” 

“Ida, we were in a car accident. We are in the hospital. At least our bodies are in there. Our spirits are here.  See the doctors pushing our chests? They are trying to make us come back, come back to life. But, we are here in heaven  and we need to go back.”

“This is not heaven my child.” The man said.

“Not heaven?? Then where are we?” Ida asked.

“You are in a place in between heaven and earth.” The guy answered.

“So, we don’t have to stay in this place?” Ida asked.

“No, you and Annie aren’t staying. Not this time.” The guy said and disappeared into the clouds and fog.

Six months later Annie and Ida were having lunch at Annie’s apartment. They had never spoken about what happened to anyone but themselves. After all, who would believe that they had  almost died but not really died and went to heaven but not really heaven and how Annie was at peace and Ida hated every second of it? No, they decided that nobody could hear that story and they were more than happy in the knowledge that they probably would go to heaven one day but for now heaven can wait. Ida hoped it waited until they were both 103 years old.